>> Kat: HI, EVERYONE.
IT’S ME, KAT.
GREG IS STILL OFF SKIING AND
SAYS THAT THE POWDER HAS BEEN
GREAT, WHICH IS WEIRD FOR THIS
TIME OF YEAR AND COLUMBIA, GUESS
I DON’T REALLY UNDERSTAND WINTER
SPORTS, BUT HAPPY TO FILL IN
AGAIN, AND SINCE I DON’T GET THE
CHANCE TO DO THIS TOO OFTEN, I
WANT TO DO SOMETHING DIFFERENT,
YOU SEE, SOMETIMES WE HEAR ON
FOX NEWS CAN BE A LITTLE BIT
HARD ON PRESIDENT BIDEN.
EVERY SECOND IT’S HE CALLED
REPUBLICANS OUT THREAT TO
DEMOCRACY THAT’S, OR SEEMED
CLUELESS WHILE AFGHANISTAN CLAPS
THAT, OR MIDDLE-CLASS PEOPLE CAN
AFFORD FOOD, CAN WE STOP
COMPLAINING FOR JUST ONE SECOND?
HOW WANT TO TAKE THIS
OPPORTUNITY TO HIGHLIGHT SOME OF
THE MOST IMPRESSIVE THINGS WE
HAVE SEEN FROM JOE DURING HIS
PRESIDENCY.
FOR ONE THING, HE DOES NOT GET
ENOUGH CREDIT FOR HIS DEVOTION
TO THE UNITED STATES HAVING ITS
FIRST FEMALE PRESIDENT.
YEAH!
A LOT OF PEOPLE IN THE PAST MAY
HAVE SAID THE FUTURE IS FEMALE,
BUT JOE BIDEN IS THE ONLY GUY
WHO THINKS THAT FUTURE IS NOW.
>> NOW PRESIDENT HARRISON I TOOK
A TOUR OF A VACCINATION CENTER
IN ARIZONA.
[LAUGHTER]
>> HAPPY BIRTHDAY, GREAT
PRESIDENT.
>> ALL KIDDING ASIDE, OF COURSE
PRESIDENT HARRIS IS A PROUD
HOWARD ALUM.
>> LAST WEEK PRESIDENT HARRISON
I STOOD AT THE UNITED STATES
CAPITAL.
>> Kat: YEAH, PLENTY OF PEOPLE
WANT TO SEE A FEMALE PRESIDENT,
BUT HE IS THE ONLY GUY WHO
ALREADY DOES.
AND HE CAN SEE GHOSTS TOO.
>> GOD BLESS YOU ALL. [APPLAUSE]
♪ ♪
>> Kat: EVERYONE ALWAYS
COMPLAINS ABOUT HOW THE
DEMOCRATS NOMINATED AN OLD WHITE
GUY, BUT THEY DID IT, THEY
NOMINATED THE FIRST
JEWISH/LATINX COMMANDER IN
CHIEF.
>> AND JILL AND I WERE
VICE PRESIDENT AND FIRST LADY,
WE HONORED TO HOST THE FIRST
ROSH HASHANAH SERVICE, I
PROBABLY WENT MORE THAN MANY OF
YOU DID.
[LAUGHTER]
YOU ALL THINK I AM KIDDING.
I CAN TELL YOU I’M NOT.
AND I WAS SORT OF RAISED IN A
PUERTO RICAN COMMUNITY AT HOME,
POLITICALLY.
>> Kat: AYE DIOS MIO.
MEANWHILE THE MOST TRANSPARENT
PRESIDENT WE HAVE HAD AND DON’T
LET ANYONE TELL YOU OTHERWISE, I
MEAN, WHO LETS US SEE BEHIND THE
SCENES THAT JOE BIDEN DOES?
>> BELIEVE IT OR NOT WITHOUT
ELECTORAL OR POLITICAL POWER,
THAT THE PERCENTAGE OF WOMEN WHO
REGISTERED TO VOTE AND CAST A
BALLOT IS CONSISTENTLY HIGHER
THAN THE PERCENTAGE OF THE MEN
WHO DO SO.
REPEAT THE LINE.
WOMEN ARE NOT WITHOUT ELECTORAL
AND TO BE PRECISE, OR POLITICAL
POWER.
>> Kat: YEAH!
WHILE OTHER PRESIDENTS JUST READ
WHAT THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO READ
OFF THE TELEPROMPTER, JOE BIDEN
IS NOT AFRAID TO READ
EVERYTHING.
HE REALLY IS A BRAVE GUY.
REMEMBER WHEN ROBERT FROST
TALKED ABOUT TAKING THE ROAD
LESS TRAVELED, NO ONE DOES THAT
BETTER THAN JOE. [LAUGHTER]
>> THANK YOU GUYS!
>> Kat: HE IS SUCH A
WASHINGTON OUTSIDER, ALWAYS
SEPARATING HIMSELF FROM THE
CROWD.
AND ALSO KNOWS HOW TO MAKE
PEOPLE FEEL REALLY SPECIAL, EVEN
AFTER THEY HAVE PASSED.
>> I WANT TO THANK ALL OF YOU
HERE, INCLUDING BIPARTISAN LIKE
REPRESENTATIVE SENATOR BRAUN,
SENATOR BOOKER, REPRESENTATIVE
JACQUI, ARE YOU HERE?
WHERE IS JACQUI?
>> Kat: WHILE MOST PEOPLE
PROMISE NOT TO FORGET YOU WHEN
YOU’RE GONE, JOE BIDEN TAKES IN
A MILLION STEPS FORWARD AND
FORGETS THAT YOU ARE GONE.
PLUS, JOE BIDEN IS A [BLEEP]
POTS.
IF YOU DON’T BELIEVE ME, LOOK AT
THIS.
[CROWD NOISE]
>> Kat: THAT’S RIGHT,
JOE BIDEN IS SO IRRESISTIBLY
THAT EVEN CHRISTIAN ICON THE
EASTER BUNNY CAN’T RESIST
TOUCHING HIM.
WHO CAN BLAME HIM?
HE IS STILL BANGING, I WOULD LET
HIM SIT MY EXTENSIONS ANY DAY OR
NIGHT OF THE WEEK, LET’S NOT
FORGET HE HAS BEEN DOING ALL OF
THIS WHILE BRAVELY BATTLING A
HORRIFIC ILLNESS.
>> THE FIRST FROST, YOU KNOW
WHAT IS HAPPENING, HOW TO PUT ON
THE WINDSHIELD WIPERS TO GET THE
OIL SLICK OFF THE WINDOW.
THAT’S WHY SO MANY PEOPLE I GREW
UP WITH HAVE CANCER.
>> Kat: YEAH, WHILE HE HAS
BEEN FIGHTING FOR YOU AND ME, HE
HAS ALSO BEEN FIGHTING OIL
CANCER, AND SO MELANIE OF HIS
FRIENDS HAVE OIL CANCER TOO, AND
SHAME ON US FOR IGNORING IT.
SO AFTER ALL OF THIS, HOW CAN
YOU NOT BELIEVE THAT JOE BIDEN
IS A STRONG FEMINIST SEX SYMBOL,
A LEADER FOR THE AGES, A MAN OF
GREAT APPEAL.
WHAT WITH THE ALTERNATIVE BE?
THAT OUR PRESIDENT WAS SOME GUY
WHO SCREWS UP ALL THE TIME?
AMERICA WOULD BE IN PRETTY BAD
SHAPE IF THAT WERE THE CASE. UNLIKE JOE BIDEN.
UNLIKE JOE BIDEN.
>> DR. BIDEN, HOW IS --
[UNINTELLIGIBLE]
>> HERE HE IS!
[APPLAUSE]
>> Kat: ALL RIGHT, LET’S
WELCOME TONIGHT’S GUESTS!
WHEN PEOPLE SEE THEM ON THE
STREET, THEY IMMEDIATELY STICK
OUT THEIR TONGUES AND SAY AH,
DR. DREW PINSKY!
[APPLAUSE]
WHY SPLURGE ON A FERRARI WHEN
YOU CAN HAVE A PERFECTLY GOOD
COROLLA, MOST OF THE ADAM
COROLLA SHOW, ADAM COROLLA.
SHE’S ALWAYS UP AND EVERYBODY’S
BUSINESS, HOST OF "AMERICAN
DREAM HOME" ON FOX BUSINESS
CHERYL CUSTODIAL.
WHEN HE STEPS UP TO THE PLATE, THE PITCHER RUNS HOME, THAT
THE PITCHER RUNS HOME, THAT
WORLD CHAMPION TYRUS.
ALL RIGHTS!
DR. DREW, YOU ARE A DOCTOR.
>> Drew: WOW.
YOU’RE THE FIRST PERSON TO HAVE
AS HER SAID THAT BEFORE.
>> Kat: I WAS GOING ASK YOU
HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE YOU TREATED
WITH OIL CANCER?
>> Drew: OIL CANCER, LIKE ME
AND MANY OF MY FRIENDS WE HAVE
OIL CANCER, BUT I NOT HAD ANY.
>> Kat: SHOCKING, SO WHAT DID
YOU MAKE OF THE YEAR FOR JOE?
>> Drew: ADAM AND I DISCUSSED
ON THE PODCAST AND TRY TO FIGURE
OUT WHAT IS UP WITH HIM.
WE REALLY DO AND I LATELY THINK
HE IS STARTING TO CONFETTI LATE
A LITTLE BIT, AND THAT’S WHAT
PEOPLE DO WHEN THEIR FACULTY
SLIPPED HAD NO HARM INTENDED,
HOPE THIS ISN’T TRUE, BUT PEOPLE
WILL FILL-IN WITH PARTICULARLY
THEIR PERSONALITY IS IN A
CERTAIN WAY, POLITICIANS
GENERALLY CONSTRUCTED THAT WAY
WHERE THE TRUTH IS MAYBE NOT
SUCH AN IMPORTANT MATTER, AND
YOUR COGNITIVE FUNCTIONS DECLINE
THEY WILL FILL-IN WITH STORY.
>> Kat: ADAM, I REMEMBER WE
WERE TOLD THAT JOE BIDEN WOULD
BE THE RETURN TO NORMAL, DID ANY
OF THAT LOOK NORMAL TO YOU?
>> Adam: ABOUT THE TRUTH,
DON’T FORGET.
A COUPLE OF THINGS, SO EVERYBODY
GOES, HE IS GETTING OLDER AND HE
HAS LOST A FEW MILES AN HOUR OFF
OF HIS FASTBALL, BUT HE IS VERY
SPECIFIC AND HIS LYING COMING
OUT, GOING MY UNCLE FRANK, JOEY!
THE MEDAL OF HONOR!
HE WAS DEAD, HE NEVER DID THAT.
LIKE LET ME TELL YOU WHAT
HAPPENS WHEN YOU GET OLDER, I
HAVE A DAD WHO IS 91, HE IS
LIKE, YOU SHOULD ASK -- WHAT IS
MY WIFE’S NAME AGAIN?
1951, TWO DUDES KISSING, AND
SAID THAT THIS IS THE FUTURE,
LIKE THAT IS VERY SPECIFIC AND
ALSO HIS LYING GOES BACK TO THE
’80s, TOP OF MY CLASS, I HAD A
FULL SCHOLARSHIP AND I GRADUATED
WITH 3 DEGREES, LIKE, NO, NO,
THAT IS ’80s LYING, SO IT’S
NOT LOSING HIS FACULTIES, IT’S
MORE LYING IN EVEN MORE SPECIFIC
BIZARRE WAY.
>> Drew: AND TO BE FAIR IT’S
GRANDIOSE IN A CERTAIN DIRECTION
ONLY.
>> Kat: RIGHT, ABSOLUTELY.
CHERYL, IS HE INSULTING HONEST
OLD PEOPLE OR BLAMES THAT ON HIS
AGE?
>> Cheryl: I DON’T KNOW WHAT
IS GOING ON WITH THEM, HE HAS
SLOWED DOWN A LITTLE BIT AND
LEAVE IT THERE, BUT THE PEOPLE
AROUND HIM, MY GOSH, OUR
PRESIDENT KAMALA HARRIS, THE
BORDERS ARE IS DOING A FABULOUS
JOB OF TAKING CARE OF THE
SOUTHERN BORDER, THAT’S A BIG
WIN.
THIS WEEK IT IS PETE BUTTIGIEG
THE REAL STAR.
HE HAS DONE A GREAT JOB MANAGING
THE SKIES IN THE AIRPORT
EVERYWHERE, SOUTHWEST AIRLINES,
BIG A SAMPLE, SO I DON’T KNOW
WHAT IS GOING ON, BUT ALL I CAN
SAY RIGHT NOW MARGARINE IS 50%
MORE EXPENSIVE AND IF I COOKED
AT HOME I WOULD BE REALLY UPSET.
>> Kat: I HAVE NOT DONE THAT
IN YEARS.
>> Tyrus: DID YOU EVER DO
THAT?
>> Kat: MAYBE EIGHT OR NINE
YEARS.
DO YOU THINK YOU WILL GET
BETTER?
NEW YEAR, NEW MEANING, WILL JOE
DO THAT?
>> Tyrus: THE AUDIENCE WAS
CONFUSED BY THE DOCTOR’S
ASSESSMENT, AND I THINK WHAT HE
WAS TRYING TO SAY AND LAYPERSON
TERMS IS [BLEEP] ARTIST, THAT’S
WHAT HE IS TRYING TO SAY, HE IS
FULL OF [BLEEP].
HE IS A LIAR IS WHAT HE IS TRYING TO SAY.
TRYING TO SAY.
HE LIES!
WITH ALL THE GAS IN YOUR
MONOLOGUE THAT YOU SHOWED, AND
THAT WAS THE POLITE VERSION.
YOU WOULD NEVER SAY ANYTHING AT
BAD ABOUT AN ELDERLY PERSON
LOSING THEIR FACULTY’S, BUT HE
IS A LIAR, HE IS AN OLD LIAR,
THAT’S IT.
[LAUGHTER]
>> Kat: HE IS AN OLD LIAR.
HE IS SUCH A LIAR.
>> Cheryl: WHO IS HIS VISITING
ANGEL AT THIS POINT, THAT’S MY
QUESTION, IS THAT HIS WIFE?
IS IT THE EASTER BUNNY
APPARENTLY.
>> Tyrus: GEORGE
STEPHANOPOULOS OR WHATEVER, THE
REPUBLICAN GUY.
HE LIKES HIM, SANTOS.
LIKE THAT’S HIS REAL NAME.
>> Kat: IF ANY OF US BEHAVE
ANYTHING CLOSE TO THAT WE WOULD
IMMEDIATELY BE SENT HOME FOREVER
FOREVER.