Hey there it's clay with modern love.life. In this video, we're going to be talking about
how to make your ex addicted to you and five factors that just, you know, don't fail when
it comes to this. If you properly implement them, now you're going to want to stick around
because the last one is a little bit weird, a little bit off the beaten path. You know,
it's not anything like crazy, like reverse psychology or, you know, pay people on Craigslist.
So you can like take selfies with them to make them jealous or anything like that. We're
going to talk about what actually works here. Okay. So first and foremost, uh, number one,
you got to get out of damage control mode. Now, if you're new here, if you don't know
what damage control mode is, it's that panicked state of being that many times people find
themselves in during a breakup, um, where you're, you know, maybe doing things like
texting a million times a day, begging pleading, um, calling over-investing over, analyzing,
walking on eggshells, all that sort of stuff.
Damage control mode sort of things. Obviously I think, you know, me and probably most other
people here on YouTube are going to be advising you to not be in damage control mode. Okay.
That's one of the main reasons why people recommend regular, no contact. We recommend
active, no contact, but, um, that's a story for another day. I, I'm not a huge fan of
no contact in general. I think there's definitely a time and place for it. But, um, just, just
as like a general thing, I don't think that everyone needs to be doing it. I think it
can be beneficial if you are in damage control mode, but if you're not in damage control
mode, Hey, maybe you don't need to do it. Maybe you don't even need to do it if you
are in damage control mode. I don't know, but you know, we've got to take these things
one thing at a time, but either way, you know, tangent decide, um, you gotta get out of damage
control mode.
If you want your ex to actually value you, connect with you, get addicted to you, whatever
you got to get out of damage control mode and pull your energy back where it belongs
so that you're not constantly looking for things outside of yourself. Okay. Thing, number
two is that you have to show them that they're not walking back into the same relationship
that they walked out of in the first place. Now breakups happen for all kinds of different
reasons. Now, usually they fall under one of three categories, either the two of you
weren't on the same team. Uh, you had poor communication or there was a lack of trust,
but you know, you want to take whatever the reason was for the breakup. And you want to
actually demonstrate to your ex they're not walking back into the same troubled, challenged
relationship that they were in, in the first place.
So what you want to do is you want to demonstrate this to them, not just tell them about it.
Don't just talk about it and promise them up and down that things are going to be different,
but we want to demonstrate this by how you live your life. Now, oftentimes people are
like, okay, well, how is my ex going to be able to see this? If we're not in contact
with one another, if we're not meeting up in person, well, you just got to do it anyway.
You got to take whatever it was and just start living your life in a better way, whether
or not your ex is looking okay. It doesn't matter whether or not your ex is looking because
they're going to find some way of figuring it out anyway. So just constantly be, be living
your life in a better way.
Um, that's going to show them and show anyone else that this is not the same dynamic that
it was before, whether or not they're looking, whether or not you think that they're looking
whether or not they're stalking you on Facebook or Instagram or any other social media platform
thing. Number three, to get your ex addicted to you, um, is to hit the thumbs up button
for this, the YouTube algorithm, because the more people hit the thumbs up button for this
YouTube algorithm, the more YouTube is going to say, Hey, this is actually a pretty good
video. We might want to show Clay's videos to some more people out there. Um, maybe give
the guy a little bit of a, you know, a leg up, give him a little bit of a boost. Uh,
so, you know, if you do like these videos, you want to help other people out, uh, by
helping them find these videos much more easily than the reverse psychology BS videos out
there hit the thumbs up button.
It does help a guy out with his YouTube channel anyway, seriously though, thing. Number three
is to actually connect with your ex on an emotional level. Now, this is probably one
of the main cornerstones of what we've been talking about in this channel ever since the
beginning is emotional connection. We've talked about how it's the most important thing in
the whole process. We've talked about, um, the advanced relational skills that help you
to make this emotional connection happen. Uh, by the way, we have a whole playlist on
advanced relational skills, it's right up there. Um, it is really what we've been, you
know, um, talking about primarily on this YouTube channel, especially in the early days,
but, um, in, in, in many other forms as well too, um, it, through our online course, such
as the X solution program and all that, but emotional connection is the most important
thing that you can be focusing on.
You should be focusing on connecting on an emotional level, forming a lasting, meaningful,
emotional bond with your ex and doing whatever you can do to, uh, deepen that emotional connection
by being more present, by being more curious and empathetic by having composure, not posturing
or collapsing by having clear communication and all of these other things, the more you
can connect emotionally, the more they're going to be able to see that spending time
with you is enjoyable. It's worth it. And it's actually something that's going to be
a benefit for them, especially in these days and ages when, um, we're all just so starved
for emotional connection because of social media addiction being locked up in our homes
because of the situation. Uh, haven't made a video about the situation in a while. Maybe
I should anyway, but emotional connection is absolutely critical, very, very, very important.
Uh, the fourth thing that you can do to get your ex addicted to you is to live your best
life. Go ahead, step into, what's important to you. Step into your values, step into doing
something meaningful for you, step into something that is absolutely the best version of you
that you want to experience in this world. Not necessarily the best version of yourself
to try to impress your ex or anything like that, but just what is it that that's important
to you? What is it that's important to you about life? Are you living your life congruently
with that? If you are awesome, if you could step into it in a deeper way. Okay, let's
go ahead and do that too. If you're not living into that at all, start thinking about it,
start asking yourself what is holding you back and actually get yourself to step into
that.
You know, we had this talk, um, a couple of days ago on this, on this channel here about
like, what, what if your ex is rebound? Relationship is better than you. I gave you a little bit
of a pep talk on that one. Um, and if need to go back and, you know, revisit that video
because it's important stuff, you really do want to live the best life that you can. You
want to give yourself permission to do all of that. Um, and then the fifth thing that
you can do, and this is kind of a surprising one, um, is to actually love yourself. If
you love yourself, you're not going to get caught in this pattern of chasing of seeking
validation of looking for approval of getting caught, caught off center. You're going to
actually love yourself enough to say, Hey, you know, clay, um, it's time to make some
hard choices here.
So, so obviously self-love is not just about, you know, eating chocolates and bubble bath
and all that stuff. Uh, but self-love is about making the hard choices. It's about doing
things that you would actually do. If you cared about yourself, if you actually loved
yourself, you'd say, okay, you know, I love myself enough to, to, to actually exercise
in the morning. I love myself enough to actually eat right. I love myself enough to actually
make these hard choices and build a lasting relationship with my dad. Even though I know
it's strained. I know, uh, I love myself enough to do things like push myself out of my comfort
zone and ask my boss for a raise that I actually deserve. You know, go ahead and push yourself
out of your comfort zone and do these sorts of things. Do these sorts of things to, to,
to love yourself and to really value yourself enough, to push yourself out of your comfort
zone and, um, value yourself.
And when you do this, you're not going to get caught in this cycle of chasing validation.
You're going to say, okay, I'm going to love myself enough to value my own opinion of myself
more than someone else's. And I'm going to just simply say, okay, if you're not open
for this right now, that's okay. If you change your mind, that's okay. We can have that conversation
if, and when we get there, but it sounds like you need some space right now. So we can just
go ahead and do that. And that's, that's really one of the best ways to, to not be emotionally
spiraling out of control and to, um, do what you need to do to stay balanced, stay grounded
in what's most important to you stay balanced and grounded in who you are, and to actually,
you know, value yourself enough to be in alignment with that.
If you want to actually work together with us, we haven't talked about this in a while,
and if you want to work together with us, we do have a coaching program called commit.
Um, it's, application-based only because it requires a lot of, you know, my personal attention
and all that stuff. And I want to make sure that I'm actually working with the right people.
So, um, if you do want to apply for coaching, there is a, uh, an application form of@modernlove.life
slash quiz. You can go ahead and check that out. It's also down in the description box
below. Um, and if it makes sense for us to work together, we can go ahead and talk about
what that looks like. And if we do work together awesome, uh, we've helped a lot of people
get back into great relationships. Live better lives, have a great connections with people
in their lives, get back together with the Xs, all that sort of stuff through the commit
program. So, um, please feel free to apply if that's something you want to do. Um, I'd
probably love to work with you. Uh, I guess it just depends on whether or not we can work
together, whether or not it makes sense for us to do so, but the application form is right
down below. And once again, if you do like this video, please hit the thumbs up button
for this channel. But thank you so much. Please take care and I'll talk to you next time.