My name is Scott Warner.
My name is Ruth Warner.
I grew up in Miami, Florida.
Ruth grew up in Guatemala City.
And we've lived in Colorado for
nearly 20 years.
I have two kids of my own. And
we have a blended family. So we
have a total of five.
By my first marriage, I have
Andrew Shea, and Brooke, whose
mother passed away in 1999. So
for many years, I was a single
parent. When I met Ruth in 2004,
Ruth was the mother of Carlos,
who was four at the time. And
then today we have Valentina,
who is six. So growing
up, I always thought about
marrying my perfect man. I grew
up in a Christian family, and I
looked up to my dad, he was a
pastor, and I always dreamed
about marrying great men like
him.
I had the privilege of serving
in a university as a university
pastor. And in 2004, I served as
an advisor on a mission team to
Guatemala, my teenage daughter
and I stayed together with one
of the families in the church,
and that was a mother and father
and six young adult children,
which included Ruth who was the
oldest daughter, and her son,
Carlos, who was four at the
time,
they were doing different
missionary works at the city and
our church. And we offer our
home as a part of, you know,
whoever wanted to come and join
us and be at our home for you
know, a few days, and Scott and
his daughter che came to our
home. And that's how we met.
Yeah, it was awesome. It wasn't
on that trip that I did anything
with my impression. But some
months later, I made a second
trip back to Guatemala,
specifically to ask Ruth and
then to ask her parents, if she
was interested in beginning to
communicate. That was the second
of many trips to Guatemala over
the next couple of years that
subsequently led to our
courtship and to our marriage.
I was really excited when I
thought about the idea of
marrying Scott. And there was
just one thing that I thought
that kind of made me think
twice, I guess, and a was B
because he was living in a
different country. But the idea
of moving to a different
country. It was kind of exciting
at the same time. So my wedding
day was beautiful. I think we
planned for a long time. You
know that day, I was excited. We
had all our friends and family.
Scott's family flew to what
Amala. So it was a beautiful
wedding. It was a big wedding.
It was something different for
Scott and the whole family.
Because we married on Sunday,
and it was during our service a
church. So it was something very
different for them. But that's
what all I always wanted, you
know, is marrying my church with
my pastor, my friends at church.
So it was it was a beautiful,
beautiful day.
At the end of our honeymoon, she
said to me, I'll never forget
she said she was the happiest
woman in the world. However, we
had to wait four months for visa
to be approved for her and
Carlos. And quickly. There was
vapors or strange indicators
that something was afoot.
Something was going on something
wasn't right. She went quickly
from being the happiest woman in
the world to being very confused
and subsequently distant closed
off.
This first year was very hard
for me. You know, obviously not
being with him and not being
able to come to the US with him.
And while I US and Guatemala, I
met another person. And this is
what may, I guess the this year
of not being together more
difficult. It just meant that,
you know, by the time that I was
supposed to come to the US, I
didn't want to come, I wanted to
stay in Guatemala.
It was 11 months after marriage,
that eventually she did
emigrate. And I would describe
that 11 month waiting period,
not as a stand, but more as a
kneel.
For me being in that time where
I wasn't sure about. My decision
of marrying Scott was the best.
And again, at the same time,
being in love with another
person. I think I always had in
my heart and in my mind, that I
was doing something wrong, that
there was something wrong going
on, because I marry a great man,
and I couldn't love him. So for
me, it was very difficult. It
was very hard being in that
situation of knowing that I was
doing something wrong, but not
wanting to be with my husband.
And so one particular night,
about 13 months into our
marriage, I said, this is
critical. I need to know I can
handle it. Just tell the truth
is, is there someone else. And
she confessed the truth, I
didn't want to know details, I
just wanted to know the truth.
It was some months, some months
later, until it was finally
finally, over. just fast
forwarding, I can tell you that
in the seven years of our
marriage, the first seven years,
the first six years, I often
felt not through her words, but
through attitude through
emotion, I often felt like my
wife wished that she had married
someone else. It's a terrible,
terrible feeling. But you know,
we're together. But it was more
of a half two. Together, fast
forwarding to year seven. We
were doing I thought better. And
then one Christmas, December the
26th of the seventh year of our
marriage, I remember it very
clearly, it was like the switch
was flipped. And I saw the
coldness in the closed off miss
that I had seen back early in
our marriage shortly after our
honeymoon. And I immediately was
suspicious. I gave her a few
days. And then I confronted her
and said something is up. Tell
me tell me what's going on here.
And of course, you know, she
denied on May the 20th of 2012,
just before our seventh
anniversary, I approached her
knowing that she was in the
process of pulling away and
figuring out what she wanted to
do going forward. And I did what
marriage helper does not
recommend I gave what would be
known as an ultimatum. And I
said, you know you can be
married or you can have a
boyfriend but you can't do both.
You get to decide. And to my
utter dismay, she on June the
first moved out. By this time
now we're seven years later,
there's all of this resource
available on the internet. So it
nighttime when I can't sleep on
Googling, marriage help and
marriage restoration. Like many
people, I came across this white
haired gentleman with this
soothing voice who seemed to
have an approach that really
understood the dynamics.
So the first time I heard about
marriage helper was in 2014.
That was a little bit it was the
same month that we got divorce
with Scott. So he was looking
into marriage helper and he
asked me if I would go with him.
And my response was, yes, I'll
go with you. If you sign the
divorce papers, so that was in
my mind already. So we attended
marriage helper for the first
time in 2014. And because of the
place I was, I honestly don't
remember much about what they
say what we talked about. But
one thing I do remember was that
I felt respected from all the
stuff. So every time I thought
about marriage helper, I
thought, how well I was treated
in those days when I was there.
So I was so committed to this
three out of four thing. They
say three out of four couples
that come to the workshop decide
to save their marriage, I'm
going yeah, the odds are in our
favor. And it didn't work for
us.
Every time Scott asked me, what
would it take for us to
reconcile? I always tell him a
miracle.
Route said to me, I know what
you want. I don't want to hurt
you. But I just don't see any
way for that to happen. It would
take a miracle.
We were separated with Scott in
2014. legally divorced, so we
signed papers, but we were
separated since 2012, I believe.
So it was a few years, you know
that we were not together with
Scott. I met someone else, not
the same person that I met. You
know, when we just got married.
I met another person and I got
pregnant.
On December the 28th of 2015. I
received a phone call from Ruth
saying that her water had broke.
And she was going to the
hospital to deliver her baby.
She invited me to come that
evening to the hospital. It was
weird as one of the best
probably the weirdest thing that
I've ever read a supposition
I've ever been in my life
because I'm being invited by my
former wife to come to the
hospital for the delivery of
another man's baby.
So the day that Valentina was
born, his the biological father
wasn't there. And Scott was
there. He was there with me, we
prayed. And that was part of you
know, that was the beginning of
this miracle. After Valentina
was born, I went back to my
home. biological father wasn't
present in her life.
On August the eighth of 2016.
Now she's eight months old. I
got a call at 5am in the
morning. It was Ruth hysterical,
I could only make out three
words baby fever, pray.
I barely spoke to him. I
couldn't speak because I was
crying. And I he asked me, Do
you want me to come home? And I
said, Yes, please.
So I get to their house at 530
in the morning. Valentina has
been up all night long with
104.5 temperature, she is on
fire, sweating profusely and
said before we go to the
hospital, can we pray? Ruth
said, Yeah, let's pray. I laid
hands on her. I'm not a faith
healer, but I believe in the
power of God. And I prayed a
simple prayer out of the Gospel
of Luke, and that prayer was
Jesus just say the word and this
child will be healed.
Valentina sat down, she stopped
crying. I started, you know,
feeling her head. She was cold.
The fever was gone. And it was a
miracle right there. She was
healed.
That night. I went back by their
place to see how she was she was
perfectly normal. So I said to
Ruth, you know what happened
this morning? And she said, That
was amazing. I said, What
happened this morning is you got
your miracle. Three weeks later,
we began the reconciliation
process. A year later we ended
up back at the workshop this
time Ruth's Sam. Yes, let's do
it. I'm willing to go again
because I felt respected the
first time the
second time was completely
different. I was in a different
position and that time in our
you know, relationship with
Scott and many times During the
workshop I asked Scott, did they
talk about this last time? Or
was this mentioned last time
because the first time I
honestly don't remember, you
know what happened.
She was hearing things like she
was hearing it for the first
time. So we began then actually,
as a couple, processing and
applying the marriage helper
principles. A year after that we
came back a third time at Ruth's
request peace, because she said,
I really, really want to learn
this. We came back as a newly
engaged couple and remarried on
the Sunday of the third workshop
that we attended. Now, I can
tell you, we're a work in
progress for sure. We have lots
of things that we've been
growing in, over these years.
Just a couple of weeks ago, Ruth
said to me, can we go again, I
really, really want to learn
more. It's working folks. It's
working.
I think after we went to the
workshop, it made such an impact
and such a big difference in our
marriage, that I feel like this
second time being married with
Scott taught me to love and
respect him the way I never did.
When we just got married. And
the marriage we have now it's
something that I never thought
we were going to have. We have a
beautiful marriage. And the
relationship we have now I would
have never had with him the
first time. So all the
information I got from the
workshop helped me have the
marriage I have today with my
husband, Valentina.
This is Valentina Abigail.
Abigail Abigail.
My name is Ruth Warner.
My name is Scott Werner. And
this is our reconciliation
story.