- You know, I'm walking down the street,
if I see someone who looks interesting
and I think they might be a property investor,
I've done this many times, just walk up to them,
"Hey, I'm Shazz.
"I saw you walking down the street,
"coming out of that building.
"Are you by any chance a property investor?"
Great, networking galore.
That is who I have created myself to be.
(dramatic music)
In this video, I am going to tell you
how to smash through boundaries,
transform your mindset and approach
with regards to social interactions,
getting the outcome you want
and absolutely living a life that you do not give a fuck
about what other people think.
So one of the general kind of themes in entrepreneurship
and mindset that comes up quite a lot is this topic
of just developing this general approach
of going after a goal, not giving a shit about
almost what other people think in your pursuit of the goal.
It's, you know, I don't give a fuck,
it's that type of approach.
Now I get asked a lot about how to actually create that
and how to develop it.
Well, the simple answer is it's a consequence,
in my view, of experience
and the great thing about experiences are
that you can go out there and get them and create them.
It's much like looking at someone
who's got a fit and healthy body
and then you ask them how they got that body,
they weren't born with muscles and fitness and abs
and all the rest of it and it's quite obvious
without you even asking them,
that the way they developed that body was
to be hitting the gym, exercising regularly,
managing their diet, and making sure they were doing
the things which would create the that outcome they wanted.
Well, the same goes for mindset.
Again, it's not something we're born with,
it's something which is a consequence of the experiences
we might have had in our life,
and if you want to develop a certain mindset
and you haven't yet had the experiences
that have naturally led you there, you can actually go out
and deliberately have certain experiences
in order to develop that part of your mindset.
A few years ago, I was in the situation
where I had been relying heavily on alcohol.
The first time that I actually drank
I think was during my first year of university.
It was obviously an interesting experience
and my mindset gradually started to shift.
I went from a place of hey, I'm having a great time,
okay people are drinking, I'll try it,
I'll have a drink and see what happens.
It goes from we're having a great time,
let's have a drink, to let's have a drink
so we can have a great time.
That tipping point is where things started to get messy
and over the years, that actually led me to a place
where I was drinking more and more.
Two or three times a week, I would be getting heavily drunk,
vomiting, and I'd be hungover for a day or two afterwards
and I'd be doing this in the middle of the week.
Now, I reached a low point in life
and actually I made a decision to stop drinking.
So I went to an Allen Carr program,
the same program that I had used previously
to give up smoking and I used the same program
to give up alcohol.
So I never drank again and I haven't drank
for three or four years.
Now, the point is not about the alcohol story.
The point is what happened next.
What happened next was that I went from dependent on alcohol
to not using alcohol and going out in social settings
where I would usually be used to having alcohol.
I found myself in a situation where I was a recluse,
I was very introverted, I was very quiet,
I didn't have the social confidence.
Even in settings where I was out for a friend's birthday,
I didn't feel able to actually socialize effectively
and it was a real sort of train wreck.
So I literally decided to create experiences
that would shift my mindset back into this place
where I could go out there and be bold, be interactive,
be sociable, without requiring any sort of substance.
So actually what I did was I found the most extreme scenario
that I could.
It was an RSD bootcamp, Real Social Dynamics,
which is actually talking to women,
meeting women when you're out and about.
When you're attracted to a woman
and you want to talk to her,
because of the emotions and the desires involved in that,
that becomes the most difficult scenario
for a guy to kind of approach.
And if you can crack that, then socializing in the bar
with your mates or random new people becomes easy.
The RSD bootcamp was literally a three-day bootcamp
of immersion where we would start with simple exercises
and it was all around central London.
So we did simple things like walking down the street
and maintaining eye contact with people
and then we gradually got into
slightly more out-there things,
like we had to do ridiculous dances,
humping lampposts in the middle of busy intersections,
talking to women who we'd see on the street.
We'd literally be standing there
and our trainer would be like, "This girl, go."
And we just had to go up to them, say hello,
introduce ourselves, and just stay in the conversation
until it naturally concluded or they told us to go away
or maybe the conversation unfolded
and we ended up exchanging phone numbers.
We gradually had more and more kind of out-there,
intense drills to run.
It's not about the kind of picking up women,
it's about the training our social skills
in the most extreme circumstances.
In the evenings, it got even more extreme than that.
We're literally in night clubs,
like crazy, crazy wild night clubs,
and we had to go and approach groups of girls
in that nightclub environment with the booming music,
with loads of people, with all the girls
who have made an effort to look pretty,
and there's gonna be guys all around
trying to get their attention.
You have to go up to girls you've never met before,
engage them in conversation.
You're not allowed to just dance with them,
you have to actually engage them,
and you have to use everything within your power to do that.
Loud body language, loud volume, engaging eye contact,
great energy, and you have to really manage that
to engage them and you have to stay in that conversation
for at least a minute with your coach timing you.
If you get kicked out, you have to go back in.
It literally got as extreme as going up to the girl
on the podium to do exactly the same thing.
Now, after a weekend of doing that,
being at a drinks event in a networking environment
with a bunch of strangers is like a walk in the park.
"Hey, how's it going, I'm Shazz.
"Who are you?
"Nice to meet you, let's have a conversation."
You know, walking down the street,
if I see someone who looks interesting
and I think they might be a property investor,
I've done this many times, just walk up to them,
"Hey, I'm Shazz.
"I saw you walking down the street,
"coming out of that building.
"Are you by any chance a property investor?"
Great, networking galore.
Things like being at dinners with big groups of friends
I can be bold.
And they're all busy chugging away alcohol
to get to this state in which they believe
enables them to be sociable and start having fun
and I just rock up in there and I'm bold as ever.
It's not I'm an extrovert.
It's not that's who he is.
It's that is who I have created myself to be
by putting myself in experiences and scenarios
which will enable me to develop the skills
that I require.
So how to develop that can-do, out-there,
proactive attitude?
Just get out there, practice it, immerse yourself,
and you know what?
It will be painful.
You will crash and burn,
a lot, a lot at the beginning.
But you have got to be willing
to endure that short-term pain
in order to break through the boundaries
and develop a long-term skill set
that will enable you to transform your approach
and your way of being in life.
So I hope you found that video useful.
That video was created in response to some of the questions
which some of you guys have been asking.
So hopefully it answered some of the questions
around general approach, mindset, can-do attitude.
Please do let me know your thoughts, comments,
and also let me know any follow up questions.
Subscribe now if you haven't already subscribed
and I'll see you on the next video.
Cheers.
(dramatic music)