So I've got a question, about why your ex might be acting passive aggressive or how
to deal with a passive aggressive ex.
You know, like maybe the, they broke up with you and you guys went your separate ways or
something like that.
And you know, out of the blue they just reach out to you on, I don't know, Facebook or whatever.
And they, they just like say something and you know, maybe you just say something really
short back like, oh, hey, that's cool or whatever.
You know, you're doing like the whole no contact active, no contact thing.
So you're not like trying to engage with them or anything like t-hat.
But then, you know, that's when the passive aggressive behavior starts to come out.
They say something like that.
Oh, way to go, you weird way have a conversation, man, really nice to talk to you.
You're so open, you
know, all that kind of rubbish.
So why is that happen and what do you do about it?
Well, the reason that it's happening is likely because, you know, when you're in a relationship
with someone before your break up, you kind of get used to having that, that emotional
connection with someone.
You get used to having someone in your life who you can share your emotions with, who
can connect with, who can share the details of your daily life with.
You know, when you have a bad day, you can talk to them.
When you have something great or funny or interesting happened to you, you can talk
to them and share that with them.
And, when you break up, you suddenly don't have that in your life anymore.
And what may be happening with your ex is that they want that in their lives again.
And, and because you were the last person they were in a relationship with, that is
kind of the obvious person that they would reach out to you, they'd reach out to you.
And, and they're really trying to kind of recreate that feeling.
They're trying to recreate that emotion, that connection, so that they can, you know, get
some kind of feeling off their chests, share some experience with you or, or feel heard
or seen in some way.
And, you know, what you should do about it is, you know, I wouldn't suggest rewarding
passive aggressive behavior.
That's, that's not what I'd suggest doing.
You know, if you're doing the whole no contact or active, no contact, preferably a, if you're
doing that thing, then, then what you want to do is you want to really be firm about
it.
You want to say, hey, we're not in a relationship right now.
You know, in case, you know, you broke up with me in case you forgot.
You don't just don't say it like all, you know, passive aggressive, like, you broken
up with me so I'm not going to be there for you.
Don't, don't do that.
But you know, just, just be real about it.
Like, you know, yeah, you broke up with me.
So I really can't be here to play the boyfriend or girlfriend role for you that maybe you're
looking for right now.
Personally, right now I still need to heal from this breakup.
You know, if you're still doing active, no contact if you're, if you haven't reached
the end of that time yet.
So yeah, I'm still, I'm still healing from that breakup and, right now for me to heal,
I what's best for me is to not be in touch with you.
What's best for me is to, really get through the emotions of this breakup on my own.
And I'm sorry I, I just can't really be there for you in the way that you want me to right
now.
That's the kind of thing I would say, in that sort of situation, if you are through the,
the active no contact period and you do feel emotionally ready to contact them, then, then
it's okay to contact them.
But again, I wouldn't reward them for that kind of passive aggressive behavior.
I wouldn't, you know, suddenly give them this connection, this openness because on a subtle
psychological level, they'll, they'll realize, oh, okay, if I want a reaction out of him
or out of her, all I have to do is whine like a, you know, three year old toddler or something
like that and, and I'll get my way.
You know, I'm not saying though like consciously think this, but, but sort of unconsciously
it will reinforce that behavior.
So what I would recommend doing is really just saying, you know I really want to have
a nice conversation with you, but, you know, when you're, when you're, when you talk to
me like that, it makes me not really want to engage with you.
I would be, I would absolutely love to connect with you possibly, in the future, when, when
you're feeling better, when, when we can really talk like adults and really connect.
I'm like adults without having to go into this passive aggressive argument here.
Cause I don't want to argue with you.
I want our interactions to be positive and I'm right now, I can tell that if we engage
together, it's going to turn into some kind of fight or something.
So let's just not do this now, but maybe in a day or two we can, we can come back together
and talk about this.
That's what I would recommend saying and that sort of situation.
So I hope this helps you understand why you may be experiencing a passive aggressive ex
and what you could possibly do about that situation.
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Thanks.