So across society, including on
social media blaming others has
been a way of life in this country.
Why are we so quick to point
the fingers at others?
And how is this actually
impacting our society?
Yeah, so NBC LX storyteller talks
with the psychologist about the rise
in today's blaming culture and why we
can't seem to really stop this behavior.
Interesting messaging the president
called it Putin's price hike.
Of course, laying the blame squarely
on the person who started this war.
Vladimir Putin. Blame works
as a way of deflecting those
unwanted feelings onto ourselves.
They don't blame the pollsters blame our
founding fathers by the end of this evening,
I'm gonna be blamed for everything.
All right, so there is just so
much that is happening and I
just have to delete the noise.
Here's what we should be afraid
of here is to blame for it.
At one moment we're blaming a leader
the next moment it is technology.
It's whether it's traffic.
There is so much noise that
is happening that it's just
overwhelming and hard to keep up.
I've even gotten caught up in this myself.
Blaming my wife recently for
throwing away an important
piece of paper that honestly.
Should have taken care of months ago,
but why do we blame and at what expense?
Blame is
just an easy way that comes up very
automatic automatically for all of us pretty
much to release that that uncomfortable
distress blame becomes automatic
in some scenarios. This stems
from fear or protecting one's ego.
It's all about protecting my ego.
If I can convince myself that I'm all good,
and in fact a you're the
problem person, that's all bad.
Then I feel better about myself.
There is really good research
that shows that you know blaming is criticism
and we don't respond well to criticism.
Blame is really about not
taking accountability and again
pushing things out externally.
Work environments are another
common place for this.
A good example of fear meeting the
ego when they're in the workplace.
It wasn't me. It was my coworker's fault,
or my boss is racist and it causes people
never to look at themselves, right?
How can we grow emotionally as people?
How can we improve as a society?
If we're not willing to look at ourselves.
Wow, that's really interesting. That's
such a fascinating conversation and
I love this because I've really
been exploring just on my own time.
Kind of. How do we escape?
Shame right? And and So what we've
been talking about you and I.
The two words, accountability and empathy.
We've really been focusing on those,
and I feel like exactly what they said.
You know, we place blame on other people too,
because out of fear for herself
out of protection for herself.
But they also were talking about that.
You know, that people think they
feel better when they do that
that they clear their name of it.
I actually feel worse.
If I blame somebody,
especially if I know like you know,
I could have maybe done something different.
And I gotta say, man,
it has been a game changer to
1st like what could I have done
differently and then let me bring
that to the conversation to try
to figure out some solution here.
And there's always some kind
of productivity out of that.
Yeah, I mean, I found in the
last couple years, right?
Everything that was going on around
us always trying to figure out why
was it happening and I thought
I caught myself like pointing
the fingers at people, yeah?
And then finally I was like, well,
this is really negative and this is
really unhealthy and not productive.
It's not and I'm trying to just like
understand where people come from
like listen to them a little bit more
before I'm immediately saying you're wrong.
I'm right, you know,
and and you're right it.
It brings the stress level down,
you know it opens up a conversation
and people just get along.
Well, it also just
becomes a collaboration
between whoever is involved.
And hey, how can we make this better?
Also nothing good comes out
of blaming people. Yeah then,
because then everybody goes on the defensive.
Nobody wants to take ownership of this.
There's just nothing good there,
so I would my advice to myself to all of
us is whenever there's a situation first,
what could I have done differently?
Is there a way I could
prevented that from happening?
So yes, I'm not happy with what you did.
Can I adjust my actions to to maybe
prevent even putting you in that
situation to maybe disappoint me
or let me down like that again?
It was also fun to see Cody who
used to work with that former
colleague Cody Broadway.
Wonderful to see him as well we.