so we're answering viewer mail letters tonight ladies and gentlemen letter number one begins
Dear Dave what does Rupert oh you know we had a guy in the audience Lane lady we had a guy in the
audience ask about Rupert G and how timely tonight's first letter Dear Dave what does
Rupert G do when he's not slicing meat Nathan Gendron Kingston Ontario is Rupert in the store
turn on the thing there Rupert area hey Rupert how you doing buddy nice to see you thank you
a lot of folks asking about you yeah you better stock up on bottled water that's all I can say
okay they're crazy for that bottled water okay uh what it was a markup on a bottle of
water like that you pay like a nickel for it and charge eight bucks is that about right uh a buck
and a quarter buck and a quarter now listen uh we want to know what kind of things you're not doing
when you're working tell us a little bit about your life I don't want to be nosy but that's the
question here what do you do well I like to go out with my girlfriend your girlfriend really I
didn't even realize you were seeing someone would you like to meet her oh yeah that would be great
okay well she's kind of shy but I can introduce you oh Dave please meet Cindy Cindy oh hello whoa
Cindy this is beautiful easy easy watch it
okay that's fine sometimes I just can't help myself I know thank you very much
all right but that's that's funny that's Rupert and Cindy
you kind of give me kind of a sick feeling uh letter number two Dear Dave ever do any
singing uh Robert uh Berardi Howell New Jersey that's pretty funny because we just played uh
the album do I ever do any singing do I ever do any singing can I have the
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no no I never did
never do can't do it
I wonder who will be first lady
uh letter number three Dear Dave uh seeing as how school is starting do you have any advice
for a college freshman Samantha Peters Gilroy California uh well Samantha don't worry about it
everybody goes through this and I think you'll be fine but I want to tell you some being a
student is difficult and in nowhere is this more true than right here in New York City and now to
comment on the state of the New York City school system please welcome Mr Gene sismanski Gene
foreign
thanks for having me here Dave as you stated the New York City school system
has had a chair criticism but I'm here to say things are looking up lesson plans are
more challenging than ever our teachers are energized and we've finally been able to make
some much needed repairs to our schools all in all it's going to be a great year well
that's that's certainly very encouraging thank you very much Mr suzmanski now can
I ask you where where do you teach teach I'm in the third grade jackass
great
he's in the third grade but I would say he's reading it like the fifth grade level
wouldn't you I noticed that yeah it's pretty good how did you imagine no it's coming right along
okay letter number four is that where we are letter number four uh Dear Dave if
you could choose anyone to be president of the United States who would you choose and
why Evan Johnson Freehold New Jersey well you know what I think we should do because
President Bill Clinton now is recovering from the heart surgery and I personally know how
difficult that can be let's don't let's don't engage in partisan politics so actually what we
need now we'll get us an update on the former President Clinton's condition from our very
own Alan calter do you have an update on the president all right Alan take it away thank you
after receiving a quadruple bypass on Monday former President Clinton
is recovering nicely he's been described as being alert he began sipping liquids today
his wife Senator Hillary Clinton has been by his side throughout
this whole ordeal and it is to her I'd like to address the following remarks
hey Hillary girl
I know this has been a tough week for you but with a bub out of commission how about giving me a call
to schedule an appointment for a full body work over your worries will melt
away once you receive a transfusion of three pints of genuine Big Red
blood type up before long your own heart will be pumping furiously as you find it
impossible to bypass my sweaty passion clogged love artery you'll gasp another
worldly Delight as I inject you with 500 cc's of vitamin Coke okay okay Allen excuse me Alan
I'm sorry are you are you sure you should be saying things like that hey Dave I'm
fine you know I was just fooling around I mean what's the harm and talk oh my God oh my God oh
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I'm going to get Mr Calder in Advil