>> Stephen: HEY, EVERYBODY, WELCOME BACK.
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, MY GUEST TONIGHT IS AN ACTOR,
MUSICIAN, AND WRITER YOU KNOW FROM "HOUSE," "THE NIGHT
MANAGER," AND "VEEP."
HE HAS JUST ADAPTED AN AGATHA CHRISTIE NOVEL,
"WHY DIDN'T THEY ASK EVANS?", WHICH HE ALSO DIRECTS
AND STARS IN.
PLEASE WELCOME BACK TO THE LATE SHOW, HUGH LAURIE!
(OUTRO) >> Stephen: THERE YOU GO.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stphen: SO NICE TO YOU HAVE BACK.
>> IT'S SO GOOD TO BE BACK.
>> Stephen: WELCOME BACK TO THE STATES.
>> THANK YOU.
>> Stephen: HOW LONG WERE YOU OVER IN LONDON.
>> WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE, WELL, I HAVE LOST TRACK OF TIME.
I HAVE NO IDEA HOW LONG I WAS-- .
>> Stephen: 20, 20 WAS THE LAST TIME YOU COULD EASILY GET
BACK OVER, IT'S BEEN A COUPLE OF YEARS.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: DO YOU ENJOY BEING BACK.
>> I LOVE IT.
I ABSOLUTELY LOVE IT I HAD A VERY TOUGH TIME GETTING BACK IF.
>> Stephen: TO THE UNITED STATES.
>> YEAH.
>> Stephen: WHY.
>> GETTING IN HERE.
>> Stephen: WHY ARE WE KEEPING YOU OUT?
>> BECAUSE I HAD NEGLECTED TO OBSERVE THAT A GREEN CARD IS
EXPIRED.
I DIDN'T READ T I DIDN'T READ THE SMALL PRINT AND IT EXPIRES
AND THEN I THOUGHT OH, I BETTER GET ANOTHER ONE AND THEY SAID
YEAH, IT WILL TAKE ABOUT A WEEK.
AND THREE TO FOUR MONTHS WENT BY AND I STARTED TO PANIC ABOUT
TONIGHT, I THOUGHT I'M NOT GOING TO MAKE IT, TO SEE YOU.
>> Stephen: IS THIS THE FIRST THING ARE YOU DOING HERE IN THE
STATES.
>> JUST ABOUT.
>> Stephen: JUST ABOUT, THAT MEANS IT ISN'T.
>> NO NO I MEAN BE I DID SOME THINGS YESTERDAY S THAT OKAY.
>> Stephen: OKAY, I MEAN THERE IS NOTHING I CAN DO ABOUT IT NOW
SO I GUESS I HAVE TO SAY THAT'S FINE.
CUZ I'M THE HOST.
AND YOU'RE THE GUEST AND IT WOULD SEEM RUDE IF I GOT UPSET.
>> I AM JUST TRAMPLING.
>> Stephen: NOT AT ALL.
DID YOU HAVE A GOOD TIME ON FALTON.
EASY A GREAT GUY, A LOVE HIM, JUST WANT TO KNOW.
HOW ABOUT NEW YORK SPECIFICALLY, DO YOU LIKE THE BIG APPLE?
>> I DO.
NO, NO.
>> Stephen:S THAT OWE OKAY.
>> THAT WAS VERY RUDE FOR ME TO HESITATE.
NO, WHAT I MEAN IS I THINK NEW YORK, YOU WOULD AGREE WITH THIS
I'M SURE, THAT NEW YORK IS MORE ENJOYABLE IF YOU SEE IT WITH A
NEW YORKER.
IF YOU COME ON YOUR OWN AS I HAVE DONE AND IT FEELS, IT CAN
BE INTIMIDATING.
>> Stephen: VERY INTIMIDATING.
>> AND IT FEELS TO ME LIKE THERE ARE FIVE MILLION PEOPLE HAVE
BEEN INVITED TO A PARTY AND THAT I HAVE NOT BEEN INVITED TO.
THAT IS WHAT IT FEELS LIKE.
>> Stephen: AND THEY ARE ALL ON THEIR WAY TO IT.
>> AND THEY'RE ON THEIR WAY AND THEY'RE LATE AND SHOW ST MY
FAULT THAT THEY ARE LATE.
AND THEY'RE JUST SO FURIOUS WITH ME.
>> Stephen: AND LONDON IS NOT LIKE THAT AT ALL.
NO ONE GETS FURIOUS WHEN ARE YOU WALKING IN THE MIDDLE OF THE
SIDEWALK OR ANYTHING.
>> I DON'T THINK-- IT'S NOT MOVING AT THE SAME PACE AS NEW
YORK.
IS AND THE BUILDINGS AREN'T AS BIG.
>> Stephen: THAT'S IT.
>> SO YOU DON'T FEEL AS SMALL IN LONDON, RELATIVELY.
TO FIVE STORY BUILDINGS, THAT IS THE SCALE I'M USED TO.
YOU COME TO AN 80 STORY BUILDING AND YOU FEEL LIKE A LITTLE TINY
PERSON.
THAT REVEALS SOME WEIRD STUFF ABOUT ME, I KNOW.
>> Stephen: WE'LL GET INTO THAT IN THE NEXT SESSION.
I THINK WE MADE SOME REALLY GOOD PROGRESS TODAY AND LET'S JUST
FOLLOW THAT FEELING THE NEXT TIME WE'RE TOGETHER, OKAY?
>> ABSOLUTELY.
>> Stephen: WE HAVE TO TAKE A QUICK BREAK, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK
WITH MORE MR. HUGH LAURIE, EVERYBODY, STICK AROUND.