My very first day in Utah, guys.
This is it, my very first time.
I'm loving it.
It's so fun.
(audience cheering)
I learn more about Americans
every time I come down.
I'm from Canada.
I'm from a country called Canada.
- Yeah!
- Yeah?
OK.
Very patriotic people,
we've learned, right, Americans.
Very patriotic people, yeah, you know.
You have a bird that represents
your country.
You chose the eagle.
The American eagle,
yeah, good choice.
Canada, we chose a bird, too.
We chose the goose.
We--
(audience laughing)
You took the American eagle,
we took the Canada goose.
Now, I don't know if you knew
the reason why.
We took the Canada goose because
we slept in the day
we were picking birds, and you guys
got up early.
Eagle, woo!
USA!
(audience laughing)
We showed up like 20 minutes later.
Did you take eagle?
Aw!
(audience laughing)
I've seen an eagle in real life.
You ever seen one in real life?
They're massive birds.
They're like this tall, mean eyes,
and a proud chest, big wingspan.
Talons, talons on your bird.
My bird, flippers.
I got flippers on my guy.
(audience laughing)
Let's go swimming!
(audience laughing)
I remember seeing an eagle
for the first time.
The word that popped into my head
was "majestic."
That's a majestic-looking bird,
right?
If you've ever seen a Canada goose
up close, majestic not a word
you're going to think of.
Drunk might pop in your head, right?
Canada goose looks like he's been
on a bender for a few days.
He's got this weird stumbling
going on.
Yay!
(audience laughing)
And mean, too.
A Canada goose is mean.
You ever been attacked by
a Canada goose?
I'd love to find this out.
Utah, how many of you
have been attacked by
a Canada goose?
Let me find this out.
(laughing)
Four or five of you?
I love it.
It brings me joy.
I'm sorry.
(audience laughing)
I got attacked when I was a kid,
right?
I was walking towards one.
I was like, oh, look,
he's a Canada goose.
He's not flying away.
He's friendly.
None of them are friendly, OK?
They'll give you a warning sign
you're too close.
That warning sign?
(hissing)
Which is a sound you don't
think is going to come out
of a bird.
(hissing)
What a pretty song you sing.
(audience laughing)
But it didn't scare me.
I was like, no, I'm going to ride him.
Come here, buddy.
Come here.
So if you get too close to a Canada
goose, they go into attack mode.
If you've never seen that,
it looks like this.
So that's his head,
and that's his long neck, right?
(hissing)
If you've never been
attacked by a Canada goose
and you see his head doing this,
run.
Just run.
That's it.
(audience laughing)
This is how they attack.
What animal can do this
with its neck?
That's not right.
(audience laughing)
Some kind of snake bird?
What are you?
What is that?
(audience laughing)
Transformer Decepticon,
more than meets the eye.
(audience laughing)
And that's how they attack,
with their head bent the wrong way
and their wings back
and that beautiful Canada goose call.
It just warms our hearts
to hear that.
(goose honking)
(audience applauding)
I'm going to keep doing this
until everybody applauds.
(goose honking)
(audience applauding)
Right?
(audience cheering)
Green ooze shooting out
his back end.
That's the bird.
That's the bird my forefathers
looked at and said,
oh dibs right there.
That's the one.
(audience laughing)
You guys,
I was so nervous for the show.
Like I mentioned,
this is my first time performing
in Utah.
It's my first US comedy special
being shot.
And now I'm close to the end
of the show.
I can be honest with you,
I've been great.
I have just crushed this.
Oh, please, guys.
No, no, no.
(audience cheering)
Stop it.
Stop.
Save your standing ovation
until the end.
Don't.
You'll never look
at a Canada goose the same.
You'll see them on the news
every once in a while, too.
Yeah, you'll see the Canada goose
on the news, usually because they
flew into a jet engine.
That's their favorite thing
to do now.
(audience laughing)
The most famous story was
Captain Sully Sullenberger.
He saved the lives of all
those passengers in New York City.
He landed the plane on the Hudson
River, saved everybody, right?
I remember watching the news.
Oh, my God.
What caused the plane to make
an emergency landing in New York?
Was it terrorism?
Was it a mechanical-- oh,
a Canada goose flew in the engine.
(audience laughing)
How stupid is the Canada goose
looking at a jumbo jet flying
towards him, thinking, well,
he's going to get out of the way?
(audience laughing)
(hissing)
(goose honking)
No, he didn't.
(audience applauding)