- Heya playa.
Have you ever held yourself back from starting
a conversation in school because you were afraid
you were gonna run out of things to say?
If that's been the case for you, don't worry.
In this video I'm gonna explain exactly how you can
keep a conversation going and never ever
run out of things to say.
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Now one of the challenges with talking to someone in school
is that there's a lot going on all the time.
You're constantly running back and forth
between classes, the teacher's talking,
your friends are talking, you have things to worry about
and homework to do.
There's a lot happening so having a full in depth
conversation doesn't always seem realistic
but on the other end it might seem like
a complete waste of time to even start a conversation
with someone if it's only gonna last a minute or two
so you're kind of stuck somewhere in the middle.
How do you keep a conversation going when all you have
is these micro moments with that person?
Well I think the key strategy there is to have
one long conversation that's split up
in between each session and when it comes to
starting that conversation,
I think the first and easiest thing to jump to
is to talk about your surroundings.
What's going on in class with homework,
with your tests, with school?
Have a conversation with them about
something that's relevant to the both of you
that both of you are experiencing and going through.
Talking to them about school is definitely
an easier conversation to have because you're both there
for the same reasons so chances are
if you bring something up they're gonna find it relevant
and they are probably gonna answer you back
and you two can share a bit of a conversation
with each other.
The thing is though, asking someone how they did
on a test versus whether they finished their homework
isn't really the most personal conversation to have
so what you instead wanna do is to ask them
deeper questions about things surrounding school.
So you might follow up with something like
well what do you have planned for Christmas break
or spring break?
What are you doing for the holidays
or what are you doing this summer?
Most likely the fun things that they're doing
in their life is gonna happen outside of school
during one of these time periods
so by asking them about prom or spring break
or Christmas break or whatever it may be
they might have an interesting story to share with you.
It also presents the opportunity for you to share
your own experiences and fun things
that you have planned as well.
Now where a lot of people drop the ball here
is that they ask the question, they get an answer,
and then they never really keep it going.
They never ask deeper more engaging questions.
They kind of just respond with something like, oh cool,
or oh wow, that's really awesome and that's that.
You need to dive a little deeper into what they say.
For example, if they tell you they're going
some place cool with their family during summer break,
instead of just responding with,
oh that's really cool,
ask them more details about it.
Ask them if they've ever traveled anywhere else before
or where they would like to travel
if they had the opportunity to do so.
In fact, I'm gonna link up a video over here
where I go more in depth into asking deeper
more engaging questions but sometimes
conversations just die.
You run out of things to say on that topic
so what do you do in those moments?
One trick that I've learned over the years
is to never close a conversation with a statement,
to always close it with an open ended question
and the difference might look something like this.
With a statement, you might say something like,
wow, that's really cool that you did XYZ
and then that's that.
You don't really know how to follow up.
You don't know what to say because you've kind of
ended that thread but with an open ended question,
it might look something like this.
Wow, that's really cool that you did XYZ.
Have you ever done something like that before
or is this your first time doing that?
Adding that simple question at the end of the conversation
changes the whole dynamic.
A lot of times when people share an answer with you
and then you just kind of give them a statement response,
they feel like their answer wasn't good enough
or wasn't conversation worthy so they just kind of
don't know how to respond
but by you asking that question you're really showing them
that you care about what they have to say
and when you use these techniques in school,
it's gonna feel like you guys are vibing the entire time.
You're not just gonna have one basic conversation with them
at the beginning of the day and then awkwardly
walk by them and give them that whole little,
hey, how's it going smile thing that people do.
Instead, you're gonna have a conversation that flows
throughout the entire time that you're speaking to them
and if you bring up something that that person
mentioned in the past in the next conversation
that you have, they're gonna feel like
you're really paying attention
to the things that they're saying
and they're gonna wanna share even more with you
which is why this video over here
is gonna help you learn five questions
that you can ask to keep the conversation going.
These questions are gonna help you learn
a little more about that person so that you can ask
even deeper questions and just make that snowball
get bigger and bigger as it rolls down the hill.
So check out that video
and I'll catch you guys next time.
As always, love and peace.