- Hey, everyone, welcome back to my channel.
I'm Hannah and I talk
a lot about sex online,
and so I thought I would do a spin on this trend
that was happening last year
where people asked for their audience's assumptions
about them and then either confirmed or denied them.
And so I thought I would ask
for your sexual assumptions about me.
So anything that you think about my sex life,
my current and past relationships,
and I'm gonna do some confirming and denying.
And yes, I'm wearing little ears.
Are they a sex thing?
Who knows?
Actually, I'm filming a Depop haul after this video
which will now be live on the More Hannah channel.
And I just felt like wearing them for this video.
So I asked for your assumptions on my Instagram.
If you're not following me on Instagram,
you should really do that
and then you can get involved in the videos.
Should we just dive in?
I'm a little bit nervous about this.
I often, like, talk about sex and relationships
more broadly than my personal life.
I occasionally delve into some personal information
as in when I see fit but this is just going
to be all about my personal life,
and I'm like (nervous scream) but it's fine.
I will only share things with you
that I feel comfortable sharing.
We're just gonna kick things right off: "tit jobs".
And the answer to that is... yes.
Yes to tit jobs.
"You're not as kinky as the internet thinks you are."
First of all, how kinky does the internet think I am?
We're already making an assumption here.
But, probably in general, no.
I think I've said this before online.
I'm fairly vanilla.
At least in the grand spectrum of BDSM,
I'm definitely in the vanilla camp
but maybe on the kinkier side of vanilla.
Who knows?
"You are always the one to bring out the sex toys."
Yes.
Most of the time, in my relationships,
I've been the one to be like, "I have some sex toys."
And I introduced Dan to TENGA
who have lots of toys for penises
so that's been a good time.
"You are into pegging."
I am into the idea of pegging.
"That you've had a lot of sex
and you wanked from an early age."
I don't know what we count as a lot of sex.
I've had a fair amount of sex
but no to "wanked from an early age".
I was a late bloomer in that category
and actually talked about it with Ruby Rare
in an episode of my podcast Doing It.
Both of us had our first orgasms at like 20, 21 years old
and we talked all about how that made us feel
and what actually were the circumstances
of having that first orgasm.
So, I'd highly recommend listening to that to find out more.
"You and your partner have good communication."
Yes, I think we have great communication,
but we have been together for three years now
and, you know, it's hard work.
You have to work at it from the get-go,
and we have good communication now
because we put in the groundwork
at the beginning but, you know,
it's still difficult every now and then
that something might come up
that you, like, struggle to talk about
but I find communicating about communicating
a really good thing to do.
So, like, having this meta-communication of, like,
"Okay, how often do you want to talk about things?"
and how do you want to talk about them:
face-to-face, over email
(laughs)
Like what kind of communicator are you?
So, like, knowing that about your partner is very handy.
"You and Dan have discussed an open type relationship
and are low-key interested?"
So, we are monogamous and we have discussed it
but very much in the theory, not in practise.
Neither of us are interested in an open relationship
at the moment but one of the things that I think
is really important is leaving the space for
those kinds of conversations to be able
to happen in the future.
We're both very realistic and we know
that what we want out of a relationship
and what we need out of a relationship may change over time.
So, we've allowed the space for that topic to be brought up
so that if in, like, ten years time or whatever
one of us is like, "Ooo I kind of want
to sleep with other people."
Then it doesn't feel as daunting, fingers crossed,
to bring that up because that can be, like, a really
tricky thing if you've never had discussions about it
in your relationship before to suddenly be like,
"Oh hey partner of twenty years, I think I want to
have sex with other people."
That can be really daunting if you've never talked
about it before, so we've talked about it very much
in theory and just like,
"Hey, the dialogue door is open
if you ever want to talk about that topic."
So kind of laying a very non-judgemental groundwork
but we've both been very open about the fact
that right now, not interested in that at all.
"You still masturbate as much as you did
when single."
Before I confirm or deny this,
I would just like to say that one of
the biggest misconceptions about masturbation
is that it is spelled with an E.
It is actually spelled with a U.
So, this is not attacking this person who said this,
it is a common mistake that a lot of people make
but masturbation is mastURbation not mastERbation.
Does that make any sense?
Anyway, I probably do.
I don't really think my masturbation habits changed
all that much from being in a relationship,
but I do go through phases of masturbation, in general.
Like, sometimes it will be every day.
Sometimes, like, I'll be like,
"Oh, I've not masturbated in a few weeks... hmm."
Like, you know, it's just how I feel.
"You've had many one night stands."
Yes, I have had a fair few one night stands.
Some have been really great,
others have just bee a bit meh.
They've all been fine, don't regret them, it's all good.
"Your first time was planned."
So, it was planned in a sense
that me and my boyfriend talked about the fact
that we were ready to have sex for the first time.
But the actual time that it happened was not planned.
So, we talked about it and so we just kind of knew,
any day now just whenever the moment feels right.
And then... it happened.
I think if I'd actually planned, like,
this day at this time we're going to have sex
for the first time, that amount of pressure
I think would've freaked me out a little bit
because there were all of these expectations
whereas, like, we had the conversation,
we knew that we were ready to have sex,
and then we just kind of, like, let it happen naturally.
So like, the first few times hanging out
after we'd been like, "Yeah, we're ready."
we still didn't have sex.
It was just like, you know.
"You were scared of commitment
in your previous relationships."
So, yes, kind of.
I had a relationship that ended when I was 19
and after that, I was like a no-commitment zone
for, like, a good few years after that.
Dated a lot of people and very much what I think
of as my fear of commitment meant that none
of them really developed into anything more serious.
Or, I just didn't like them enough.
Who knows?
"You like lube."
I don't just like lube, I often need it
and there is no shame in that.
(laughs)
"Had sex with Youtubers."
So, yes, but that is no secret.
At least one of them, me and him made a video together
that is still on my channel, after we broke up,
talking about our relationship.
So, that's no secret but yes... there have been others.
"You have never been sad about breakups."
No, I've been so sad over breakups.
Specifically, the one's where it wasn't my choice.
As you would be.
Oh yeah, I have had my heart fully broken many times.
"You talk a lot during sex."
Yes, I'm a talker.
"That since you've had your ops and health problems,
your sex life has changed."
I think it has slightly.
I think my sex drive is lower,
my body confidence, it plummeted at the time
but, you know, been building it back up
so it's like in a good place now,
but yeah, it's definitely had an impact.
"I'd 100% assume that you have never had sex
with a woman sober."
And you are 100% right.
(laughs)
"Maybe you don't fall in love too easily."
I think I've been in love three times,
but I've been in infatuation countless, numerous times.
I get obsessive and I fall into
those situations far too easily.
Love, not so much.
But, holy s***, there's those infatuation one's
that screw you up the most, I swear to God.
"In the past, you have been more often the dumper
rather than the dumpee."
Great callback to the Sex Survey, that was the last video.
Yes, I more often than not have been the dumper, I believe,
but we all remember being the dumpee, most of the time.
I don't know, I feel like I'm quite evenly split
but on the edge of dumper.
"You're not afraid to tell people what you like."
Yes and no.
It depends on the person.
With Dan, my partner now, not afraid at all
because we have built that trust and that communication.
Whereas, like, if it's a new partner,
then yeah, you're always gonna be a little bit scared
at first but I find that like once you just kinda like
break down that barrier like the floodgates open
and communication can be a lot easier.
"You make the decisions, Dan makes the plans."
I don't know if this is a sex thing
but I'm just gonna take this just to mean our life
and relationship in general.
But no, I make the decisions and I make the plans.
"Judging from your story from Cameron,
I'm guessing you like having outdoor/public sex."
So, this is referring to my personalised smut story
from Cameron Moore which I read out in a mini-sode
of Doing It, which I'll make sure
is linked in the description, if anyone is curious.
So I like the idea of it, so that's why she incorporated
that into my smut story because it's like a fantasy,
but in reality, maybe not.
"Dan is your first long-term partner.
You weren't interested in settling down before."
I don't know about not interested in settling down
but I definitely wasn't interested in settling down
with any of the people that I was dating before
because, well, they didn't work out.
But, I have had long-term relationships before
but they were a long time ago.
So, I had a year-and-a-half relationship
between like 17 and 19 and then I was single
and just dating for like six years.
And now with Dan, we're together three years,
so it is my longest relationship.
"Although they are big, your tits are not
your favourite part about yourself."
True.
"You stay friend with your exes."
Oh my god, I had a realisation about this recently
because I used to be that girl who would just be like,
"I'm friends with most of my exes."
"Yeah, me and my exes stay friends."
You know, "I'm on really good terms with all of my exes."
No judgement if that's you but I'm judging myself.
But that was me for a really long time
and then I had this realisation recently of like,
"Oh, I'm not friends with any of my exes."
"None of my exes are like important people
in my life right now."
I'm on good terms with most of them.
Like, there might be the occasional Facebook message
or WhatsApp or like seeing them at parties
or social occasions and it's civil and it's fine
and, you know, but there isn't a friendship there
in the sense that I would talk to them
on a regular basis or, like, make plans
to hang out with them one-on-one.
And I was like, "I'm not friends with any of my exes."
This was a cornerstone of my identity as a "cool girl"
and now I'm not?
And I think one of the things that it has to do with is
that I am now in a long-term, serious relationship.
Like I do think that has something to do with it.
And my other theory, which is kind of related to that,
is that actually, I stayed friends with a lot of my exes,
by exes I mean ex boyfriends but also ex flings
and love interests and situation-ships, all of that stuff
like the whole umbrella of people that I dated
or was sexual with at some point.
So I realised that I stayed friends with a lot of them
and in contact with after whatever we had ended
because there was always the possibility
that it would happen again.
Like, either I still kind of fancied them
or our friendship was very flirty
or maybe they were also potentially interested
in something happening again.
Not in a sense that we would pursue it
but, like, if something were to happen, you know,
if the stars aligned and the cards were right
then something might've happened.
And it was like, I don't know, I always felt like
it was on the table.
There was, like, the sexual potential but now,
that sexual potential is gone because I'm in a relationship,
in a monogamous relationship and I'm not interested anymore.
So my theory is that my friendships with exes
was based on a potential sexual connection again.
Or, just even the idea of it, like the friendship thriving
on that space that we were holding that was like,
"Ooo, something could happen here."
But, probably not, but the friendship is thriving on that.
Like, that's what it's eating to stay alive.
There's my theory, I don't know.
And I would be interested if anyone else is kinda like me
and was always friends with exes
and then suddenly found themselves not and was like, "huh?"
and if this resonates with you.
"You're bummed," great pun, "that butt stuff
is off the table."
I am a little bit.
So, no one made this assumption about me,
I'm just gonna say it anyway.
Have never had anal sex, have never been interested in it,
but then with Dan, kind of was like,
"Ooo, maybe that would be something that I'd be into."
And then all my health stuff kicked off
and it's just like, oh.
The choice has now been taken away from me.
But I don't really see it as like a huge loss
because I was never really into it before.
But, it has taken away my ability to experiment with that.
But, whatever.
You win some, you lose some.
"You tell your partners if you don't orgasm."
Yes, I have never faked an orgasm,
and I don't know how or why I was that kind of person.
Because I started having sex when I was 16
but I didn't have an orgasm until I was 20.
So in these very formative,
often not very confident sexual years,
I was being very open and honest about the fact
that I was not having orgasms.
It did cause a lot of partners to be like,
"I will take it upon myself,
my magic penis will make you come."
And then just, like, added so much more pressure.
And I was like, "No, please."
They're like, "You are my personal project."
Which was not great.
But, yeah, never faked an orgasm.
I knew that that was a thing that a lot of people did
because that's what magazines told me
but for some reason I just never thought about
doing it myself, it just seemed counterproductive.
Okay, well thank you so much for
diving into these personal things with me.
I hope that I have satisfied some of your curiosity.
As this video is about assumptions,
I just wanted to mention the fact
that when it comes to sex,
we make a lot of assumptions about other people.
We make assumptions about what they may
or may not be into based on how they look,
their age, their sexuality, their past,
or like what we assume to be their past experiences,
and the only way you can know for sure
what someone likes, what someone is into,
what experiences someone has had is if you ask them.
So, please don't make assumptions
about your sexual partners, communicate with them,
ask them what they're into, tell them what you're into.
Communicate with your partners about
what you want out of a relationship.
You know, it's so, so important because as we have seen,
making assumptions, you know, sometimes,
you get it right, sometimes you get it really wrong.
So yeah, that's my little message to you.
Thanks for watching, please like this video.
If you enjoyed it, then I would love to hear your thoughts
on some of the things that we discussed in the comments
and make sure you subscribe and hit that notification bell.
And I'll see you in the next one.
Bye.