- How do you think your parents would react
if you brought me home as your partner?
(laughing)
- Oh my God.
Wow, I was not expecting that.
(computer mouse clicking)
- Oh, this is like the most skin deep question ever,
I feel like.
What do you think I'm hesitant to tell you?
- I don't know, you have a child?
- That's what you think I'm hesitant to tell you?
(laughing)
I would not hesitate to tell you that.
I would tell you that immediately and been like what.
- I think I would find out about your kids before you would.
- Yeah.
I don't know, is there something you're hesitant to tell me,
that you wanna break on YouTube?
- Not really, that I can think of.
- Yeah.
- Is there something you're hesitant to tell me?
- Oh.
- Is that the reverse of that?
- Yeah, no, I mean again, I don't really think
there's much that we haven't shared.
- All right, I'll do another one.
- Oh wait, that was on the form.
- What was, the hesitant one?
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Hold on, I'll answer this.
- Okay.
- Yeah, 'cause I didn't wanna leave it blank
so I really thought about it instead of doing work
at work for like an hour.
- Nice.
- I struggle with being jealous of your career sometimes.
- Of my career?
- Yeah, like your musical career, yeah.
- Whoa, that's wild.
- 'Cause you're out there doing it, you know?
- Mm hmm.
- Yeah, I mean I go to all your shows and everything
so it's like an interesting cocktail of like pride
and jealousy that brings me to tears pretty much
every time after a couple IPAs at your shows.
(laughing)
Yeah.
- Yeah, that's just so funny to me.
I feel like we've even talked about this before.
But I feel like we both want, like really want,
aspects of each other's lives, you know.
Like I don't see how anyone can be jealous
of my current situation.
- It's a grind and I know it is because you tell me about it
but, you know, just like the fulfillment.
- Yeah, that I get.
- Yeah.
- But then it's like I am super jealous
of not having to worry about how you're gonna pay your rent
or like, fuck, I got drunk this weekend
so I can't eat Monday or something,
it's just like, that, I don't want to deal with anymore
and I guess it's funny 'cause my barometer of success
is like not as much fulfillment and is more like
the security thing or like feeling comfortable
and feeling safe and feeling like you can
provide for yourself and for the people that you love.
To me that's success and to me you have that.
- So we're both measuring success in terms of things
that we feel we don't have.
- Yeah, yeah.
- That's dark.
- Some dark shit,
but at least one of us has each one of them.
- Yeah, I mean I totally live vicariously through you
whenever I see your shows.
- Yeah, and I do when I like drink your booze and food.
- And sit on my couch.
- Sit on the couch, yeah.
- Do your best impression of me.
(sighing)
- Which Dan should I do?
- Whatever you want.
(laughing)
- Let me think.
- Are there that many?
- Yeah.
No Katy, no, we're not,
we can't just go get pizza right now.
We can't just leave and go get pizza,
you wanna get pizza?
You really wanna get pizza?
All right, all right, let's go get pizza.
- I'm always down to get pizza.
- Yeah, but that's like.
- Try another one 'cause like.
- Okay.
- Interesting how the first thing that I say is Katy.
- Yeah, always.
- Yeah.
- I just love her so much.
- Again.
- And I don't, I don't know what to do
but I'm doing everything right and it's fine
but I just love her so much
and I just, I don't know, I think,
I don't know, let's get pizza or something.
Something like that.
- I guess that does take up like 90% of my life
is Katy and whether or not we're getting pizza.
- Yeah, at least when I'm around
that seems to be the conversation.
- That's fair.
- What's mine?
Do an impression of me.
- I feel like it'd be really short.
- That's good, I've done that like five times just now.
- Yeah, that's pretty much it.
Or a lot of just like, I don't know,
let's get drunk.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
My turn. - Your turn.
- This is interesting.
When you think about the first time we truly met,
what do you remember?
- I don't remember, yeah, I was three.
If you define met,
I remember the first time we met as like,
kind of like adults or friends, you know,
when we first like actually became close.
And I think you know the story.
- I like this story a lot.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
And I think it, we've talked about this
so I think you kind of feel the same way.
So I used to climb out of that second story window
and I would smoke weed and listen to music at night
when everybody was asleep.
- On that like porch roof?
- Yeah, like over the back porch.
And I got in and I looked up on your top bunk
and you weren't there and I was like oh,
I'm just gonna roll this joint in the middle
of the bedroom 'cause nobody's here.
Roll it up, go out the window,
put in my headphones and I spark it up
and I thought I was completely alone
and then I felt a hand on my shoulder very abruptly
and I almost fucking fell off the roof,
like holy shit, and you were there
doing the exact same thing.
(laughing)
You had your headphones in and you were also smoking a joint
and we were both just like are we best friends now?
- Yeah, what's up dude?
(laughing)
- And then, yeah, we just started doing that.
- Yeah, I remember, I must've been,
were we both in high school?
Or you were coming back from college?
- It's probably like a senior, freshman thing.
I think I was still,
'cause I remember we were like,
when I went to college I feel like
that had already happened.
- Yeah.
- If for some reason I lost my memory,
what's the first thing you'd tell me about us?
- Whoa.
That we talk a lot,
that we're like really close.
That you're like my best friend probably,
I would tell you that.
- That we're brothers.
- That we're brothers, probably the first one.
I would tell you to stop talking about
my little butt so much.
- That's probably the first thing I would say.
- So like you would notice that?
- Yeah.
Hey, I don't know who I am or where I am
but I also don't know where your butt is.
- Oh!
(laughing)
Yeah, so I'd tell you not to say that.
- Okay.
- Yeah, I would just fill you in.
I'd be like
there was a bunch of shit that happened in the past
but whatever, we'll cover that in little pieces but
you love to read sci-fi, you love your fiance,
you love the booze.
We'd be boozing.
- Yeah.
- I'd pour you a shot and be like you like these.
Yeah.
- I would tell you, I would probably give you a guitar
and be like you're good at this.
Hopefully you didn't forget that.
I'd probably introduce you to Julia again.
She makes you really happy.
- Yeah, that'd be cool.
- You should try and remember her.
But then, yeah, everything that you said.
Just like, you know, go out and have some experiences
and then hit me up and we'll talk about 'em
'cause that's pretty much what we do so, you know.
- That's kinda of this works so, yeah.
- Go do something, get upset about something
and then we'll talk about it.
(laughing)
- That's fair.
How am I most like you and how does that scare you?
- Hmm.
We have the same parents I guess.
- That scares you.
- Yeah, I don't know.
I mean everyone has shit that they go through growing up
and we were both there for the same shit
and I know how that's impacted me,
and we've talked about this a million times.
- Yeah.
- But, yeah, that's scary,
that you've also had to go through that and remember it
and digest it and I don't think it's something
that you ever fully digest but it's scary that,
ideally you wouldn't remember like anything.
I don't know, if we're gonna have a candid conversation,
maybe we don't tell them that we shot this video.
- Yeah, mom, do you know mom made an Instagram?
- Yeah.
- And she followed me.
- She followed me yesterday.
- And she had one follower and it was some person
from across the world that had like four followers
and like a wacky Instagram.
- Some Russian bot trying to corrupt.
- Something, it looked like a real person.
I was like who is this person?
But she'll find it.
Dad'll certainly find this.
- Yeah. - Yeah.
He like scours Twitter for everything.
- Yeah.
- But I think this is a fair question.
I think I would approach it the same way.
- I mean like personality traits, I guess.
- I think in a sense that,
and how do you think that's scary to you?
I think me and you
are the most tender or the most sensitive
about our relationship to our parents maybe,
or their relationship and their divorce or whatever.
Just the drama of that.
At least for me that's kind of like my tenderest spot
and I think you have the same spot
and I know that it makes me feel confused
and kind of frightened and terrified
and I try to hold that in and I try to
rationalize it so I think when I see you
kind of react to it,
or when I see you feel pain over it,
or scared, or just emotional and you can't really
hold it in anymore,
I think that scares me.
- 'Cause you feel like you're gonna boil over too?
- Yeah. - Yeah.
- And it's like you're my older brother
and I feel like if this is fucking him up too,
damn, where do I have to turn?
Who can I turn to kinda thing.
- It's comforting, like,
we're the only people in the world
that know what the fuck we're talking about
when we talk about that, you know?
- Yeah.
Or how it feels maybe.
- Yeah, I mean, we went through the same couple years so.
- Yeah.
- I don't know, I mean I don't like
go to therapy or anything.
I don't really know the proper way to digest
or talk through any kind of issues
but you're the only avenue for that kind of approach
to it anyway.
- Yeah.
- You know.
So, I mean that's valuable.
I stand by like ideally you wouldn't remember it
and I would just put it onto a little black brick
and hold onto it.
- That sounds healthy.
- Yeah, but I'll just die eventually, it's fine.
(laughing)
- Oh, that's good.
You definitely don't go to therapy.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Oh, okay, I think it's your turn.
- When have you seen me the most vulnerable
and what have you learned from it?
- Oh.
I'm not gonna go into detail but that Christmas,
that shitty Christmas we had was pretty bad.
- Yeah.
- I think I learned a lot about myself that night.
'cause in that.
- Make it about you I guess.
- Yeah, this is, everything is about me,
I hope you know that.
But I learned.
- You were kind of like a weird arbiter in that situation.
- Yeah.
- I didn't realize that that's what, I don't know.
- I was arbiting this very, yeah, shitty situation
and I think that I learned that, first of all,
that I was capable of doing that.
- Yeah.
- And I also learned that if I don't do this,
if I don't make sure that this does not continue
the way it's going that no-one else is going to be able to
fix this right now.
- You thought it was like a?
- It was a like a train about to drive off a cliff
and I was like I need to like rear out the train
'cause if I don't, I don't know what the fuck's gonna happen
and I was like if I start crying or if I,
if I say the wrong thing,
or if I take a side or something
then it's gonna explode.
- Yep.
- You know, you're just like the same little kid inside,
I think we all are,
and I think I saw him again in that situation
and I learned that, you know,
you have a lot of love for me, for mom, for dad,
for your entire family and at the end of the day
that's really all that you truly care about
and I think that's something that you think about a lot too
I think it's very present for you.
- Mm hmm.
I mean there was some pretty visceral,
but effective, communication that happened.
- Yeah, it just doesn't have to be volcano every time
it can be like a couple sparks here and there.
- Yeah.
I would say when you got shingles.
- Oh fuck.
Yeah that's er.
- Yeah, and I think that was directly tied to
how hard you took,
it was like, you were punishing yourself,
kind of, like emotionally.
You were so stressed out about that break-up,
the fact that you had to let somebody go
that you cared for as a person but you weren't
in love with any more.
You were just guilting yourself so hard by that
that you literally erupted sores all over your body.
- That's pretty wild.
- Yeah, so, I don't know,
it's just that made me realize,
to answer the question I guess,
like how hard you take things, you know?
- Okay, last one.
This is fitting.
If this were to be our last conversation,
what's the one thing you'd never want me to forget?
- Err, I love you.
- Okay.
I think I would say the same thing.
I wouldn't want you to forget that like
you're like my person, you know what I mean?
Like through everything.
Like we both love our significant others a lot,
and that's a different kind of love,
but like there will be no-one ever that I love
more than you, ever.
- Yeah.
- So I wouldn't want you to forget that
because I think we very much go through life together, and.
- I was thinking, we've lived in the same mile radius
your entire life.
- Yeah.
I don't think that's a coincidence.
- Yeah.
- Regardless if this is our last conversation,
which I hope it's not,
I just don't think we should ever forget that.
- Yeah, I agree.
- All right.
Let's go get drunk.
- Yeah.
(laughing)
- Hey everyone.
If you liked the conversation that was sparked
using our questions,
try it out for yourself.
We have a relationship card game deck
for every relationship in your life,
I can't hold them all 'cause we have more
than I have hands for.
So go to theskindeep.com/shop if you wanna check it out
and thanks for watching.