- You know what would be super awkward
is if they put this out here on YouTube
for the world to see,
and then they broke up like a week later.
Hmm. Falling back in love with your ex.
Good idea or bad idea?
And is it even possible?
"Mended Light".
(upbeat music)
Welcome to "Therapist Reacts Raw",
where my producer gives me a clip
that I've never seen before and I just react to it
in real time as I'm watching it.
So today we're gonna watch,
"Can two exes fall back in love with 21 questions"?
So, let's see what this is all about.
And is it a good idea,
when is it a good idea, better said,
to fall back in love
and get into a relationship with your ex?
And when is it the worst idea ever?
Let's do this.
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- [Host] It's been about two years.
After talking to your ex,
did you feel a spark again?
- I.. sorry, I'm trying to think.
(pensive music)
- Maybe.
Yeah.
(light music)
- Unusually intimate questions like
"Will they fall in love again?"
In this, in this one exercise?
That's a big ask.
I mean they can feel the spark again.
- I'm Andrea, I'm 20 and I'm a student at USC.
- My name's Melvin.
I'm 19 and I'm a student right now.
- Their loveprint is pretty close.
- [Host] How did you and your ex Andrea meet?
- Sounds a little cliche, but we met online.
- We both made Tik Toks (laughing).
We dated for like around four months.
The relationship was kind of rocky in my opinion
because we were long-distance.
- I think I brought up breaking up first,
but it also felt like
it was the right thing to do for both of us.
- We broke up through FaceTime.
I think my breakup with him
was probably the worst that I've had.
I've liked passed by him like
at parties
maybe two times at USC,
but I've never actually spoke to him
or really talked to him.
- So avoiding each other 'cause it's awkward and it hurts.
So we're bringing him back in
for the first time in a long time.
- Hi.
- How are you?
- Good.
- Nice to see you again.
- Not a lot of heat in that hug.
- My heart's racing right now but.
- Really? You nervous?
- Yeah. Pretend that you didn't hear that.
- Okay. Can I pour you some tea?
- [Andrea] Yeah.
- So do they know that that question is,
are they gonna fall back in love?
- [Andrea] Which is pretty normal
'cause we haven't seen each other in so long.
- Pretense that makes it weird.
- [Melvin] I think the last time
we had a genuine conversation
must have been at least like a year and a half ago.
So, it's been a long time.
- She does think he's sweet when he pours the tea though.
(Andrea laughs)
- [Melvin] It's not bad. - Pretty good. (laughing)
- That's actually pretty good. Good job, guys.
- They're both super, super awkward and nervous.
- Yeah.
- [Melvin] I'm gonna go first. - [Andrea] Okay.
- Excellent. What is a dream you let go of and why?
- I've always wanted to be a YouTuber.
But like obviously with my Asian parents,
they're like "Oh, you're too smart for that."
They're like, "Don't waste your life on that."
- Hey
- I feel like I've kinda like let that dream go
but maybe I still will try honestly.
- Not just Asian parents.
- Little kid, whenever my parents asked me like,
"What are you gonna be when you grow up?"
I always wanted to be like president.
(Andrea and Melvin laughing)
That was like, that was like.
- Dude, I remember you in campaign.
- Dude!
- Campaign president.
- My white dad was like, "Really, YouTube?"
He's happy for me though.
- Hoping like to be president one day.
But I don't think that's gonna happen (laughing).
- [Andrea] Yeah.
- Not, not me (laughing).
- What is the greatest accomplishment of your life?
- Dating you for four months, say it!
- I'm only 19 so hopefully
I have something like better than this in the future.
But my greatest accomplishment
would probably just be getting into some good schools
that I think my parents always wanted.
- Missed opportunity. Dating you for four months.
- Really hard. They're.
- But only if he's trying to win her back.
- They wanted, you know, me to have a better life,
so I felt like I kinda owed it to them
to work as hard.
- Fine, answer the question honestly.
- Also felt good about being able..
- That's good. It is. it's good.
- Like to my parents where it's like,
"Yeah, I appreciate what you do." So.
- Yeah, I remember you're always a hard worker
and like we both opened our USC acceptance letters together.
- Yeah.
- We were like on FaceTime.
We're like, "I got it."
And you're like, "Oh I got it too."
You're like, "No way."
- That's a core memory for you.
- No. Yeah. Core memory, honestly.
- Core memory
- Little inside out reference.
- Accomplishment was probably
like getting an internship at Google.
'Cause I was like always like pretty
I guess like self-conscious about my academic skills.
But like
- So what's beautiful about this,
even couples who are still together
would benefit from having these types of conversations.
I'm watching this and I wanna do this at home.
- Together when you got the Google scholarship.
- Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.
- And when you told me you got that, I was like,
"Oh my God!"
- Dude yeah.
- I was so proud.
I remember I texted like all my friends, I was like
- Really? Oh, I didn't know.
- My girlfriend got a Google scholarship.
Like, you know? But.
- They're starting to forget the cameras are there.
- That's really cool. Congratulations.
- Intimate conversations are key for connection.
What I like about them, whether they just become friends
or whether they get back together is it's not shallow.
There's a genuine concern there for one another's welfare
and interest, as well as just wanting to know who you are,
who the other person is
and being supportive of that for one another.
So this is, this is pretty beautiful.
- Not handle that situation well at all.
And I know I for sure like did things that hurt you
and at the time like I was just feeling like angry,
like lost you know like all that stuff.
- Oh. Awkward.
- I should have apologized earlier
and I'm sorry it took like that long.
- Yeah.
- It took like until like, you know,
- Two years (laughing).
- Yeah, it took until now.
And I'm definitely sorry about that.
You know.
- I was kinda surprised 'cause I was like,
oh I didn't think you would actually like apologize
'cause I also thought I did some things wrong
and I kind of got over most of my resentment towards him.
I guess.
- [Melvin] She definitely wanted to talk more
about our relationship after it ended.
At the time I just wasn't open to it.
- Are you apologizing now?
I didn't hear it.
- Communicate with her and work through like
- Wait wait did he say just that when I was talking?
- Good.
- And I'm like just sorry.
- That's sweet.
- Didn't do that.
- Yeah. No hard feelings.
- But yeah.
- Don't worry.
I don't realize that I do something wrong or like
I don't realize how other people might like take it
but yeah, it's like, no, of course you're good.
But yeah.
- Good.
- Yeah.
Okay.
What's your most treasured memory?
- My sister's probably the one person that I'm closest to.
This past summer we got to go to Disneyland together.
So it's like a really nice memory
and like she's someone that I'm super close to
and that I really love and appreciate.
My sister had to move away
and you kind of already know, but like
I think it was my sophomore or junior year of high school,
my sister and my future stepmom
got into a physical altercation.
Police got involved and like CPS got involved.
- Okay.
They, there's, they're vibing on each other
like the way, thee are looking at each other.
Like there's still a fire in there
and sometimes getting together with an ex
is a great idea
when you wouldn't have worked the first time
because you weren't mature enough for it.
But you are now, you know.
And I see that with them, that possibility.
I'm not saying that's what's gonna happen
I'm just saying I could see the chemistry's still there.
The desire is still there.
And I think they're both more accountable.
Though she said she had, she hurt him in some ways
and she hasn't apologized yet.
So whether on or off camera
I would hope that she would do that.
Okay. What's your most treasured memory?
- My sister's probably the one person that I'm closest to.
This past summer we got to go to Disneyland together.
So it was like a really nice memory
and she's someone that I'm super close to
and that I really love and appreciate.
My sister had to move away
and you kind of already know, but like
I think it was my sophomore
or junior year of high school,
my sister and my future stepmom
got into a physical altercation.
Police got involved and like CPS got involved.
It was just like a hard time.
- Yeah. You were going through so much at the time
for like a 17 year old.
- Yeah.
- You know. But your sister is great.
- She was amazing.
- She's cool.
I remember playing Minecraft.
- Dude yeah, we played Minecraft together during quarantine.
- That was all we could do back then.
- Yeah. Yeah.
- Okay. So, a lot of times my producers
have me react to sleazy shallow videos,
so this is actually really nice
'cause my producers are just sleazy shallow people.
(laughing)
And this is really nice
because they're genuinely, she's talking about her sister
and he remembers all these little things
like he really paid attention to
and did pay attention to who she is
and what she cares about and what and what she's about.
I'm now sad
that their relationship didn't work out the first time.
- Dude yeah. We play Minecraft together during quarantine.
- That was all we could do back then.
- Yeah, yeah.
- I think I was,
I think I was taking graduation photos with my friends.
I graduated in 2020.
Same as you.
So we both like didn't really get a real graduation.
Me and my friends decided to like
have a small group of us get together
and go take pictures in our cap and gowns.
- Yeah.
- I didn't get the ceremony
but at least I got to like see my friends
and we did the toss.
- Yeah, yeah, yeah.
I saw those pictures on Facebook. (laughing)
- Yeah. (laughing)
Oh, did I post that on Facebook?
- Facebook? What are you in your forties?
- Oh shoot.
- It's okay.
Alternate sharing something
you consider a positive characteristic of your partner.
Share a total of five items.
- But they're not partners anymore.
- Should we alternate?
So like, go like 1, 1, 1, 1?
- Yeah.
- But still.
- Okay. I think you're really smart.
- Thank you.
- I remember like when we first dated
like it was crazy how much you were doing
and I always thought wow, you're, you're gonna be set.
Like you have so much potential, but yeah.
- You're a really hard worker.
I remember when we were dating, I was like
I feel like I was always on my phone.
I'd always be like, oh, text me back. (laughing)
But then you would be like
just studying and doing your own thing.
I really want to have your work ethic. Yeah.
- Thanks.
Don't worry, it's gone worse since.
- Oh. (laughing)
- I'm just kidding.
- I really admire how you can like
handle challenges in your life.
Nothing can stop you.
So that's really awesome.
- Thank you.
- This is precious.
- I think you have,
you're cuter than I remember. (laughing)
Positive characteristic. (laughing)
- Well.
- [Melvin] Thank you.
- You're welcome.
- 18, 19 can be an important year.
He manned up.
- Oh, I'm blushing and stuff.
Another thing.
I like your smile.
- Thank you.
- It just like lights up a room.
So you're beautiful.
You know, I bet you hear that a lot, don't you?
(Andrea laughing)
- I like your smile too.
- This is awkward. (laughing)
- This is awkward.
- Oh my God.
Pause it.
Is it, is it my turn ready or? (laughing)
- Yeah, it is.
- Let's at the same time.
Ready?
- Okay. Well.
You have to pull to 3, 2, 1.
I don't know how we're. (faintly speaking and laughing).
- Okay.
Take a deep breath and look into your partner's eyes
for four minutes in silence.
- Wow.
- In silence? Okay.
- Give her the smolder.
(romantic music)
- [Andrea] It was pretty awkward. (laughing)
- Yeah. How do you do that without joking around?
It takes a, it takes a severe, not severe.
A lot of intimacy.
- I was so scared.
My heart was racing.
Yeah. Initial nervousness, but it went away pretty fast.
- Dude. (laughing)
- Oh she's vibing on him so hard.
- [Melvin] Remembered how like pretty she was.
- [Andrea] It's like kind of meeting someone new again.
Especially since like
it was so long and I was like,
"Okay, he's a different person now."
Like definitely not the same person that he was before.
He's always been a pretty good friend before too.
So yeah.
- Today it felt like maybe what happened,
happened for a reason and
it was nice to just talk to her again.
- It was I guess like comforting in a way 'cause
I haven't talked to him in a while and I was like,
"Oh, okay, we are still like,
we're definitely connected in a way
and would be good friends and yeah."
- [Host] So you now have to make a decision.
- Maybe I misread that.
Let's see what happens.
- You can either go back in if you feel like
you want to continue
exploring this relationship romantically.
Or you can leave right now
if you don't feel like there's a true romantic connection.
- Oh my gosh.
This is like if jigsaw.
- [Host] What are you gonna do?
- did a dating show.
This is emotional torture.
- No.
I invested 12 minutes of my life in this.
Get back together.
Oh, here you, okay.
I could totally see why people watch reality shows.
Don't leave them hanging.
No!
Oh!
Nailed it.
(hopeful music)
- Hi.
- I was so nervous that you weren't gonna walk in.
- [Andrea] Dude.
- I was standing here for like 10 seconds like this.
- You're like, "Oh, she's definitely."
- Yeah, she's gone.
She's already like in her car.
Cheers to that. Drink some tea to that.
- Yeah.
- [Melvin] You know, it hurt to like
not have you in my life.
So it was nice to do.
- Oh, that's sweet.
- And I'd love to get to talk to you more.
So yeah.
- It hurt to not have you on your head.
- Yeah.
- Okay, let's go.
- Aw.
A couple weeks later Melvin and Andrea went on a date.
- [Melvin] It just felt familiar almost.
Like looking at her it didn't feel like
I was looking at a completely different person.
- [Andrea] You know, like we're pretty good friends.
Like maybe in the future you never know.
- Okay. You know what'd be super awkward
is if they put this out here on YouTube
for the world to see
and then they broke up like a week later.
Is it a good idea
to get back together with your ex?
If the reasons you broke up no longer apply.
They've done the work to change,
you've done the work to change,
you've grown through them
or the reasons that you broke up apply.
But,
you could see actual effort is being made
for a sustained period of time to do things better,
to be you know, like a rebooted version of your relationship
because the original version didn't work.
And starting over fresh can't just be,
"Well we're gonna give it another try."
You have to be very specific and clear
on this is what we're doing differently.
And, but there are, there are couples who get back together
and they say, you know,
"I'm on my second marriage
and it's with the same person
but it feels like a completely different marriage
or a completely different relationship."
There are obviously plenty of other times
where you don't want to reconcile.
You broke up for a reason, but this was really sweet.
Yeah, that's my 2 cents.
So what YouTube video
or TV scene do you want me to react raw to,
just going blind?
Let us know in the comments below.
If you enjoyed this one, check out,
I'm reacting to TV breakups, not reality TV.
Just, I mean, it's all,
it's all dramatized anyways, but dramatic television,
are these breakups good or toxic?
Check out this video here.
Have you ever gotten back together with an ex?
Was that a positive or not?
And why?
Let us know in the comments below.
As always, folks keep shining.
We need your light.
I'm Jonathan Decker and I'll see you next time.