[Music] after the success of our last few crosswalk productions you know everyone's
been knocking on our door you know Hollywood Bollywood Dollywood you
know in the end though I had to turn them down because for us for this company there
was only one dragon that we truly needed to slay and that dragon its prime time
gather round I know everyone is anxious to know what we will be performing and I
guess the easiest way to tell you is how do you solve a problem like our next musical I
thought you'd get it from okay well you're my favorite thing you're my favorite thing
you're my favorite thing you're my favorite how are you not getting this
because this is our first crosswalk in primetime the network has insisted that we add some CBS
stars to the cast because apparently CBS doesn't think I'm capable of handling primetime on my own
joining us today because we have to all the way from the Big Bang Theory canal now we have Jung
Sheldon himself Ian Armitage from the hit show mom please welcome Anna Faris also from the hit
show mum and may I say Academy Award winner but not a Tony she doesn't have a Tony unlike some
of us please welcome Alison okay stop what are you wearing I am wearing the costume of Maria I don't
know who she thinks she is from day one this company has had a fair and democratic audition
process that always costs me in the lead role unfortunately I did agree to do this before I
won the Oscar there's no way I would have said yes now but if I'm doing it you got your sweet
ass I'm playing Maria will you kick us off with the yodel Yodlee no that's not good enough kick
us off you're late [Music] it's just me it means more if it's from remember if a car hits you the
show goes on all right so you you roll and you sing you roll and you sing okay so let's go I'm
sorry what are we doing yeah I'm not doing this legally procedure I'm not even allowed to be in
a crosswalk alone let alone dancing it also I'm more of a West Side Story guy I'll be sad to be
losing Ian of course we are will the show continue without him absolutely it must why am I asking
myself so many questions I don't know can I stop doing it apparently not is this exhausting totally
[Music] gather round everyone gather round now it certainly wasn't easy and
none of these decisions have been taken lightly okay I have decided
Allison Janney will be playing the role of Maria that's how you want to
do this oh that's right okay I may the best [ __ ] don't worry I'm going to [Applause]
it's at the time noise okay Alison do your best no one's expecting much okay
[Music] [Applause]
[Music]
[Applause] [Music] with Psalms they have song [Music]
[Music]
my heart wants to sing every song
[Applause]
but that was the warmup now the real show can begin your Maria
is about to arrive okay here we go [Applause]
that's given the Maria they came for
[Music] raindrops on roses and whiskers on kittens
bright copper woolen mittens brown paper packages tied up with strings these are a
few of my favorite days when the dog bites when I simply remember my face
[Music]
[Applause]
I thought I thought James did great you know I told Allison
did great they both did great you know I'm I'm terrified of them both [Music]
hi [Music]
[Music] go to throat [Music]
[Music]
[Music] [Applause]
[Music]
I'm actually kind of getting a little bit scared it's like feud you know they're like Betty Davis
and Tupac Joan Crawford yeah like Joan Crawford in Tupac I think we've settled it we've settled
it okay Johnny you tried your best you really really did your absolute best but I think we
can all agree who the definitive Maria is I shall be carrying on the show you pompous dad
you are lucky that any of us are even out here I never being spoken to like that in my entire
or somebody should have you guys are fighting over a musical and a sidewalk and it's weird
okay you are both equally fantastic Maria's all right Alison listen to me you have her sense of
strength and resilience James you have her sense of whimsy and are perfect cheekbones
apologize to each other and we can get on with it I'm sorry Alison I I think you're
amazing I do knowing you're incredible you know what I'm I'm sorry - you know I love you
I'm sorry everyone I'm sorry canal I'm sorry Anna I'm sorry all of you who aren't important
enough for me to know your names I let you all down and I don't know how I can make it up to
any of you but I do have one idea [Music] far along the way - so I need a [Music] [Applause]
[Applause]
[Music] [Applause]
let's get out there take out those guys
you know in many ways this has been cathartic for both of us you know how
do you solve a problem like James Corden and Allison Janney I'll tell you what you
do you put them in a musical together and just let the two theater rats sort it out
[Music] was I disappointed to not be involved not really but then I watched it
now I'm 100% sure still no thank you thank you for coming thank you thank you [Music]
[Music] [Applause]