- So you're not coming to your own niece's wedding?
There are simple answers to this, Mom.
I'm focused on work, I just started Game of Thrones,
I'm an independent woman.
Well, when they see my poorly tied sari,
I won't be able to defend you.
Oh, right here's perfect, thank you.
This isn't over, I gotta go.
I have a date.
- What?
A date?
Is he Indian?
- So, I'm a douchebag if I over-pronounce it,
but if I mispronounce it, I'm ignorant,
so I'm just gonna meet in the middle and mumble it.
Coka vin, cooka vin, coocoka vin?
- Cooko zin, - Cow, caoco,
- Caco en. - Choco dins.
- Two coq au vin?
- Yes, thank you.
- Merci.
- Ah, no, Josh.
- I'm sorry, I'm better than that.
How cool would it be
if I actually spoke French, though?
- Pretty cool.
That accent, though.
- Right?
So do you speak any Hindu?
- Um, well, I'm not a practicing Hindu.
- Right, of course.
I mean, I stopped speaking Spanish
when I graduated high school, so I get it.
My parents don't speak Spanish.
I'm not of Spanish he-
Do your parents speak Hindu?
Like, when me and my friends go to Cabo,
like, I hold my, well, we stay in a resort,
they speak mostly English.
(message tones)
(surreal music)
Wait, how many fucking weddings are we going to this year?
- Well, I have three.
Plus a lingerie party, plus I'm planning my own wedding.
- Well, I've got four big weddings,
including um, my first big family wedding,
since I was a huge disappointment last year.
- Cara, you came out.
It's not like you murdered someone.
- Well, three weddings, four for me.
Are you gonna bring us into the double digits?
- Yup.
Five.
And three of them are Indian, five days apiece,
so that's 15 days.
Do you know how many dance numbers
I'm gonna have to do?
- 'Nother round?
- Oh, sure.
By the way, I'm gonna be DJ'ing tonight over at Loud Bar.
You should swing by, it's gonna be lit.
- That's actually, we should go.
- No, really? - I could bring my date.
Come on, he said it's gonna be lit.
- Oh, my gosh.
(camera clicks)
- Can you turn around, look back?
Awesome.
Can I get an outfit change, please?
- Thank you, Maya.
(lighthearted music)
(message tone)
- Where does she find these guys?
(scoffs)
- Hey Maya, I think this is a little big.
- What?
- The shirt's too big.
- Oh, dude, I just take the pictures.
She's your stylist.
- Oh, shit, I'm sorry.
You guys could be sisters.
- Mhmm.
(club music)
Ugh, it's so loud in here.
- Ugh, the worst.
- Have we really have nothing better to do tonight, guys?
- Apparently not.
- So how did you guys meet?
- Oh, we met in yoga.
- Today.
- She's got a great shavasana.
- Wait, isn't that just lying down?
- Yeah, but I've been doing it since I was a baby, so.
(all chuckle)
Anyway, Maya, where do you practice?
- Oh, I don't do yoga.
- I, oh, of course.
Yeah, no, I just figured because you're Indian.
Uh, not that, not that all Indians do yoga, you know.
I am Asian and I don't like rice.
Is it hot in here?
Actually, I'm gonna get a drink.
- She just looks so terrified by her own casual racism.
- Kinda makes you feel bad for her.
- Does it?
Next time, slugger.
- 'Suuup?
(calm acoustic music)
(message tones)
(message tone)