M: hi I'm Martin J: hi I'm Jenny O: hi I'm oli
M: and today we're talking about flirting
M: do you think many people consider themselves like expert flirters? O: god I hope not!
M: have you ever met anyone you felt was a great flirter or a friend you
think you've seen been quite suave? J: I think there's a lot of people who think
they're really good but they're not actually that good. Is that mean to say? O: if you know
that they're flirting then they're probably not flirting well! J: yeah yeah I
think like I think for me sometimes I've been approached and they're just they're
like too confident and it's like great being confident like fantastic good for
you but then it gets to a point where it's just like too much and then they
just kind of become a little bit cocky but some people like that might be they
might really like that but then like for me it's more about you know I'd much
rather it be like a personal thing like just talk to me normally and like get to
know me so I don't know I think be confident definitely because obviously
that's like you know the confidence is attractive but it's just there's a limit
I think it depends on the person I think O: Yes it's definitely very individual thing
because all relationshipy stuff is J: yeah and everyone likes different traits from
from everyone so like if someone was talking to me and was being really funny
and making me laugh I find that much more attractive M: one example is like
cheesy chat up lines and stuff like that do people appreciate them do what what
what's your general feeling on them?
J:I think if someone came to me and did like a really
like cheesy chat up line but they kind of said it in a very ironic and humorous
way I just laugh at them and make a joke back and I think that would be quite a
fun like start to a conversation but
O: What if they genuinely believe the line J If they're genuinely saying it I'm a little bit concerned for them!
um I don't know I had that many cheesy chat up lines to be perfectly honest
O: and I dont know many
M:as well as things like some more light stuff like cheesy chat lines as well
there can be examples of stuff where people do seem to push the bar maybe a
little bit too far and then will send like inappropriate pictures and stuff to
other people and I guess there might be other ways you could try the perhaps
more charming like yeah okay guys on the whole I think want to there's a kind of
motivation to want to feel like quite suave I think like even if in reality
were quite clumsy or a bit awkward sometimes
J: Which I think is adorable! Because I'm also like that!
M: and there's some people find
it quite hard to flirt because they're quite shy like I don't know if anyone's
experienced anything like that or knows what they'd say to someone like that
J: yeah I mean I'm much more confident these days it's taken me a lot of time
and effort to grow my confidence just generally in life but I used to be
incredibly shy and lacking in confidence still kind of lacking in confidence I
O: I don't get it like I'm quite a shy individual when I'm not on camera talking about
stuff so at like I'd say I find it hard to flirt but again I'm I know kind of my
type and they're kind of similar to me so I guess they appreciate my kind of
awkward flirting J:as well I have tried to use it in the past I'm very much O: It's your your angle
J yeah I'm very much a person who kind of defensive humor it's that's what
I do, and so if I'm feeling a bit like nervous or awkward I'll often turn that
into a joke somehow or like make a stupid comment or like pull a
silly face and that's that's just me being me you know they need to embrace
Who I am and I'm wierd, M:so it's sort of got something to do with being yourself?
J:definitely definitely M:if someone is
really shy what would you recommend to them as a way of like saying hello or
approaching someone they were interested in J:social media is a good one if you see
a post on Facebook that they've made or Twitter or whatever it might be and you
kind of have something that you'd like to say on that you could comment it or
if you want to go one step further you shoot them a message a private message
and be like hey and I just saw this status like that's really cool Congrats
O: I appreciate you
you you've opened up a direct conversation with them and it's not just
a hey don't don't just message people saying hey O: that's hard to reply to
M:so on that thing of kind of conversation starters then what kind of things would
you look for to start a conversation J: something that they're obviously
interested in like if they if they post on Twitter about about a song that
they're really enjoying listen to at the time or something O: you could be like I also like that song
yeah if you do J: looking back on someone's you know Facebook or Instagram
or whatever to learn more about them is totally fine and it's not it's not
stalking them complimenting them but not in a in a weird way.Don't just be like you've got a great bum. Is that something people say? O: they might do
listen to them respect the personality and don't like push past the boundaries
that you think they'd like want J: yeah show an interest in them as a person
like not just you know the way they look M:and that could be a way to start
something quite special yeah and on the other hand as well let's say it doesn't
go in it that way you think J: if they kind of Express quite clearly that they're not
interested or in that way or whatever it might be yeah they might just be like no
I just really like you as a friend I value as value you as a friend let's stay
that then don't just kind of just I know it
might be really difficult and it might really upset you
but you can't force someone to be into you and that's and you don't want to be
in a relationship like that would you really want to be with someone who
doesn't actually love you like that no one wants that M:and are there any sort of
signs in people's behavior that might tell you that they're interested the
O: whole plane with the hair thing I've heard that the thing J: as well as
obviously you know things that we've mentioned before like showing an
interest continuing conversation and stuff like physical body language can
can say a lot as well if they you know it might be just like they touch your
arm or whatever it that can say a lot I think so one thing that I might do if
I'm interested in someone is I sometimes like well I won't you know necessarily
like touch them with my hand because sometimes that can be a bit not obvious
but you know I mean it's a bit like yeah but I'll just kind of like instead it'll
just kind of nudge them with my shoulder in like a playful way it's like they'll
say something funny or ne like O;Just like your personality! it's all individual and also feel like if even
it's like you might have met someone online and it's not like a physical
relationship like if they're liking your photos and stuff well that's just
interaction between you is a good starting point J: it can be really
difficult to tell and I don't think you can ever be 100% sure that someone is
definitely flirting with you because I've had people interacting with me in a
way that I thought was flirting and I was like oh my God he's flirting with me
well and then it turned out that that's just they're just a very touchy-feely
person generally and that's how they act with you know basically everyone that's
how they act with their friends O: but that's fine
J:but that's fine because you
there's someone else out there for you who really truly likes you for who you
are and that that's what you want M:so thanks for being with us again today
guys Both:thank you so much for having us M: ANd we'll see you next time!
BYE!