[Host] GCN's top ten things not to do on a bike.
- Have the dignity and the presence of mind to keep chat to a minimum when you're
pressing on up climbs. Particularly if the person next to you is having a bit of
difficulty even maintaining the tempo, let alone having a conversation discussing the
minutiae of carbon fiber lay up. Don't put your mate into oxygen debt while
expecting an answer. Leave chat to the cafe. Or at least the easy bits.
- [Dan] And don't try to have conversations with Grand Tour winners
on climbs either.
- [Man] Need more training, eh?
- Why oh why would you want one of these utter monstrosities?
- I have just bought the coolest thing. Look at it!
- What?
- Top tube bag.
- What on earth is that?
- Well it's a top tube bag. It's so practical.
- What do they add? Nothing, apart from drag, weight, and turning your bike into
the equivalent of someone wearing an unironic bum bag or fanny.
- I've got a vegan scone. I hardly hit my knees on it at all.
- Come on, let's go.
- If you want to carry stuff, use a mini saddle bag, or your pockets,
or even panniers.
- Look, black on black. And then there's... guys?
- Come on, we spend enough time attached to out mobile device these days,
surely we don't need to be answering calls after we're actually out riding. By all
means, take your cell phone with you in case of emergencies, you want to take a
selfie a beautiful area, or even to catch up briefly when you're at the cafe stop.
But, have the decency and decorum to not answer calls when you're out riding,
and chatting with your chums.
- It works, if you don't want me to come that's fine... What? What?
- Should you raise your arms in a joyous victory salute if you've not actually won
a race? We're kind of sitting on the fence on this one. We're going to throw it out
there. Is a win for a town sign or the top of a hill worthy of such celebratory
antics? Or should it be left to the confines of racing? Discuss.
It's all too easy to glance at yourself in the reflection of a shop window as you
roll through a town or city. All that shiny glass. Just checking your legs for
definition. And before you know it...
- Are you all right Matt?
- Yeah. I'm fine, yeah. The gust of wind caught the front wheel and look at this.
I'll be fine, you get yourselves off. I'll be fine.
- All right mate. As long as you're okay.
- Be careful.
- I'm just gonna stop and put my Gelee on for this descent, mate.
- Oh you do? Oh there's no need for that. We're already on the move.
- Putting on a rain cape or Gelee is a maneuver fraught with risk
at the best of times. Even for professionals who have years of
experience.
- [Alexis] Matt? Are you all right?
- Oh, hi Alexis, yeah. No no, I'm fine I just, gust of wind caught the front wheel.
- Okay, with practice this can be done on a falls-flat plateau,
or straight gradual downhill but we advise you to steer clear on the steep ones.
- Hey guys.
- Hey, Alexis, how are you doing?
- I'm good, thanks, how are you?
- I'm good, I'm good. I mean, how did you get on your races today?
- You hear these all the time out on club runs and group rides.
- Fast legs, but I went back to the car to get bottles, and I came up and I was
moving up the side, and this massive Dutch-y chick totally flicked me
to the dirt and...
- To be quite frank, the rest of us don't really want to know why you got caught on
the inside, or that you just got back on after chasing and the move when,
or they wouldn't give me a turn and then they jumped me.
- It's just missed it. I would have won. You know?
- Keep your excuses to yourself. It's just better that way.
- Hands down. It just sucks, you know? Bad luck. Can't believe it.
- Take it home with you. Or at least pop it in a bin. Gone are they days when
it was acceptable. Hold on a minute. Was it ever acceptable to throw litter?
No, we don't think so.
- I've just got to empty all this rubbish.
- Matt, it's only 50 miles till we stop. Stop complaining.
- If you're training, racing, or in a sportive, stuff those gel and bar wrappers
in your pocket. Do nature a favor.
- Here at GCN we've actually petitioned the UCI to get this foul practice banned
altogether. Well, we haven't actually. But we might at some point.
Anyway, you get how we feel about this one. And we bet most of you know a few
riders who are guilty of slowly pushing the pace, much to the irritation of your
riding mates. Don't stand for it. If you want to go hard, go hard.
Don't be stealthy and sneaky about it.
- This is a simple matter of group etiquette. We aren't talking about
spitting, per say, as this of course has to be done sometimes.
Our problem is not giving due consideration to those riding immediately
behind you, and covering them in unwanted slobber.
- Here we go. All right.
- Let's go.
- Oh, [expletive].
- I knew that was going to happen.
- Phil, please tell me you're filming this?
- So the skins really... I get allergies. It's all right. Okay.
I also have a rash. Don't worry.
- It just sucks, you know? Bad luck. Can't believe it.