The Democratic primary campaign.
When it started, it was all kumbaya.
"Let's beat Trump together."
But now it's turned into a season of Game of Thrones.
Everyone backstabbing.
The house of Bernie has grown in strength and size
while facing a challenge from the kingdom of Buttigieg.
Meanwhile, the once powerful Lord Biden
is slowly watching his influence slip away.
And don't forget.
Once they're all done fighting each other,
they will have to face off against the ultimate enemy,
the white king.
But, just like Game of Thrones,
there's one character who's been off in the wings
plotting the whole time: the imp.
You see, national polls now have billionaire Mike Bloomberg
moving into third place.
And President Trump has taken notice
of this big little threat,
and he's already trying to defeat him
in a trial by Twitter.
A Twitter war heating up between President Trump
and one of the men who wants to take his job.
The president took aim at former mayor Mike Bloomberg,
saying, "Mini Mike is a five-foot-four mass
"of dead energy who does not want to be on the debate stage
"with these professional politicians.
No boxes, please."
Bloomberg responded, writing...
(reading):
-Oh! -(cheering and applause)
Oh! Oh!
This is crazy. Two mega-rich dudes
dissing each other in the most personal way.
It would be like if a rap battle was on CNBC.
(laughter)
And the sad part... the sad part for me
is that billionaire feuds used to be so much more dignified.
You know? Yeah, back in the day, it wasn't on Twitter.
They'd be like, "Mr. Trump, I have commissioned
"a devastating opera that disparages
both you and your lineage."
Be like, "Well, Master Bloomberg,
"at this very moment, a team of artisans
"is sculpting a middle finger
"from the world's finest Italian marble.
In eight to nine months, you will be truly owned."
But right now Donald Trump
is the least of Mike Bloomberg's problems.
See, the real threat to Bloomberg's campaign
is his past.
NEWSMAN: Mike Bloomberg facing new criticism tonight
amid audio that has surfaced on the controversial policy
of stop and frisk.
NEWSWOMAN: Bloomberg is under fire tonight
after a 2015 speech surfaced where he defends
his controversial stop and frisk policy
and explained why cops are put in minority neighborhoods.
Wow.
That is not a good look, hmm? Think about it.
While Bloomberg is out there
trying to win the black vote in 2020,
he's on tape in 2015 talking about black people
like they're crime piñatas.
"Just throw them against the wall.
"See what comes out. Could be a gun.
Could be a Tootsie Roll. It's fun."
This is not a good look.
Getting caught on tape encouraging police
to arrest black people is definitely gonna hurt you
with black voters. It's the same way
you would lose white voters if a tape came out of you saying
that pets aren't the same as babies.
Yeah. All the pumpkin spice in the world
can't save you after that.
White people would be mad.
"This is my baby!"
Now, if it was just one bad audio clip,
maybe, maybe Mike Bloomberg could get past it and move on.
The problem is Mayor Mike has a long history
of defending stop-and-frisk,
and now even video clips are coming out.
And yet another video clip drops tonight,
purporting to show Mayor Mike Bloomberg discussing hot topics
with racial overtones.
They just keep saying,
"Oh, it's a 'disportionate' percentage
of a particular ethnic group."
I think we "disportionately" stop whites too much
and minorities too little.
-(groaning) -Yeah. According to Mike Bloomberg,
white people were the real victims of stop-and-frisk.
Imagine that. Black people and Latinos spent years,
years, saying that they were being harassed by the police.
And Bloomberg's response was, "I hear you.
"We have been unfair...
to white people."
It almost feels like if-if Bloomberg was Abraham Lincoln,
he would have ended slavery
but for the totally wrong reason.
Be like, "We need to end this cruel abomination.
"Too many white people are getting carpal tunnel
"in their whipping hands.
We've got to help them."
Now, since these clips came out,
Bloomberg has been facing a lot of pressure to explain himself,
and, uh, something tells me he's tru-- struggling
with, uh, how to respond.
REPORTER: Campaigning in Tennessee today,
Michael Bloomberg expressed regret
for comments from 2015
about New York City's controversial
stop-and-frisk policy.
Um...
(exhales)
(laughter)
I can safely say I've never seen
the three typing dots in real life.
(laughter)
-(applause) -Look at him.
(cheering)
You-you never see him like this.
Mike Bloomberg hasn't been this stren-- stressed
since he got into that fight in the subway.
But...
but my bad-- I shouldn't have interrupted.
I'll let him answer.
I don't think those words reflect what, um--
how I led the most diverse city in the nation.
And, uh, I apologized
for the practice and the pain that it caused.
Uh, but...
It was, uh, five years ago.
And, um, you know, it's just not the way that I think,
and it's-- that is not the way--
doesn't reflect what I do every day.
Yeah, of course it doesn't reflect what you do every day.
You're not the mayor anymore.
Nobody thinks you're stopping and frisking black people
on your personal time.
I mean, mostly because you can't reach their pockets.
But...
but, also,
it's weird that he tries to dismiss those clips
by saying it was five years ago.
Five years?
What difference is that supposed to make for you?
Huh? "Look, five years ago,
"I was just a 72-year-old man.
"I didn't know any better.
"I'm much older now,
which automatically makes you less racist."
But, clearly, the comments in those clips do reflect
what Bloomberg was doing as mayor, right,
for the simple reason that it's what he did as mayor.
You don't have to be a genius to figure this out.
As much as Bloomberg is trying to reposition himself
now that he needs the support of black voters,
he encouraged his police department
to treat black people like they were all criminals.
And even as he keeps trying to apologize,
he's never really taking responsibility for what he did.
You know? He apologizes for pieces.
"Oh, that-- Well, I ran a diverse place."
He's not saying sorry for what he actually did.
It would be like if you got caught cheating
and your apology was, "Babe, I'm so sorry.
"I'm sorry that I didn't delete those messages from my phone.
I should have hid them better."
It's like, "No, that's not..." "Yeah, no, you're right.
"You're right. I should have smashed in a hotel,
"instead of our bed. You're right, you're right.
"I mess-- I've learned my lesson.
"Yeah, yeah. Your friends are off-limits.
"From now on, strangers only, baby.
Strangers only."
AUDIENCE MEMBER: Strangers only.
-(chuckles) -(laughter)
So that's where Mike Bloomberg is now.
As much as he tries to move forward
and get out of this, reporters won't let the story go.
They keep hassling him at events,
questioning him about his motives,
just trying to find any little thing that he's done wrong.
It must be so frustrating for him.
And to that I say, Mike Bloomberg,
welcome to the world of stop-and-frisk.