A wise man doesn't love a million girls
he loves one girl in a million ways.
And so, essentially
when a man is truly in love with you
the words that he speak
will sound like music to your ears.
But I want you to recognize
the notes when they play.
And so, I’m going to lay out for you
things that he'll say
when he's deeply in love with you.
Number one is
I’m on the way.
So, what do I mean by that?
Let me start with kind of a personal story.
I remember once upon a time
when I was younger
and before I got
more wise and more into God
talking about relationships.
When I would talk about why
or the difference between
being a friend and being in a relationship
I would always use this example of
if you're my friend
and when I say friend we're just kicking it
dating, whatever.
If you're my friend and you call me at night
because you're feeling sick
and you need some medicine.
As your friend, I am not obligated
to do this for you.
I can choose to I may, I may not.
But I don't feel the obligation there.
However, when I am committed to you
and I will go even further
just being in love with you
because the reality is that sometimes as a man
you can be in love with a woman
even if you're not yet with that woman.
And when you are in love with her
there is a greater desire to now
come to her rescue.
There is a greater desire to show up
when she needs you to show up.
And yes, when you're committed to her
there's a greater need or there's a greater obligation
to be able to be her support
in those times of need.
So, essentially the him saying
I’m on my way is to basically
paint the picture of
how he is going to
want to be there for you when needed,
you're shoulder to cry on,
your superman when you need help, all right.
Because again, his love for you drives him
to want to be the man you can depend on
and he wants to show that he's reliable,
he wants to show that he's attending to your needs,
he wants to show that yes,
he's the guy that you can come to
when you have any issue.
And so, he is going to be quick to
again accommodate you.
Now listen, I always have to give
various angles, all right.
The fact that he is there for you
wants to be there for you
is going to do everything in his power
to take care of your needs
doesn't mean he's going to be perfect,
doesn't mean he's not going to have moments or days
where he simply can't.
Now, I would argue that
in days that he can't
he may still attempt to
find other ways to alleviate your burdens.
So, basically if let's say for example
you're on the side of the road
your car broke down, your tire is flat.
And he's literally in a position where
he cannot come to you right now.
Well, then he will probably still try
to get someone to come see,
to come help you out whatever the case may be.
But again, we have to keep things
in a realistic perspective.
Some scenarios just don't allow that man
to come to your rescue.
Not because he doesn't want to,
not because he isn't absolutely willing.
There are just too many barriers, okay.
So, I do think though some of you might be saying
of course we know that
well, not always.
Sometimes you can get lost in the moment
and forget the fact that he's a human being
with responsibilities, with limitations
and again, he may be unable at that moment.
So, when we are evaluating
his willingness to be there for you,
his usage of the words I’m on my way
we have to consider that okay,
is he at least someone who tends to try?
Is he for the most part
making the effort?
Or does he for the most part
shut you down in those moments you know?
Make excuses, ignore you,
not show any concern for you?
That would be a different story.
But ultimately when he is deeply in love with you
saying I’m on your way
will more than likely be in his vocabulary.
Now, the second thing he'll say when
he's deeply in love with you
and before I tell you what it is
be sure to subscribe
and subscribe to his channel
and like this video, all right.
So, the second thing he'll say is I love you.
Now, again, some of you guys might be thinking
well, of course if he's deeply in love
he'll say I love you, isn't that a no-brainer?
Not exactly.
I felt it was very important
to include this and discuss this in this video
because one, I see so many scenarios
and relationships where
women are dating men
or dealing with men that
essentially may not be using
those three words, all right
I love you.
And it's one thing if we're at the very, very
beginning of the relationship, right.
Let's say we're a couple weeks in
okay I don't think anyone's expecting
that you got to say I love you at that point.
But I am a person who doesn't believe in
time being the decider of
what's too soon and too fast.
I think there's a lot more we have to consider.
However, the point is
in time especially if you have already
expressed your love to this man
if he is still unwilling
or unable to say I love you
that's a red flag.
So, before we get deeper into the red flag
let me say this,
in the vast majority of cases
the man who is deeply in love with you
is not going to have a problem
saying I love you.
If anything, he's trying to
hold it back in the sense that
maybe he does think it's too soon,
he doesn't want to run you off
so he's holding off and trying to
measure when he can say this and it's safe, okay.
But he damn sure doesn't have
a problem saying it.
Especially after you're able to say it,
especially after you guys have been months or
officially in a relationship,
you know what I’m saying or again,
years in whatever.
He's not going to have a problem saying those words.
And when you hear about these stories
or see it or some of you are living it
where these men just don't say it
and they have every excuse in the book.
We have to consider the red flags
such as okay, is this man
truly just traumatized
and needs healing
and struggles when it comes to
being expressive in that way?
That is possible.
I don't want to rule it out, right.
However, we cannot allow that
to be a scapegoat in the sense that
okay, fine if that's the reason why
you're yet to say it
I can understand your struggle
but then we got to work on that.
Because the reality is that
if you are in the relationship
and he is unable to express these words
in due time if not already
it's going to start to make you feel insecure.
It's going to create
unsettled feeling in this relationship
and you're going to also feel confused about
where does he truly stand?
And I know we always say well,
actions speak louder than words.
They speak louder
but they should be accompanied
by words as well.
Like, if the man can show you the action
but can't say the words
it's still a problem
and if he can say the words
and doesn't show the actions
then it's definitely a problem.
So, they got to go hand in hand
in order for us to validate or be able to
say with confidence okay, this man
does truly love you.
So, another thing to consider in
and this is another extension
of the damage, all right.
Because I've heard this before
I've seen some men
and when I say see I mean
I've even coached some where
their struggle to say I love you,
their struggle to even
make the relationship official
stems from this experience of once they did that
everything went downhill, all right.
Now, I would argue
that it wasn't those words specifically alone
that made it go downhill.
It was probably those words
plus other things on top of that we can
discuss further but...
And just to shed some light on it
essentially maybe him becoming so
emotionally needy in the relationship,
him becoming emotionally stable
you know, him not understanding how to
handle his love for this woman.
That probably played a bigger role
than just the words
but, but I will co-sign and say
some men have legitly
experienced the words itself
causing the woman to be scared,
causing the woman to be unsettled.
So, now again,
is this an excuse to just not say it?
No, it's an explanation and
we understand it or we should
try to understand it
but we have to work to correct it.
Because again, those words
are very, very important
and they need to be said in the relationship.
If anything I would argue
they need to be practiced.
Now, I also want to mention because though
I’m speaking on this whole
when he's deeply in love with you
mainly from the angle of
someone who's already engaged with you,
but possibly in a relationship or at least
dating you,
please understand that some of these things
can apply as well to men who are
not with you yet.
They might be your friend,
they might be a male friend,
they might be an associate that you know
that is madly in love
and you don't understand the extent
of his feelings, all right.
And so, these things that are said by a man
who's in love with you, you...
If you start to see this in a man
who you're not with
you might want to if you're interested,
you might want to explore
you know what I’m saying what's going on here
because I would say that yes,
they lean towards
he has feelings for you, all right.
But to get back to the point
the words I love you are
definitely words that a man
that's in love with you will say
but again, there's been so much
confusion surrounding
this issue because of people who are
dealing with situations where
people struggle.
Now, another aspect I want to add
to this I love you thing, all right.
And I will admit
I've seen this happen more with women
but it can happen with men too.
Be mindful of when people
twist the wordings
in a way that it doesn't hit the same.
What I mean by that is
some people rather than say
I love you, they'll say you are loved.
(Laughs)
Rather than say I miss you,
you are missed.
Now, here's the thing that may sound like
that's not a big deal what's the issue there?
No , you got to understand what's happening
on a deeper level here.
It's almost like they can't own the emotion.
Saying I love you, I miss you
owns it, all right.
Owns it and fully embraces it.
Saying you are loved,
you are missed
it's like this way of trying to give you those words
but they're not really again,
they're not owning it.
Now, the reason why they're not owning it
it could stem from because they
just don't really love you
or it could be their struggle to be expressive
and to be vulnerable in that way.
But I bring it up simply because
if you start to notice that
where they don't use those words
that own the statement
you've got to go deeper and look into okay,
what's going on here?
Just don't think oh, okay,
no big deal one word
in the phrase doesn't make a big difference.
No, it does, it can, it definitely can.
So, I love you again definitely
something that he will say when he deeply loves you.
All right, so now that brings me to the next thing
he will say when he deeply loves you
is that you are his girlfriend
or his wife
or that simply it is official, all right.
So, what am I getting at here?
I’m getting and I kind of touched on it
in the previous point.
The man who's deeply in love with you
and again, let's just focus on this one is
strictly on the guy who you have been dating,
you have been seeing, all right.
When he deeply loves you
he has no problem putting a label
on the relationship, all right
or making it completely official.
Now, it's important you understand this
and it's important that
you hear those words
come out of his mouth, okay.
Because I cannot tell you
how many situations I have seen
and dealt with where
women have come to the assumption
that this man is their boyfriend,
that this is their man that
everything is official,
but the man never spoke those words
and then somewhere along the line in the relationship
when she brings that up...
Like or tries to hold him accountable
to what a boyfriend should be held accountable to
he's like who told you I was your boyfriend?
I never agreed to that,
I never told you that.
And to you, it's like we've been kissing and hugging
we do all these boyfriend girlfriend things
I met your parents, you know.
But I didn't tell you, you were my girl
I didn't tell you, you were my woman.
So, you've got to be mindful
I’m going to give one perfect example that
a colleague just kind of told me about where
an individual they knew
they were dating a guy
or they met a guy they started dating
and they met from online dating, all right.
And so, they meet in person,
everything's moving along let's say we're a month in.
A month in he tells her well,
I’m not... I deleted my profile
I’m not seeing anyone else
you're the only girl I’m seeing, okay.
She comes back to my colleague and
she says oh, yeah, we're in an official relationship.
He's like what do you mean?
Like did he tell you?
She's like no he said
he's not seeing anyone else
he deleted his profile.
That doesn't mean that
and she ended up finding out that,
that's exactly the case.
That did not mean
we are in an official relationship
it meant exactly what he said.
I’m not seeing anyone else
that does not mean I am
officially 100% committed to you
in the sense that I will not entertain anyone else.
I know that seems really confusing, right.
But this is why you've got to get the words.
The words of it is official, you're my girl
I threw in you're my wife in there
because if it moves on to marriage, right
he's willing to introduce you in that matter.
So, that's the other thing to consider here.
When you guys are in that relationship
he is going to introduce you
as the title that you are like
there are many people who have experienced
being introduced to others as
this is my friend.
Like, we're supposed to be in a committed relationship
and they said this is my friend
when they introduce.
Now listen, when I laugh
if any of you all going through this
I am not laughing at you, all right
I’m just, it's just crazy situations to me, okay.
But I feel your pain, I understand your pain.
But the reality is that yes, this happens
and so again, pay attention to stuff like that.
The guy who loves you,
the guy who's serious about you
he's not going to have a problem
putting that label on you.
He's not going to have a problem telling people
this is my woman, this is my girl,
this is my wife, this is whatever,
you know what I’m saying.
He is going to honor you in that way.
And not just argue in that way
it's almost like he wants to show you off
in that way like he wants the world to know
yeah, she's with me
you know and if he's not doing that then
no, you can't tell me the man's in love with you
and he's unwilling to
properly present you to the world
you know I’m saying.
And properly label
what's going on in that situation.
So again, be very, very mindful of that.