Someone wrote in saying, "I don't find my
partner
physically attractive anymore, what
should I do?"
I'm Paul Friedman, I founded The Marriage
Foundation and you could write in to us
too. Go to themarriagefoundation.org,
click on "Ask a Counselor" maybe we'll use
your question for one of these videos.
But more importantly, it's a free service
someone will get back to you with a good
answer.
Oftentimes referring you to
one of our books or you could take a
course for men or a course for women
which will
really help you and always
we suggest you subscribe to this channel
so you can learn about marriage the
right way.
We're not western psychology oriented. We
don't believe in making
excuses for things. We believe you have
free will and there's always something
that you can do.
And primarily, our focus is on healing
the marriage
and that way these issues don't come up.
In your case,
when you don't find your partner
physically attractive,
it usually has much more to do
with how you're feeling about them as a
person
and it then transfers over
to how you are seeing them physically
ad this really doesn't matter.
I mean maybe they gained weight,
maybe they lost an arm in an accident.
It doesn't matter because in marriage
the whole idea of marriage is to connect
at the level
of love which transcends
all of the physical stuff, all of it.
What does that mean? You get married
in order to experience marital love,
don't you,
which is unconditional love. We don't
really talk about that in our society
and I don't blame the educators in our
society because they don't know either.
But if you think about it, you got
married in order to feel
unconditional love such an important
thing for us as human beings.
It's vital. It's not just that would be
nice, it's
vital. So when you don't
learn about it naturally, you don't learn
how to do it which means
you're not learning about how your mind
works.
You're not learning about the
interrelationship
between the heart which is you, the soul,
your body and your mind. And so,
it would be very difficult in a short
video to explain
exactly why you're not feeling this
physical attraction anymore but I assure
you
that if you focus on learning how to
love your spouse,
how to connect with them, how to
appreciate them,
their physical appearance will change
without it changing
but you will see it differently. The
power of the mind
is amazing. Unfortunately,
the mind is mysterious to most of us
and if not mysterious, absolutely
confusing
because of how western psychology has
gone off on all these intellectual
tangents.
And even say that love
is an abstract thought, just an emotion
but it's not. You get married
to have love, to have happiness.
You should expect it but you shouldn't
expect it if you don't know how to get
it
so please learn how.
Take the time. Make the effort
and you will be so happy that you did.
Thank you for watching this video! Like
it, leave a comment if you'd like.
You could see in the comments section of
many of the videos, I respond
to those where the question is good.
I even laugh at some of the comments
that I get. I
think some people have just the greatest
sense of humor.
So again, thank you for spending time
with me! God bless and take care!