I'm already great at lying. Watch. I am so wearing pants right now.
Bose, are you not wearing pants right now?
Not important. But what is important is that I’m taking Schwoz’s Hey Horn!
I’m not gonna jump for it. I know you want me to jump for it,
but I am a man of science and I am not going to…
[laughing]
- I hate to see it. - Give me back my Hey Horn!
This is not a drill! Captain the Man says get your uniforms on right now! Go!
Go! Go! It’s crime fighting time! For real!
I finally get to hurt someone!
- Are you wearing a shirt for pants? - Yes!
- Give it to me! - It’s mine! It’s mine!
I do not know what to do? I have literally forgotten all of my training!
Get off me!
Why’d you guys steal a goat anyway?
This isn’t just any old goat. This goat can say 'butt'.
- It’s worth millions. - Yeah.
- Goats can say 'butt'. - Butt.
Okay that thing should be president.
- Hey. Hey! - Captain Man?
- We’re up here. - Bose, what are you doing?
- Will you guys get down here? - We can’t!
- What happened? - We got stuck in the wall on
- the way back! - That can happen?
I have just learned that it can!
Are you just going back around and running out over and over again?
Check, check. Sweetie, I smuggled 75 outfits into this prison,
and you’re gonna see every last one of ‘em!
[groaning]
- I got the Toddler. - What? You got the Toddler?
- Do I get a treat? - You need milk!
That's not the Toddler, that's just a toddler.
Why are you so scary?
- A boy stole my cell phone - So buy another one!
No! If your best friend got stolen, would you just buy another one?
Yes! My best friend moved to Dystopia, so I bought four new ones.
Aw, love you, man.
We'll get there.
For the princess!
Oh! My brother!
My knitting.
It's OK. I've always wanted to fly.
OK look, they didn't steal all the books. They left like 10 copies of that one.
Hey, what book is that?
Uh, it is...
Oh my God.
- Is that you on the cover? - Yes.
- And they left it there? - Yes.
- All ten copies? - Yes.
They literally stole every book in the library except yours?
Someone's gonna fry tonight!
- Yes! - I'm hit!
Ah, I forgot about Ray.
Ray no longer exists.
He's been rehatched as Hawk Fist.
Ca-caw!
So, you know anything about all those books
that got stolen from the Swellview Library?
Stealing books? No, that's too evil for me.
I'm just trying to flood a Children's hospital.
Why not just flood the whole town?
- What? - Yeah, what?
I'm just saying, you want to be evil, blow up the Swellview dam.
You'll flood the whole town.
- No, I don't think that's-- - OK, that is fantastic.
- You're welcome. - I like you.
I like me too.
You are going places, evil little girl.
Maybe I'm already there.
Stop trying to eat the paintbrush.
But it looks like frosting.
So what do we do with him?
I have ideas.
Please don't.
- I'll do anything. - Settle down, buddy.
You're gonna be here for 32 Cap-ters, an epilogue, an alt-ending,
and a whole section at the end where I teach you how to draw
a cartoon version of me.
No, no, no, no! Please, please, please!
But first, the introduction.
Written by me.
No!
Sorry I'm late. I couldn't find my hoodie.
Hey, I have that same hoodie!
And that same hair.
- You packed all our traveling weapons? - Yeah.
- You get little sizzler? - Of course.
- The smoke wagon? - In there.
- The mean wheel? - Trick question.
There is no weapon called the mean wheel.
Oh, OK Chapa.
I got a mean wheel right here.
You show it to a bad guy and when he sees all the mean faces on it,
he's like, "Put that away, that's so mean!"
♪ When I say "Yee" you say "Haw" ♪
- Yee! - Haw!
- Yee! - Yee.. I mean haw.
♪ When I say "Yee" you say "Haw" ♪
Yee-haw... haw...
Freeze!
Oh, freeze, like he's cold. Aw, that's good.
Alright, take the bread, you've earned it.
- No! - That's stealing.
He's getting away!
I guess it works.
- Play along. - Nope, not doing it.
- Come on! - You're in Paris.
Give in to the whimsy.
Whimsy! Whimsy!
- Whimsy! - Oh, she's moving!
- Whimsy! - Oh, she's playing along!
- Whimsy! Whimsy! - There we go!
[cheering]
Man, I told you this guy was good.
That's it, case closed. He's getting the bread.
He's not getting the bread.
Why do we want to keep the bread? The bread's gross.
Hold up. What's happening?
- Uh, is this still part of his act? - Yeah, let him do it.
I thought the whole thing with mimes is they only pretend to do real things.
No, the things with mimes is they make invisible honey.
Again, bees.
- Hey, where's Mika? - Who?
- Mika. - Nah, never heard of her.
She's your sister. Now where is she?
I'll tell you where I'm not: my bedroom.
Why?
Because someone had a gas leak of his own there earlier today.
Look, it started in the hall and followed me in!
You may never go back there again.
Meow! We've got...
One person watching and it's my teacher.
I see him, so you can stop commenting.
Stop commenting. I see you, stop commenting.
[groaning]
How good are you at dancing?
Are you kidding?
I'm amazing.
And how good are you at teaching people to dance?
Well, I'm amazing.
- And how good are you at-- - OK.
The answer to any question about me is I'm amazing.
Established.