Is Daniel Bryan getting a new heel faction? Half of NXT debut on the main roster! And
Nia Jax gets RKO’d FROM OUTTA MALE/FEMALE EQUALITY!
I’m Oli Davis, let me know what you thought of the show in the comments down below because
I’ll be replying to people FROM OUTTA NOWHERE and vote in the poll above my head, where
you can choose from: Best of Both Worlds, Great Per View, Thumbs in the Middle, Meh
Per View and Worst of Both Worlds. While I review Royal Rumble 2019.
After Daniel Bryan cut a promo on a burger, presumably for being so god damn delicious
...Drake Maverick booked an impromptu non-title match between
Raw tag champions Chad Gable and Bobby Roode, and the Frankenteam of Scott Dawson from the
Revival, and Razor of AOP. Presumably because we didn’t have enough matches on the card
already. That was sarcastic. As much as I enjoyed this
show, and I really did, my broken record is still playing: WWE pay-per-views are way too
long. Speaking of broken records, Raw’s tag division
is still an afterthought, where Gable and Roode won a nothing match.
Shinsuke Nakamura and Rusev had a much better showing, even with the camera cutting to Lana
every other move. Because’s there’s foreshadowing, and then there’s FORESHADOWING!
If you hadn’t guessed already, Lana played into the finish when the Bulgarian Brute accidentally
knocked her off the apron, letting Nakamura hit a Kinshasa to the back of his head and
become the new United States Champion. Or was he already the United States champion?
I can’t remember. They haven’t been on TV that much.
Buddy Murphy retained his Cruiserweight title in a thrilling four way, pinning Hideo Itami
for the win [12]. There were a series of brilliantly inventive spots, mostly around ...dives. I
just went it went five minutes longer.
It was also on the pre-show where Jonathan Coachman made the shock reveal that John Cena
won’t be in the Royal Rumble match due to injury. THANKS FOR THE MEDICAL UPDATE, COACHMAN!
Which is a work, Cena’s actually shooting a movie, and WWE knew all along he’d never
be available for the match, but continued to promote him until the show itself. Classy
move.
The main card kicked off with Becky Lynch, Asuka, and a row of terrifying CGI Baby Masks.
We are your demonic overlords now, Arizona. I much prefer pyro because a) these graphics
are going to look horribly dated in just a few minutes, and 2) the crowd can actually
see pyro. Thankfully, they had an in-the-flesh Becky
to pop them instead, who fought a terrifically fiery back and forth match with Asuka. Everytime
Lynch would briefly be on top, Asuka would somehow lock in a submission - leading to
her finally MEGA EVOLVING her Asuka Lock by adding bridging over Lynch’s head, forcing
Becky to tap. I’ve got nothing against Asuka winning here,
but Lynch should’ve passed out in the hold instead, as that’s more fitting with her
never-give-up fighting character.
Despite being initially hesitant in forming a tag team with The Miz, Shane McMahon went
straight for Sheamus as soon as the bell rung, unloading a series of horrible looking punches,
reminding everyone that he is, indeed, a 49 year old untrained wrestler.
They then told the story of 49 year old untrained wrestler Shane saving 16 years of experience
wrestler The Miz from being worked over. That said, this was a fun match, with great
spot where Cesaro caught McMahon’s Coast to Coast in an extended Swing and a spectacular
Shooting Shane press for the win. The two celebrated with Miz’s real-life
dad at ringside, telling the story that the former WWE Champion and WrestleMania main
eventer was only now getting his father’s pride on winning the SmackDown tag belts.
But move aside, Miz Dad - because I’m far more proud of the SWAFT Nation, who got a
SWAFT sign right in Miz and Shane’s celebration shot, confusing fans everywhere.
It’s Boss Tim- SHUT UP MICHAEL COLE .
It’s also crazy Ronda pay-per-view make-up time.
Ronda and Sasha had an intense, violent brawl, with Banks crucially getting a lot of offence.
Rousey’s selling of her submissions was so good in spots, it helped you believe in
the idea Sasha could win. A one-armed, hulking Ronda beat her with a
Piper’s Pit in the end though, where the two eventually shook hands. But as Banks walked
away, she held up the Four Horsewomen signal, hinting things aren’t over between Ronda
and the Sasha, Bayley, Becky and Charlotte faction that haven’t ever been recognised
as a faction, and most of them are often feuding with each other. What’s going on?
The Women’s Royal Rumble match topped off a run of excellent showings for the lady division,
with this year’s focus on the current and next generation talent far surpassing 2018’s
reliance on nostalgic cameos and Bellas… Bellas everywhere.
There wasn’t a returning Legend in sight, not even a Lita, with the closest being an
odd showdown between Divas Era hangovers Alicia Fox and Maria Kanellis.
But it was nowhere near as odd as Zelina Vega hiding under the ring, to be scared off by
a sudden Hornswoggle appearance next to her. Hornswoggle by name, Horny Swoggle by nature.
I’m surprised it wasn’t Otis Dozovic. The best spots included Zelina Vega and Candice
LeRae’s staredown, recalling their great Almas vs Gargano feud, and a load of fantastically
inventive near-elimination spots from Kacy Catanzaro and Ember Moon, with Naomi’s barricade
run and leap being the most impressive. But the true genius was in the finish. My
heart was broken when I remembered Mixed Match Challenge was a thing that happened in this
timeline, meaning Carmella would come out at No. 30, not Becky Lynch.
But it was all a brilliant swerve. With No. 29 Lana hobbling to the ring after her ankle
injury in the Rusev vs Nakamura pre-show match, Fit Finlay let Lynch take her spot for the
Irish. It all fittingly came down to Becky vs Charlotte,
whose blood and title feuds have really levelled up the SmackDown women’s division, which
Lynch eventually overcame, despite wrestling earlier on and Nia Jax taking out her leg.
The Man wins the Women’s Royal Rumble. Wait, what?
It came at the expense of the most anticipated match on the card, though. The Women’s Rumble
was a tough act to follow, and while the story of Daniel Bryan targeting AJ’s arm vs Styles
taking out Bryan’s leg was solid, its slower pace never connected with the crowd the way
these two guys should. It wasn’t much helped by the strange angle
that played into the finish - Big Red Erick Rowan, who returned from injury by cosplaying
as Daniel Bryan, and then chokeslammed AJ after a ref bump for Bryan to get the win.
The idea of Bryan leading an eco-warrior faction Straight Edge Society-style is very exciting.
But it also comes with a lot of disheartening questions: was that limp chokeslam really
devastating enough to see off AJ? Why not have the much more talented and popular Luke
Harper in this spot? And does that mean the Bludgeon Brothers have been scrapped? The
concept is good, but the execution lacked impact.
Brock Lesnar vs Finn Balor succeeded in every way, though. No Demon Balor aside - because,
let’s be honest, Brock Lesnar for the Universal Championship is big, but it’s not Baron
Corbin at SummerSlam big. What are the rules? What are the rules? - this was one of the
rare matches where Brock not only cared, he sold.
Lesnar never stopped clutching the top of his leg after ramming it into the announcer’s
desk, letting Balor use his speed to get on top. Brock’s selling was so good - very
similar to Rousey’s, in fact - that you bought into the idea that Finn could win.
But even a Coup De Grace wasn’t enough, as Brock desperately locked in a Kimura to
made Finn tap - the type of victory he had over Bryan and AJ before, where he won in
a decisive fashion, but you really believed he was in trouble.
Brock gave Balor three Germans and an F5 afterwards. Which could be to set up a rematch, or, more
likely… he’s just Lesnar being a dick.
Just like the Women’s Rumble, the Men’s match was focused on the present and future,
with only two Legends spots who were eliminated early - the brilliantly placed Jeff Jarrett
entry with Elias, and an underused run from Kurt Angle.
The first two thirds of the match were really elevated by the SmackDown roster - Samoa Joe
choking out everyone, Kofi Kingston walking around outside on his hands, and an amazing
babyface run from Mustafa Ali, who not only eliminated his Tuesday night nemesis Joe,
but also Nakamura - potentially setting up a very exciting US championship program, if
that title’s ever allowed back on TV. Most intriguing were the NXT debuts though,
with Aleister Black, Pete Dunne and Johnny Gargano teasing some future dream matches.
Like Dunne vs Black, Dunne vs Joe, Dunne vs Ali, Dunne vs Drew, Dunne vs Andrade! Dunne
Dunne Dunne! Gargano and Dunne are most likely cameos,
soon to return to their NXT and NXT UK promotions, but Black not only lost at TakeOver, he’s
also been rumoured for a full main roster call-up for months, and eliminated Dean Ambrose
here - possibly setting up his first feud. And he’s not the only person potentially
moving into a new roster… ...as Nia Jax beat up R-Truth at No. 30 and
took his place in the Men’s Royal Rumble. That sounds crazy. It was crazy. I mean, is
that legal? Fit Finlay wasn’t there to give it the ok. Does that mean a man can enter
the Women’s Royal Rumble? What are the rules, what are the rules?
But as insane as Nia Jax entering the men’s Royal Rumble was, it was inspired. One of
the biggest heels in the company, who had legit knocked out our top babyface Becky in
November, and then kayfabe tried to injure her in the earlier women’s Rumble match,
ended up getting RKO’d and 619’d from Randy Orton and Rey Mysterio. We got to see
a woman get beaten up by guys because she deserved it… which sounds awful out of context
of a wrestling show. The final two came down to Braun Strowman
and Seth Rollins, who, in honour of his Shield brother Roman Reigns, spent the last 10 minutes
doing nothing after being put through a table. After a great-looking curbstomp on the apron,
Seth won the opportunity... to point at the WrestleMania sign.
The show was way too long, and the most anticipated match in AJ vs Bryan disappointed, but overall
this was a tremendously enjoyable pay-per-view. Dare I say, I was even more sports entertained
than NXT TakeOver the previous night. Royal Rumble 2019 is the Best of Both Worlds.
The only downside is Luke and I coming joint last in WrestleTalk’s Fantasy Predictions
League. Head over to Patreon now to suggest and vote on which wrestling entrance theme
we should do a duet cover of. I’m not saying you should make it The Greatest Love I’ve
Ever Known. But do that.
Click the Patreon link onscreen to make your punishment suggestions now, where you’ll
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I’ve been Oli Davis, and that was wrestling.