- Now, something I've always believed
is that if you love someone, you don't cheat.
And if you do want to cheat,
then you need to set that person free
before you go off and see other people.
Sounds simple, right?
Unfortunately, a lot of people get this (beep) wrong.
So if you've always wanted to know
why it is that some people break
this very simple cardinal rule, in my eyes,
and they go ahead and cheat,
then you're in the right place, keep watching.
(musical boom)
Hey, there, Adam LoDolce from sexyconfidence.com,
where I help you create your love story.
And in this video right now,
we're gonna be talking all about why it is that men cheat.
Now, to be fair, by the way,
a decent amount of women also cheat as well,
so let's not put men totally in the (beep) doghouse.
Still, unfortunately, statistically,
more men than women cheat.
According to the General Social Survey,
20% of men have cheated while just 13% of women have.
And unfortunately, also age matters.
The older men get, the more likely they are to cheat.
But the question is, why do men feel the need
to cheat at any age?
Here are 10 excuses that a lot of guys use.
Number one, they want to get out of the relationship
in the first place.
Some guys just aren't good at confrontation,
and they may be happy in their relationship,
but they just don't know how to be able
to muster up the courage to have that real conversation
about ending it.
So instead, they go ahead and sleep with some floozy
and end up sabotaging the relationship.
And in some cases, they actually want to get caught,
because the moment they're caught,
then they're gonna get dumped,
and then they are free to be able to have sex
with many more floozies.
If you've ever felt like you had this happen to you,
I wanna hear it from you in the comments below.
Number two, is they don't appreciate what they already have.
It's the old grass is always greener on the other side
of the fence syndrome.
Man sees other women, and they think, man,
if only I was with her, then I'd finally be happy.
And then they end up with her,
and the they end up looking elsewhere,
they think, oh, if I would only have her,
I'd be better, and then they cheat, and then they have her,
and then they are just going through their life
absolutely freaking miserable
thinking that everyone else is going to make them happy.
And in reality, it's probably because
they just hate themselves.
So if you're ever with a guy and he overlooks you,
and he overlooks what they have in front of you,
just realize that it's him, it's not you.
You need to realize that you're an amazing person,
you bring a lot to the relationship.
If he's not appreciating you, screw him.
Go find someone who does.
Number three is that they believe cheating
makes them more of a man.
I have no idea where this misguided idea comes from
and what horrible parenting it comes from,
but there are some guys out there who think
that cheating is actually like a good thing to brag about.
Number four, they do it because they just
have low self-esteem.
I mean, who doesn't like feeling attractive.
When a woman flirts with, or shows interest in a man
with very low self esteem,
he may feel so good that he just acts on it
because finally he's getting that validation
that he may no longer get at home.
A guy with high self-esteem realizes
that, you know, he brings a lot to the table,
and he doesn't need that constant external validation
to tell him so.
Number five, they're just bored with what they have at home.
I see this a lot with couples who've been married
or been together for a very long period of time,
and it's a reality that, you know,
relationships change and things do get
certainly stale at times,
and what's most important is putting in that time
and that energy to reignite that spark on a regular basis.
I know it's not hard, like, look,
me and Jess have lived together for the past
two and a half years.
We've been together for four years.
You have to put in effort, you have to put in time,
but it's so worth that effort and it's so worth that time.
You don't wanna let a relationship get stale.
And if a guy uses that lame excuse,
like, oh it's just bored at home,
and we don't have a spark anymore,
then you know what, that's on him as well.
If he felt that strongly that there wasn't spark at home
that he needs to go ahead and cheat,
then you know what, he put his energy in the wrong place.
He should've put it back in the relationship
to reignite that spark in the relationship.
Do something interesting, take you somewhere new,
take you to a new restaurant, buy you some lingerie,
and you know what, you can very quickly go from boredom
to like that incredible spark that you first had
when you first met.
It just takes a little effort.
Number six is they actually believe
that they deserve to cheat.
In a similar way that you think that you deserve
a glass of wine after going to yoga,
some men think that they deserve
to have their cake and eat it, too.
In other words, they believe that if they're
in a serious relationship, that they still deserve
to have a side piece.
This is just (beep ) up.
Number seven is they're just narcissistic.
Unfortunately, narcissists can be incredibly
charming people and they can really draw you in.
But the obvious downside of a narcissist
is that they are always out for number one.
They tend to believe that they're superior
to everyone and that the normal rules
just don't apply to them.
Which makes them very prone to cheating.
Number eight, he's just not built for monogamy.
Now, I'm the first to admit that monogamy
is not the natural order of things.
Think about it, cavemen with cave women
would go ahead and spread their seed wide and far
to populate the world.
There was no like couple for life concept back then.
But as we humans evolved and have become more stable
with reliable food sources and shelter,
people began to pair up, finding basically
that emotional support in having a partner.
So while you might assume that everyone
wants to find one magical person,
the fact is not everyone is cut out for monogamy.
Believe it or not, one in five single people
have been in an open relationship before.
That being said, there is a difference
between being in an open relationship and cheating.
In the former, both partners are fully aware
that the other people may date or have sex
with other people.
It's totally consensual.
Whereas in the latter, he just is going off
and doing it, which means he's lying
and he's going behind your back.
Big no no.
Number nine is that they actually think
they can get away with it.
Let me ask you, if you found a wallet filled with money
in the middle of the desert and no one was around,
would you take it?
For some guys, it's the simple fact
that they can cheat and get away with it
that compels them to actually go ahead and do it.
If there are no consequences, why not?
A man who cheats does it because he isn't
a man with morals.
If you're looking for someone to spend
the rest of your life with, you want one
who does just the right thing by you.
Who factors in your feelings when making decisions,
and really thinks about these before he makes
any decisions that are gonna impact both of you.
Number 10, which I would argue is one of the worst
and most cynical of 'em all,
is that they actually like the thrill of it.
Cheating is illicit.
It's like that forbidden fruit that you can't have,
that you finally have.
And some people actually get off at that.
I don't personally get that.
That seems like a whole lot of stress
that would not be very fun.
So let me ask you, have you ever been cheated on?
I know this is kind of a hard topic to talk about,
but this is an amazing community of women
who all come together and share your stories below.
You can even just give a simple yes or no,
or be able to share a little bit about your story,
and what it is that you learned from that experience.
Leave that comment below if you've ever experienced that.
And also if you enjoyed this video,
please give it a like on YouTube
and don't forget to subscribe on YouTube.
And finally, if you want more videos
and articles that are gonna help you through
every single stage of dating, relationships,
and finding love, head on over to sexyconfidence.com,
where you can click that link right over there
to be able to join the Sexy Confidence club membership,
where you can get a whole library of videos
that are going to help you through this entire process.
Thank you so much for watching,
and I will speak to you, you sexy single lady,
next week, bye bye.