(upbeat music)
- [Narrator] D.E.R.P.
- What up, guys?
Alright, our guest today has specifically asked
for some intro music.
So let's go ahead and play that.
And, (upbeat music) give it up for Darth Vader, yeah.
Ha ha.
- This is not the intro music we agreed on.
What is this, circus music?
- Nope. - You have failed me
me for the last time.
- Alright, nice to have you.
What are you famous for?
- Are you serious?
- Yeah. - You've never
heard of me, Darth Vader?
- No.
(heavy breathing)
Let's get started here.
The sooner we start, the sooner it'll be over.
- The sooner you and I can rule the galaxy top
as father and son.
- What?
Okay, okay, so as you can see
I'm kind of controlling this hand here.
- Yes, yes.
- I'm trying to start - You are.
- the game, but it's--
- Your hand control is impressive.
- Yeah, it's very hard. - Most impressive.
- Very hard.
- Pick up the phone,Todd.
Use your hand.
- I'm trying this game is--
- Your training is almost complete.
- Here, you try it.
This game is hard.
- I will control this game without my hands.
- Wow, you actually are. - You see that Todd, yes.
This is the power, Todd, that you could wield.
The power of the dark side of the force.
- Whoa, I could do that?
- You could do this, Todd.
Look at me move that mouse
into those disks.
So which is your favorite Star Wars movie?
- Well, my favorite would have to be
the only one I've seen.
- Yes.
- Which is the first one.
- Ah, yes, A New Hope.
- Oh no--
- Yes, a good choice, a classic choice.
- No no, I've seen-- - The beginning of the series.
- I've seen The Phantom Menace
- What?!
- Yeah, that's the first - What?!
- Star Wars movie
- That is not the first.
That came out in 1999.
- Yeah, but it's episode one.
- Yeah, it's a prequel.
It's a prequel.
- I thought it was pretty cool.
Jar Jar Binks is hilarious, man!
- Jar Jar?
I murdered Jar Jar Binks as soon as shooting was wrapped.
- Oh no, I hope you didn't.
I thought he was funny.
- I crushed his Gungan throat with my mind.
- Oh, man. Meesa Jar Jar Binks.
- Oh, stop it. (laughs)
- Todd, stop it.
That's embarrassing.
- Every time he'd add a syllable to a word,
I'd just lose it.
- Todd, you're embarrassing yourself.
- Meesa Jar Jar Binks.
- It's kind of racist, Todd.
- Meesa Jar Jar. - Stop it, Todd.
- Oh, man. - I'm embarrassed.
- I'm embarrassed to call you son right now.
- Oh, that's fine because I got a dad.
(heavy breathing)
So, you seem like a pretty evil dude, right?
- I am consumed with the power of the dark side.
- I mean that's pretty cool.
I have an evil streak, myself. - Yes.
Yes, I sense it.
- Ha ha ha
- I sense your darkness.
- Yup.
My sister was asleep the other day.
- Yes.
- I put a caterpillar up her nose.
- That's pretty dark.
- Yeah man.
- But you could be so much darker, Todd.
- Oh yeah?
- Yes, soon we will put caterpillars
up the nose of the entire galaxy.
- Whoa, that would be sweet.
- Yeah!
Todd, the force is strong within you.
- Yeah?
- I can feel it, Todd.
- Whoa
- Yes, your midichlorian count is very high.
You can do things like this.
(choking)
- Whoa!
Whoa!
- Yes, Todd.
(gasping)
Now you try.
Do me, Todd.
- You want me to--
- Do me.
- Choke you from across the room?
- Yes, use the power.
Give in to the dark side.
Give in to your hate.
Are you doing it?
- I guess it just kind of tickled.
Did you feel a tickle on your throat?
- My throat felt scratchy for a moment.
- I bet that was it!
- Yes, Todd.
Take my lightsaber, Todd.
Take it and wield it as a dark jedi.
- Whoa.
- Yes.
Whoa, Todd, be careful!
- Whoa!
- Stop!
- This is great!
- Jeez Todd, you're going to (screams).
I'm going to lose an eye.
Be careful, Todd.
It's not a toy.
Give it back.
So, what's happening on the screen here?
- Oh, yeah, I mean--
- We've got a hypodermic needle.
- Yeah, well, I mean it's surgery, dude.
- You're just leaving the saw on his chest.
- Yeah, well, I don't know.
You don't really get points if you are safe or anything, so.
- It does not appear that this doctor
has full control of his limbs.
- No, that's like the primary thing.
- Oh no!
- Oh!
- Another patient lost.
- That's too bad.
- Surgery--
Oh no!
(groans)
- It's really not a big deal.
It's a video game, man.
- You win some, you lose some.
- Surgery!
- Yeah, it's a dangerous game, surgery.
- Yeah.
But it is nothing compared to the power of the dark side.
- Yeah, yeah.
Okay, I'm going to hit your outro music here.
And play.
(playful upbeat music)
- Yup, I think we all saw that coming.
- Alright, see ya Darth.
See you guys.
Thanks for watching.
- Okay, let's take a look at what we got today
on the old video game system here.
Justin, I am on the road and I'm driving.
This is--
trying to stay in my lane, you know?
- You know, you can drive wherever you want.
- Well, I'm trying to observe the rules of the road.
- It's a game, Obama.
- What state is this in, by the way, Justin?
What state are we playing in?
- It doesn't matter.