The Supreme Court.
The only people who have more control
over your life than Jeff Bezos.
For decades now, Ruth Bader Ginsburg was the cornerstone
of the court's liberal block.
But over the weekend,
Donald Trump nominated Amy Coney Barrett as her replacement.
And it looks like having three names is the only thing
she and her predecessor have in common.
NEWSWOMAN: 37 days out from election day,
the president selecting Judge Amy Coney Barrett to fill
the seat vacated by the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg.
NEWSMAN: At age 48, Amy Coney Barrett would become
the youngest member of the Supreme Court.
A native of New Orleans, she went to college in Tennessee,
and graduated from law school at Notre Dame,
where she taught law for 15 years,
and is a devout Catholic.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Barrett, a former clerk
for Justice Antonin Scalia,
could reshape the court for decades to come,
pushing it further to the right.
NEWSMAN 2: In 2003, she suggested
that a key Supreme Court decision
upholding Roe v. Wade and a right to abortion,
was wrongly decided.
NEWSMAN 3: If she's confirmed, the court would be more likely
to uphold efforts by the states to restrict access to abortion,
and the court would probably be more likely
to broaden the reach of gun rights.
If she's confirmed by the time
the Supreme Court hears a make-or-break challenge
to Obamacare in mid-November, she might be inclined
to rule for the red states challenging the law.
She's been critical
of the court's 2012 ruling upholding it.
That's right, people.
Trump's nominee to replace R.B.G.
could help overturn Roe v. Wade,
kill Obamacare and expand gun rights.
So that means some day in the future, a fetus can shoot you,
and you won't have insurance to pay the hospital bills.
This is like Mike Pence's wet dream,
if he was allowed to have them, of course.
But what's really shocking about these issues is
how out of touch the Supreme Court could be
from the country at large.
I mean, 63% of Americans want Roe v. Wade kept in place.
56% support Obamacare.
And 64% support stricter gun laws.
I guess this is what the Founding Fathers always wanted,
you know, a branch of government that would act
like an evil stepparent for the rest of the country.
(British accent): Please, ma'am, may I have some health care?
No! Now go to your room and play with your AR-15!
(crying): Wah!
(imitating rapid gunfire): Pah-pah, pah-pah-pah!
And those are just some of the issues she'll rule on
in the next couple of years, because keep in mind,
Barrett is only 48 years old,
so she'll be sitting on the bench for decades,
which is really bad news for liberals
and really bad news for her.
I mean, sitting on a bench for decades with no seat cushions.
That's gonna get uncomfortable.
Oh, is that not what... how it works?
They've got, like... Ah.
Now, usually, confirming a Supreme Court nominee
can take up to three months.
You need time to vet the nominee,
you need time to hold hearings,
and you need time to take them to the mall
for their glamour shoes.
But since the election is just five weeks away,
Republicans are putting the process on fast forward.
And based on the schedule that they've put forward,
they are gonna vote to confirm Amy Coney Barrett
just days before the election.
And you almost have to appreciate how ballsy this is.
I mean, this is the same party that went from,
"You can't confirm a Supreme Court justice
during the same year as an election."
And now they're practically confirming someone
on election day.
It's a complex legislative maneuver
known as the "shrug emoji."
And you know, I wouldn't mind Republicans doing a complete 180
on this if every now and again,
they flipped on a different belief, you know?
Like how poor people don't deserve to live.
You know, do a 180 on that one! Spice things up!
And right now, Democrats don't have a lot of options
to stop the nominee.
In fact, Joe Biden has resorted to appealing
to Republicans' sense of decency and urging them
to vote against filling the seat right before the election.
But I'm going to be honest.
Republicans are not giving off a strong decency vibe right now.
NEWSWOMAN: From Notorious R.G.B.
to Notorious A.C.B.
The Republican grassroots fundraising group WinRed
is now offering limited edition T-shirts
referring to President Trump's new Supreme Court nominee,
Amy Coney Barrett, as the "Notorious A.C.B."
The shirt is a play on the late Justice Ruth Bader Ginsburg,
who was often referred to as the "Notorious R.B.G."
This shirt comes one week after Ginsburg's passing.
Ah, yes. Nothing says class and decency
like mocking a deceased Supreme Court justice
by stealing her nickname.
Not only is this insulting to R.B.G.'s legacy.
It's insulting to rap, because there's no way
Amy Coney Barrett even knows who Biggie Smalls is.
I bet if you asked her, she'd probably think
you were taking measurements for her robe fitting.
In fact, Amy Coney Barrett is the exact opposite of R.B.G.
So, technically, she should be Tupac.
I mean, if you're going to do it, do it right.
Those should be thug pro-life T-shirts, you dumbasses.
Actually, that's a good idea. Don't-don't give them that.
But guess what?
Two can play at this game, conservatives.
You steal a liberal's nickname,
then I'm gonna steal a conservative's nickname.
From now on, I'm gonna go by Ted Cruz's moniker.
That's right. You can call me
Trevor "if Wolverine was addicted to fudge" Noah.
Of course, if I was Trump,
I would also be rushing to fill the Supreme Court seat.
And not just because it's important, but also because
it takes attention away from the coronavirus,
which is still rampaging through the country.
In fact, after dropping during the summer,
corona cases are now on the rise again in 21 states.
But apparently, for the governor of Florida,
that sounds like party time.
NEWSWOMAN: The Orlando Sentinel reports
coronavirus infections in Florida have topped 700,000
as the state reopens businesses.
The governor lifted all restrictions
on restaurants, bars, clubs and other businesses
in the state on Friday in a move to reopen the economy.
Under the order, local leaders cannot fine people
for failing to wear a mask in public.
Florida is third in the nation for Covid-19 inflections.
NEWSWOMAN 2: Governor Ron DeSantis says
he's willing to consider a college bill of rights
so college students can socialize
and participate in activities
without worrying about getting thrown out of school.
He wouldn't say whether it will be done
through an executive order, but the announcement he made
after Florida State University announced that it will suspend
any student who attends or hosts large gatherings
on or off campus.
Wow.
Ron DeSantis is not messing around.
While other states are out here gingerly trying
to figure out how to safely open around coronavirus,
this guy has just declared
that Florida ain't quarantining for shit!
In a weird way, I kind of get where he's coming from, guys.
I mean, there are times that I've just wanted to say,
"You know what? Forget the masks. Forget being safe!"
I miss being coughed on by strangers in the subway.
But then I remember that people are still dying
from coronavirus all the time,
and that brings me back to my senses.
But, oh, man, if you ignore those people dying,
boy, then it's a party, baby!
But then you remember, then you're sad.
(laughing): But if you don't remember...
And I know... I know that some of you right now will say,
"Is it really a good idea for the state with the most deaths
"over the past week to say,
'No masks, no restrictions, no nothing'?"
But guys,
when has Florida ever been about good ideas?
This is the state that legally defined tank tops as black tie.
Good ideas is not their thing.
But I will say, even for Florida,
I'm surprised that they think a pandemic is the time
to fight for college kids' right to do a keg stand.
I mean, if there was ever a college game that seems like
it was invented by coronavirus, it would be keg stands.
Crazy idea, guys, but what if we all, like, took turns
putting our mouths on the same tap over and over again?
That would be fun, right?