Through multiple political campaigns and a historic inauguration ceremony, Kamala Harris
and Doug Emhoff still look at each other like they're the only person in the world. Here's
the truth about Harris and Emhoff's marriage.
Before she was a candidate in the Democratic presidential primary, Kamala Harris was a
senator from California. As a member of the Senate Intelligence Committee, Harris had
gone viral a number of times for her hard line of questioning. And she certainly brought
that fire to the campaign and the debate stage, scoring a standout moment when she went toe-to-toe
with none other than Joe Biden over the issue of school busing.
"I will tell you that on this subject, it cannot be an intellectual debate among democrats,
we have to take it seriously, we have to act swiftly."
But Harris ultimately decided, after garnering poorer primary performances than expected,
to drop out of the presidential race — and Doug Emhoff was right by her side as she did
so. Emhoff told Marie Claire in an interview,
"She made that decision, and I would have supported whatever she decided. I'm her husband.
And so my role was to be there for her, to love her, to have her back, to talk it through,
to help her.”
Harris is such a steadfast politician, but we can only imagine how heavy the decision
was to make. Luckily she had Emhoff in her corner.
As Emhoff revealed to Marie Claire, he and Kamala Harris got together after being set
up on a blind date by their mutual friend, Chrisette Hudlin. Hudlin and Harris had been
friends for a long time, and Hudlin met Emhoff through a work connection in 2013. Hudlin
said,
"I was looking at him as more of a lawyer, but by the end of the meeting I was just liking
him as a person."
Hudlin also added that Emhoff thought Harris was, quote, "really hot," after having briefly
met her at a lawyer's event.
"He was complimenting her, and at the same time he was admiring her, and I liked that."
As Emhoff tells it, he sent Harris a very nervous "just saying hi!" text, and the rest
is history.
According to The Washington Post, Emhoff had plans to pop the question when he and Harris
were vacationing in Florence, Italy in March 2014, but he jumped the gun and proposed when
they were packing for the trip.
Harris wrote in her memoir, The Truths We Hold, that she really didn't know what was
happening until Emhoff said, "I want to spend my life with you," and immediately started
crying. Harris wrote,
"These were not graceful Hollywood tears streaming down a glistening cheek. No, I'm talking about
snorting and grunting, with mascara smudging my face."
As noted by Marie Claire, the two were married in August 2014.
We've all been told this: don't Google the person you're meeting for a date. Or maybe
do it — stay alert out there, ladies! Kamala Harris clearly wanted to know what she was
getting into, because she revealed while being interviewed on CBS Sunday Morning that she
Googled Doug Emhoff before she met him, much to his surprise.
"This is a reveal!"
“I've never been asked that. I did!"
From a Google search, Harris learned that Emhoff was a prominent entertainment lawyer
in Southern California, and it's safe to assume that he didn't have to Google her to find
out who she was.
Weddings can be a huge affair, but it seems like that was exactly the opposite of what
Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff wanted, because their wedding was small, low-key, and attended
by just a handful of people.
As noted by The Sacramento Bee in August 2014, Harris and Emhoff held the ceremony at the
courthouse in Santa Barbara, a small beachside city located about 100 miles north of Los
Angeles. Harris, who was California's attorney general at the time, kept things even had
her sister, Maya Harris, officiate the ceremony.
The wedding came pretty quickly, too; Harris and Emhoff were only engaged for five months
and the tight-knit feel of the wedding went hand in hand with their timeline.
Commitment might scare some people, especially early on in a relationship. However, Doug
Emhoff was ready to give Kamala Harris his all, even when their relationship was just
starting out. Harris wrote in her memoir, The Truths We Hold, that the morning after
their very first date, she woke up to an email from Emhoff, listing the upcoming dates and
times that he'd be available. She noted that along with the calendar, he included a message,
"I'm too old to play games or hide the ball. I really like you, and I want to see if we
can make this work."
Clearly the two shared something special early on, because it worked. Since that very first
date, Emhoff has been right by Harris' side throughout her political campaigns. Good thing
Emhoff made his intentions known right off the bat.
Emhoff started things off with a text message, then the two messaged back and forth about
basketball for a second, and the next morning, he called her. In an interview with CBS Sunday
Morning, Emhoff revealed that he called and left a "ridiculous voicemail."
That was all the way back in 2014, and to this day, Harris has that voicemail saved
on her phone. And, here's the kicker: she plays it back to him every year on their anniversary.
"I thought I'd never hear from her again."
Harris responded,
"But it was just, it was adorable. The thing about Doug is that he is exactly who he is.
He's just fully authentic and clear about the things he cares about. And it's family,
it's his work… And me."
Being the spouse of a congressperson doesn't sound like the easiest job in the world — there's
the balance of being supportive, managing your own life and career, and the pressure
of being in the spotlight. And for Doug Emhoff, there also came the stigma of being the husband
of a powerful woman. He revealed to CBS Sunday Morning that when Kamala Harris was elected
to the Senate, he discovered what being a political plus-one was like, and relied on
other Senate spouses for guidance.
"There were Senate spouses who welcomed me. And I went to some, you know, lunches and
events."
Additionally, when asked if there were "misters" in the group, Emhoff pointed to his mentors.
"Amy Klobuchar's husband, Elizabeth Warren's husband, who kinda put their, you know, arms
around me to show me the ropes. There're very few husbands that are Senate spouses. They
do find each other."
It's pretty clear to anyone remotely paying attention that Kamala Harris and Doug Emhoff
only have eyes for each other. They got married in 2014 and still act as in love as ever.
If anyone knows how much, it's Emhoff's kids, and Harris' step kids, Cole and Ella. In an
interview with The New York Times, Cole and Ella dished about their father and step-mom
and just how committed they are to each other.
Cole said that as a couple, Emhoff and Harris behave towards each other based on the setting.
But for the most part, they're inseparable. Cole admitted,
"Doug and Kamala together are like almost vomit-inducingly cute and coupley. I'm like,
When is this going to wear off?"
Ella added,
"It's so insane. It's like the honeymoon phase forever. Like, the rest of the world gets
to see it on social media, but we live that.
Divorce is never fun to navigate, and it often results in bad feelings and harbored resentment.
But surprisingly, that wasn't the case for Doug Emhoff and his ex-wife, Kerstin Emhoff;
she told Marie Claire that she's been in Doug's corner, rooting for his success with Kamala
Harris, since day one.
"When [Doug and Kamala] first started dating and [Kamala] was [attorney general of California],
I just thought, 'Wow, that's cool. Don't mess this up!'"
Kerstin added yet another layer of support for her ex-husband and Harris later down the
line by volunteering her professionalism and creative eye to Harris during her presidential
bid. According to Kerstin, the campaign staff was super surprised.
"They were like, 'The ex-wife wants to do what?'"
But according to Kerstin and Doug's son, Cole Emhoff, it wasn't a surprising move on her
part at all.
Kamala Harris was sworn into office as California's senator in 2017 by none other than then-Vice-President
Joe Biden, with her husband, Doug Emhoff, in attendance. But he didn't just watch her
take the oath — he stood next to her, holding the Bible that she placed her hand on while
swearing in. Harris said after being sworn in,
"I intend to fight for our state and all our families. I've got your back."
As for Harris herself, Emhoff has had her back.
According to People, Emhoff reprised his role from 2017 and joined Harris on the stage of
the Capitol as she took the oath of office, becoming the United States' first female vice
president. Emhoff took a stand next to her, and held the Bible as she placed her hand
on it.
So what do these two do to relieve the pressures of their careers? They cook. In an interview
with CBS Sunday Morning, Harris revealed that cooking keeps them grounded and allows them
to spend time together, although Emhoff is only the "sous chef." Emhoff said that he
learned to cook during quarantine out of "necessity," but it's become a big part of his life.
Harris, of course, now has a much bigger role in politics and won't find as much time to
join Emhoff for their nightly meals, but she's determined to continue their tradition of
Sunday family dinners.
"It's too much a part of our family life. And that's important to me, to keep that stability."
It's amazing what you can teach your partner, but what you can really learn from them as
well. That has been the case for Doug Emhoff, who revealed that his marriage to Kamala Harris
has taught him so much about his own inherent privilege.
Emhoff, who is a white man of Jewish heritage, told Marie Claire that everyday actions like
going through airport customs, or interacting with security and law enforcement are incredibly
easy for him, an aspect of his life that Harris has highlighted.
"She'll say, 'You realize that wouldn't have happened if you weren't a white dude?'"
Emhoff continued by sharing that he'd always seen himself as a progressive and very open-minded
person, but his marriage to Harris allowed him to open his eyes to aspects of his privilege
that he hadn't identified.
"It's great to be with her because she has such a great perspective and she's certainly
not shy about expressing [it]."
If one thing is clear about Doug Emhoff, it's that he's Kamala Harris' biggest fan. Throughout
her political career, he's been by her side at campaign events, debates, swearing-in ceremonies,
and everything in between. But it's through his social media activity that Emhoff's dedication
to his wife really shines. In one post, Emhoff shared a photo of him and Kamala, his arms
wrapped around her shoulders with the caption, "So proud of you," just after the results
of the 2020 presidential race had been confirmed.
Digging a little deeper into Emhoff's Instagram, however, shows the best kind of spouse support
possibly ever. He shared a photo of himself while in the Las Vegas, Nevada airport holding
up a Time magazine cover with Harris on it, with the caption, "Look who I ran into at
the airport." On another occasion, Emhoff posted a photo of himself standing next to
a cardboard cutout of Harris with the caption,
"We are both on the road so I’ll have to make due with this. Miss you @kamalaharris!"
The caption was accompanied by a red heart emoticon. How sweet!
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