-Our next guest is an acclaimed,
New York Times
His children's book,
Please welcome back to the show our friend, David Sedaris.
♪♪
Welcome, David. How are you? -Fantastic.
-Now, one of the things you said to me
is we would not be able to do the interview
without me asking about your shoes, and that is true.
-Aren't they? I don't know if you can see.
-That's -- So there's just two. -On the top.
-Yeah. I mean, that is something else.
-Well, it's like I have a deformity of the foot.
That's what it looks like.
And they're so -- like when you examine them, they just look --
there's something scientific, like they belong in -- you know,
in one of those sad exhibits. -Yeah.
Like those very old exhibits of, like, medical, yeah.
-People who somehow lived. That's what they look like.
-And when you saw those shoes,
did you know right away, "I must have them?"
-Oh, yeah. And there's another pair
that's one pair stacked on the other.
But these were more challenging.
That's what I liked about these. -How is the walking around?
Do you feel like it's hindering? -It's not that hard.
-Okay. -I want to -- Someone came up
to me and said, "I want to see your footprint in the sand."
And I thought, well, I do too. You know how that would look?
-[ Laughs ] Congratulations. -But they're not that hard.
-You've obviously written many books.
This is your first children's book.
-Yeah. I'm the only author who didn't think he could write --
wasn't interested in writing children's books.
-You had no interest in doing it?
-None. -What tipped you into the idea of writing one?
-Someone who I respect asked me to.
And she was doing a a project of putting writers
together with illustrators.
And so she put me together with Ian Falconer,
who had done the
-Before he did
he did the sets for a play of mine,
and so we just always liked each other.
And so he was going to do the pictures.
So I thought, okay, yeah, but I don't --
I don't know anything about children's books.
I mean, I don't have children
just so I don't have to read them.
Like, I don't.
And I got to say, maybe it sounds bad --
it took me five minutes to write that thing.
I just thought -- [ Laughter ]
I just thought -- I don't think kids --
you know, they could be nice and stuff,
but I don't think they're that bright, you know?
I mean, so I thought -- I thought, well,
it can't be that hard. This is what I thought.
-And then after you did it,
would you say it was harder than you thought or exactly as easy?
-Yeah, it's exactly as easy.
But then, you know, people have asked like,
oh, did your parents read to you as children?
I was talking about it with my sister, Amy.
Our parents put us to bed with two words --
"Shut up." And then they closed the door.
They never, ever read a book to us.
But half of the people in my family are huge readers.
-That's the thing that's shocking to me.
You and your sister, Amy, just strike me as,
I don't know, just, like, incredibly well read
and brilliant writers. And it's so shocking to me.
This disproves every book about parenting that would say,
"You need to read your kids to make them readers," but that --
So what was it that you think drew you to reading?
If your kid -- if your parents started every bedtime
with "shut up?"
-I didn't have a TV.
I mean, when I got out of -- I went to college,
I didn't have a TV,
and then after college, I didn't have a TV.
So I think that had a lot to do with it.
I just started writing when I was 20
because I didn't have a TV. -All right.
Well, this is a heartbreaking news
for you watching at home right now.
-And there are like, I don't know, 27 words.
There are more words on a hotel key
than there are in that book.
-Now, I wrote a children's book.
And, you know, I think, like a lot of children's books,
I tried to have a message behind it.
Is there a message to your book?
-None. I think --
I think it must be so exhausting, though,
to be a child. And everywhere you turn,
someone's trying to shove a lesson down your throat.
Wouldn't you just be exhausted? And obviously they don't work.
Look around. Right? Like look around.
-Right. Because these are all -- basically this
is a country run by adults
who also read books with messages and none of them took.
-Yeah. No. -That's a very fair point.
This is about a monster who's born with a pretty face
and is very upset about it.
-Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
-And would you say, in my summary,
I've now used more words than are actually in the book?
-Yeah, yeah. -But were you worried --
because there is a moment where the monster's solution
is to reach into their mouth and pull their head inside out
to make themselves look like a monster again.
So this is just a sense of what the monster is doing.
And now, were you concerned that this might be a photo
that was would be distressing to children?
-No, not a bit. Not a bit.
-You weren't worried at all.
And when you first got Ian's art back, where did you ever --
Did you say more grotesque,
or were you happy with his first pass?
-No, I mean, he was such a master,
I would never -- I mean, it's always such a mistake
when you're working with somebody
and you try to tell them what to do
when they're so good at their job.
So, yeah, we just left each other alone.
-The illustrator for my book, Rob -- that's the hard job.
Writing a kid's book, so easy.
Illustrating it -- there's no shortcuts to illustrating it.
So shout out to the illustrators.
-Yeah. Yeah.
I mean, the sad thing is that Ian died last year,
and I still have to split the royalties with him.
[ Laughter ]
-You know what?
-I've been doing this ten years.
That might be the most off guard I've been caught.
[ Laughter ]
Have you gotten any feedback?
I mean, you obviously have friends with kids.
If anybody reached out to say whether they like it or not?
-A goddaughter's mother wrote to say
that Betty just wants to read the book again
and again and again. -That's great. Does that --
I mean, I know you don't think kids are that bright,
but do you still take -- does that positive feedback matter?
-Well, I mean, that's the reader.
I mean, that's so interesting, though.
I've never had like someone who really can't read be my reader.
-Right. -But --
-We've talked about how you've always, uh,
taken great advantage of the opportunity
to write inscriptions
that are maybe different than what other authors would write
when people come to your readings and things like that.
Have you been able to inscribe any books for children yet?
-I have only signed four copies of that book,
but the book's called
and so I thought on the full title page
I should work the words "pretty ugly" into.
So somebody on the staff here just asked me to sign
a book to their children, to their child.
And so I wrote, like, "Dear Rebecca,
I hear things can get pretty ugly at your house
when your parents get into the liquor cabinet."
-I like that both because they'll, like,
think their parents are alcoholics,
and even worse, like, the word's getting out.
Like people that don't even know her family are hearing this.
Your sister, Amy,
who's one of our favorite guests on this show, is backstage.
That's very lovely that she's here to support you.
Has she -- Does she come out when you're doing readings?
Does she come to the shows?
-Uh, every now and then, you know,
when I'm doing a show in the area.
Um, and then we were just together in --
We went to Paris. Um, she came to Paris.
She hadn't been there in a long time.
So she came in January
and we went to a couple of fashion shows.
It was exciting. -Did you have a good time?
-Oh, yeah. We had a great time.
-Well, you're two of our favorites,
and it is just a delight to have you here.
Thank you so much. -Oh, thank you so much.
-David Sedaris, everybody.
Pretty Ugly
are available at DavidSedarisOnTour.com.
We'll be right back with music from Paloma Faith.