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every time you have something that is
unwanted that is makes you uncomfortable
where you really don't want to go go
there and deal with insecure that's what
we mean by suffering yeah yes another
way it's sometimes translated is
discontent you know discontent that's
the perfect word how do we end so there
is that
discontent and you recognize it and you
wish to
be free of it so instead of running away
or eating something drinking something
whatever or yelling at someone instead
you breathe it in and sometimes I use
the image of it's as if you breathe it
into your heart and your heart just gets
bigger and bigger every time you breathe
in the
heart gets bigger and bigger so that no
matter how bad it feels you just give it
more space so when you breathe in you
open to it I guess you could say yeah oh
I get and when you breathe out you just
send out a lot of space okay so what
you're really saying is and I think this
is so important for anybody going
through
anything um you have to first accept
that what has happened has really
happened so that breathing in is like
being with it and fully accepting that's
right this moment instead of trying to
resist it and push it away sometimes I
say feel what does your heart feel like
people will say it feels like uh like a
rock what does your stomach feel like it
it feels like a knot you know uh it's as
if my whole body was clenched fists and
like this because I'm so miserable yeah
and say okay so breathe in and just let
that heart open let the stomach open let
it's as if you when you breathe in you
were going like that you know I
Surrender I Surrender you know I know
that and you breathe in deeply you
breathe out deeply and if you want to to
six in breaths where you emphasize that
go right ahead you know but usually it's
on the medium of the breath breathing it
in kind of allowing it welcoming it even
embracing it even I mean you can use
whatever word works you know that's
called compassionate abiding yeah
compassionate abiding with yourself yeah
and at a certain point I mean sometimes
right away sometimes a long time down
the line I have people say you know when
you breathe in you could
recognize that all over the world right
now and in the past and in the future
people are going to feel exactly what
you're feeling now the feeling of being
rejected the feeling of being unloved
feeling of insecurity the feeling of
fear rage whatever it is you're feeling
that human beings have always felt this
and always will and so you breathe in
for everyone that they could welcome it
that they could say I haven't done
anything wrong embrace it
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