- [Man] Are you ready to find out which Ballinger you are?
- Yeah.
- You are this one.
Yeah?
(dramatic music)
- Good morning everyone.
It is 2 a.m. and I'm at the new house,
not the old house.
And the reason I'm at the new house
is because we have internet.
So I'm using the internet to upload
our YouTube video,
and also to check on the cuts
for session two of Haters Back Off.
Even though I'm not in Canada,
I'm still trying to do some producing work
here in the States,
so coin's up in Canada right now,
editing the season and I'm getting cuts
and I'm giving notes on the cuts.
So I just had a phone call with Colleen
who I think she should probably be asleep now.
(laughs)
And trying to get some work done
but I have to do it here
at the new house and I'm the only one here
and I keep hearing these creepy noises, like tapping sounds
and stuff and I think it's just the creaking of the house
and like, maybe water going through the pipes
with the sprinkler system or something
but when you're alone in a big house,
there's nobody else here,
and it's 2 a.m.
Any moment of silence from my computer
when I'm not watching something, I hear something off
in the distance and it's a little creepy.
I'm not like scared, but you know, it's a little creepy.
Anyway, I'm gonna finish a few more things here
and then I'm gonna wrap it all up,
pack it up, go home, try and get some sleep
and hopefully the baby will not wake me up
in the middle of the night.
But you can't really count on that.
The baby will wake me up
lots of times.
That's what babies do.
(baby cries)
I told you he'd wake me up.
Actually, he was really good last night.
He's just upset 'cause mommy went to the dentist
with Joden.
Oh, no!
(baby cries)
Oh, no!
But we're calming him down.
Don't worry.
- [Child] Daddy.
- Yes?
- [Child] (mumbles) bottle in the fridge
and (mumbles).
- You want me to give him a bottle?
I think I'm gonna give him a little more time
before he uses a bottle.
I don't think he needs a bottle.
I don't think he's hungry.
I think he just misses the smell of mommy
and he's got the stinky smell of daddy.
Oh, no.
There you go.
Now you're calming down.
Anyway, the older kids are watching
a movie that they earned by donating stuff
and it is, is it Mickey Mouse or Silly Symphonies?
- [Child] Mickey Mouse in living color.
- Oh, Mickey Mouse in living color.
It's the original, early color Mickey Mouse cartoons.
So they were black and why Mickey Mouse cartoons
and there were color Mickey Mouse cartoons.
They're watching the early, early 1930's color ones.
You enjoying them?
- Uh-huh.
- Good stuff.
So today, I am super tired obviously.
Sorry I did the background's moving around a lot.
It's not like a really steady shot.
I've got to walk with the baby
so that he doesn't cry.
So if this makes you dizzy, I'm really sorry.
I'm not swaying, at least I'm not swaying
and bouncing.
Could be worse.
Anyway, today I'm super tired.
I have to go to the dentist.
Jessica has to go to the dentist.
It's like our usual cleaning.
Regular, scheduled, maintenance, dental maintenance.
You don't have to worry about that yet
'cause you don't have any teeth.
What do you think of that?
No teeth.
Jessica and I both have dentist appointments today
so Jessica's doing hers first
and then she's gonna come here and I'm gonna hop
in the car and go do mine.
(baby cries)
Oh, no.
Did I make you feel jealous of not having teeth?
Is that what it is?
You sad you don't have teeth.
You'll grow 'em.
You'll grow to sets of 'em.
Don't worry.
And then we have someone coming to the house
to assess it and figure out how much
it's gonna cost to move it
to the new house.
We're about ready for that,
the big furniture to go over and then we'll be living
at the new house.
How cool is that?
No more late nights driving all the way out there
to just use the internet
so that I can give notes on (mumbles) when it's quiet
and this guy's now screaming.
Oh, oh, oh, oh.
You really like the camera being on you.
Every time I turn the camera to you
you calm down.
What's up with that?
Are you a little vlogger?
Are you a little YouTuber?
You're tired YouTuber.
Yeah.
(baby cries)
Uh-oh.
Is that better?
(baby winces)
No, not better?
I gotta focus on this baby right now.
Baby!
We are at the new house now.
The dentist went well.
Just a cleaning and general checkup and everything's
looking good which is good.
That doesn't happen to me very often.
Usually they find a problem that they need to fix.
They didn't have any problems to fix.
I'm hanging out with Duncan.
Say hi.
(baby cries)
Oh, oh, oh.
The move is fast approaching.
We have selected the date.
We know we're moving now
and it's just a matter of
getting ready for that day to happen.
Oh, are you okay?
Do you want some camera time?
(baby cries)
Yeah, you tired?
It's been a big day.
We've been doing a lot of moving today, haven't we?
- [Child] I don't wanna get hurt.
- Yeah.
We've been doing a lot of moving?
(baby talk)
Oh.
So today has been a lot of
getting the house ready to receive
stuff and packing up stuff and organizing.
It's been a lot of just like, boxes and shelves
and I'm very dirty.
I don't know if you can see it.
My shirt is very dirty 'cause I've been in the garage
tearing down shelves and moving lumbar
and getting things ready.
Ready for the big move.
Are you excited to live here?
Oh, you're gonna miss the old house?
No?
Not really?
Indifferent about the old house?
Exacted about the new house?
No.
(baby cries)
Excited about food maybe.
Maybe he's excited about food.
Excited about food.
Yeah, new we're talking.
Food.
Alright, today's the day I finally get to show you
the new paint in our house.
Check it out.
(upbeat instrumental music)
There's a quiz that been going around Twitter
called Which Ballinger Are you?
And Jessica and I both took the quiz
and got ourselves.
So I got myself, Jessica got herself.
So it seems pretty accurate and I was curious
to see what would happen if the kids played the game.
So this is the the kids
finding out which Ballinger they are.
Which Ballinger do you think you are?
- Me?
- Bailey?
You think you're Bailey?
- Yeah, I am Bailey.
- Well, we'll find out soon enough.
Do you know which Ballinger you are?
- Jacob.
- We'll see.
Which Ballinger do you think you are?
- Uh, Parker Ballinger.
- Parker Ballinger?
Let's find out.
What is your favorite food?
Cookies, duh.
Oven-baked s'mores, our goals.
I'll eat it all.
I love donuts.
Anything gluten free, ice cream, cake.
- Anything gluten free.
- Cake.
- Favorite thing to do at Disneyland.
Skip down Main Street.
Obviously, going on rides
getting tickles.
I love it all.
Going on rides with the kids.
Walking around and getting donuts.
I like going on rides but not ones that are really big.
I love dressing up as the characters.
I'm not that into rides,
so usualLY I just go on the small rides.
- I like dressing up with the characters.
- I think (mumbles).
- Going on rides, getting pickles, I love it all.
- I like skipping down Main Street.
- What's your favorite Miranda video?
Well, they're all quite embarassing for anyone involved.
German candy, that burp is great.
Miranda goes to the park.
Do the Miranda.
Miranda for president is amazing.
Reacting to, "Don't hug me, I'm scared."
None of them.
- Miranda goes to the park.
- (mumbles)
- Number (mumbles) is great.
- The burp one?
- Uh-huh.
- What's your favorite holiday?
Christmas, President's, Family, Carl's Junior,
Easter, anything that's chocolate.
I like birthdays.
It's all about you and you get presents.
I don't really like them,
I prefer just going places with my friends.
Going to Disney, dressing up,
all of them.
Is summer a holiday?
- All of them.
- Christmas, presents, family, Carl's Junior.
That's your favorite?
- Who's Carl's Junior?
- Exactly.
I'll let you do Christmas.
That's good.
(upbeat instrumental music)
- But who's Carl's Junior?
- Do Christmas.
- And finally, what's your favorite movie?
Anything on Netflix,
scary movies,
I love horror,
not anything too scary.
Minions, Despicable Me, just anything with those
yellow things in it.
Disney princess movies.
Harry Potter and Star Wars.
Thomas the Tank, duh.
- Anything on Netflix.
- Star Wars.
- Thomas the tank.
- Are you ready to find out which Ballinger you are?
- Yeah.
- You are this one.
Yeah?
- No.
- Yeah, you're Auntie Panties.
- Oh, yeah I am.
- Yeah, that's you.
How do you feel about that?
- Good.
- Who are you?
- I think.
- Auntie Panties.
That's who you are.
You thought you were Jacob, but you're not.
Are you ready to find out which Ballinger you are?
- Yeah.
- You are.
- Bailey.
(laughs)
- You're you.
- I'm me.
- You're the only one of the kids
that got yourself.
- What did Jacob get?
- Jacob gpt Auntie Panties.
- What did Parker get?
- Auntie Panties.
(laughs)
- Hi, let's talk about what we learned today.
We learned that my house makes creepy noises at night
that I'm definitely not afraid of.
We learned that if you don't want to go to the dentist
so all you to do is not grow teeth.
And finally, we learned that we've got a couple
of little queens in my house.
Thanks of watching everybody.
We'll see you next time.
(laughing)
(upbeat instrumental music)