THANKS FOR BEING HERE.
THANK YOU FOR COMING TO SIGHS.
WE WERE AT THE EMMYS LAST NIGHT.
WE HAD A NICE TIME, DIDN'T WE REG, IT WAS FUN.
IT WAS FUN, WE HAD A GOOD TIME.
>> WE WANT TO SAY CONGRATULATIONS TO ALL THE
WINNERS AT THE EM OWE HEES LST NIGHT.
SO MANY BRITISH WOMEN LAST NIGHT, I COULDN'T BELIEVE IT
PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGES, JODI COMER, JESSIE ARMSTRONG, BEN
WHISH SAW,-- SHALL WHISHAW, I THOUGHT I WAS AT THE BAFTAS BUT
WITH MORE BRITISH PEOPLE TRK FELT LIKE EVERY AWARD BRSH
PEOPLE WERE WINNING IT AND THE PROBLEM IS I WAS IN A CATEGORY
NOMINATED AGAINST A BRITISH PERSON.
JOHN OLIVER AND HE IS AS EVERYBODY KNOWS JUST LIGHT
SLIGHTLY MORE BRITISH THAN ME.
IT'S THE GLASSES.
(LAUGHTER) IT'S THE GLASSES, THAT'S WHAT
ST. REGGIE, YOU LOOKED SO DAPPER
LAST NIGHT.
>> OH.
>> James: IN YOUR TUX.
>> THANKS.
>> James: AND YOU WERE SAT IN A ROW, IT WAS YOU, AND JON
BATISTE WHO IS STEPHEN COLBERT'S BAND LEADER.
>> YES.
>> James: WHAT MR. YOU TALKING ABOUT.
WHAT SORT OF COMMON GROUND WERE YOU FIING THERE.
>> WELL, LIKE IN BETWEEN EVERY, YOU KNOW, THEY ARE ALWAYS
PLAYING MUSIC SO THE WHOLE TIME WE WERE JUST LIKE-- AND I WAS
LIKE-- IT WAS JUST LOOK A JAM SESSION THE WHOLE TIME.
>> James: I FELL LIKE I WAS LOOKING OVER AND WERE YOU
TALKING ABOUT YOU HO YOU FAKE LAUGH.
>> YEAH, GIVING EACH OTHER POINTERS, LIKE THAT.
>> James: SAYING I LOVE THAT.
I LOVE THAT BIT YOU DID THAT FAKE LAUGH WHEN HE TOLD THAT
JOKE AND WERE YOU LIKE YEAH.
I AM WORKING ON THIS AT THE MOMENTND THEN HE WAS LIKE I'M
A FAN OF ONE OF OF THESE.
>> I MEAN I HOPE.
>> James: AND STEVE, YOU LOOKED GOOD LAST NIGHT.
>> THANKS.
>> James: YOU LOOKED GOOD IN THAT TUX.
I'M AMAZED THEY LET YOU IN WITH THAT BEARD.
>> ME TOO, ACTUALLY, YEAH.
>> James: WELL, I WANT TO TALK ABOUT THE BEARD.
CAN WE TALK ABOUT THE BEARD FOR A MINUTE.
>> SURE.
>> James: REVIEWERS WILL KNOW STEVE LET SLIP THAT HE HAD
TRIMMED HIS BEARD, THEREFORE LET'S BE HONEST, FOR FITTING HIS
SIZE, I SAID I WOULD GIVE HIM $10,000 IF HE DIDN'T SHAVE FOR A
YEAR.
I DID WHAT I CONSIDER TO BE AN UNBELIEVABLY NOBLE GESTURE.
OF LETTING IT SLIDE.
ALL NIGHT LAST NIGHT PEOPLE WERE COMING UP TO ME GOING WHAT YOU
HAVE DONE FOR STEVE, IT'S KRIN EDIBLE.
(LAUGHTER) STEVIE PHOEBE WALLER-BRIDGE IS
LIKE I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU LETIM OFF, HOW CAN SOMEONE LIE TO YOU
LIKE THAT.
I SAID LOOK, I'M JUST ONE OF THOSE GREAT GUYS.
YOU ABOUT I GOT TO BREAK SOMETHING TO YOU.
WE HAVE HAD THE PROP DEPARTMENT BUILD US THIS, OKAY.
OKAY?
THEY BUILT US THIS.
AND WE ARE GOING TO MEASURE YOUR BEARD EVERY MONDAY.
NOT NECESSARILY ON ALWAYS ON THE SHOW, DON'T WORRY, WE WILL HAVE
OTHER CONTENT FOR YOU.
(LAUGHTER) I'M NOT GOING TO LIE.
THERE IS A CHANCE THAT IF THE SHOW SAFER AN AWARD SHOW WE
MIGHT ARE HAD QUITE A BIG NIGHT THE NIGHT BEFORE THIS WILL BE
THE BEST CONTENT.
(LAUGHTER) >> IN PART ONE OF THE SHOW.
BUT I ALSO WHOLEHEARTEDLY BELIEVE IN THIS, OKAY.
NOW I GOT TO TELL YOU, THIS COSTS 47 DOLLARS.
TO MAKE, SO I HAVE REMOVED THAT FROM YOUR $10,000.
(LAUGHTER) >> OKAY?
SO YOU ARE NOW PAYING, YOU ARE NOW PLAYING FOR $9,95
APPROXIMATE, OKAY.
AND THIS IS WHAT WE ARE GOING TO DO, ALL RIGHT.
WE'RE GOING TOEASURE YOUR BEARD, AS I SAY, ONLY ON A SLOW
DAY.
SO WHERE IS THE THING GONE?
[BLEEP] WHERE HAS IT GONE.
OH [BLEEP] (LAUGHTER)
OH IT'S THERE.
>> YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR.
WITHIN YEAH, YOU'RE RIGHT.
YEAH, NOTHING TELLS ME YOU GET WHAT YOU PAY FOR MORE THAN WHEN
I LOOK AT THIS BAND EVERY NIGHT.
OKAY.
SO STAY THERE, STEVE.
NOW HERE'S HOW IT WORKS.
YOU HAVE TO PUT YOUR HEAD IN HERE, OKAY.
SO PUT YOUR HEAD IN.
RIGHT.
TURN THIS WAY, TURN TO FACE THIS WAY.
>> YEAH YEAH.
>> James: OKAY, RIGHT, HANG ON, SO I AM GOING TO PLACE THIS
AT THE LOWEST HAIR, OKAY.
THAT'S IT, IT'S SET, IT'S DONE, THE BET'S ON MINE US THE $47,
OKAY.
WE'LL CHECK BACK IN WITH THIS, WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH LAKE
BELL AND ROB CORDDRY, EVERYBODY.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)