So like if you look through this document you'll notice,
I want to tell them who I am and then very quickly demonstrate
that I think about the world the same way they think about the world.
Because when people are around individuals or groups of individuals
who have the same interpretation or impression or perspective on either an item,
an object, a group of people, or ultimately society at large
-- and in this case an industry --
it allows them to drop their defenses,
it allows them to be very open about the ideas that they're getting ready to hear about
because they've already been introduced to commonality
that allows them to say, you know what?
We're on the same team.
We can relate to each other.
We think about things the same way.
Huh, I'm wondering what you're thinking about now,
because now that I see that you and I think alike and we have similar perspectives,
there's a chance that what you're interested in,
I'm also interested in.
Then you've really got to start crafting the idea in a compelling manner.
Now, what does that mean?
Well, I know where I want to end up.
I want to end up with, let's do a deal.
And I want to end up with, let's do a deal in this manner.
But in order to get the audience from here's who I am and here's how
we think about things the same way to,
you want to do a deal and you want to do it this way,
I have to lead them down this path that ultimately helps them arrive at,
let's do a deal and let's do it this way.
The idea of any good communication document
is that the audience would arrive at the answer just before the answer is given to them,
so that the answer is now theirs.
In the consulting world that's called buy-in.
And what we learned in consulting early on is that coming up with the right answer
is less than a fourth of the challenge.
Getting buy-in, getting people to follow through,
getting people to implement effectively just as you have
described the answer to be right,
is 75% of the problem, if not more.
Here, they wanted that open kitchen, open with the great room,
and they wanted this kind of nice feel there.
But the exceptional view is this way.
So what we did here is, we put a gigantic piece of plate glass here,
and it had a butt joint there, so it's a continuous glass here to here.
It's like 12 feet of glass.
We had four kitchen options for them to choose.
And when they saw the glass thing, they were like...
Every other option just melted away.
You've heard the old saying the customer is always right?
Well, they're really not, okay?
But you've got to make them think they are.
You have to be respectful of their ideas, because every customer --
I mean, you rarely have a customer come in that just simply says,
I saw your house over there that you designed,
would you design me one?
And they just give you a square footage limit and just say,
come up with whatever you want.
That doesn't happen.
I mean, one every hundred houses.
They're all going to come in with their ideas,
and so we feel like, primarily, you have to be respectful of their wishes.
They're paying you, after all.
You have to -- there's got to be a way to respect their wishes
and also to be creative on your end
so that your design
so that your wishes to have a proper design be satisfied,
and the two have to marry.
As much as I can, when I'm in the clinic seeing my patients,
I try to really address the visit to them.
And you can do that very easily with an adolescent
and a school-aged child, and you approach them at the level --
pretty much I ask them a question that's unrelated to their health.
You know, what's going on in school, how are you spending your summer?
To sort of open the door to find out what's on their mind and what they're doing,
to find a common ground.
For younger children who are too young to actually have a conversation,
then I speak to their parents.
And in the kids that are in the transition between not really being very verbal
and understanding what's going on,
but are maybe afraid to say anything,
I am very aware of the fact that anytime I talk to their parents,
they're absolutely listening to everything that I'm saying,
and listening for certain words that they might be worried about hearing,
things like blood drawing or hospital or a test.
So I think my communication with any of the groups always comes back
to finding that common ground.
Coming in to see a physician is always an anxiety-provoking experience.
I know that I experience the same thing when I'm going in for a visit,
because I have an agenda in my mind about why I'm there,
and then also paying attention to every single cue
that I get from the physician in terms of body language,
gesture, and what they say and how they say it.
So being aware of that, I think, is really important.
Most of the time when we are communicating
with patients and families,
we're focused on our agenda of what we need to accomplish.
But I think periodically you have to step back and look for the cues as to,
you know, are you raising anxiety, lowering anxiety,
are you answering the questions that perhaps they came in with?
And if you're giving an answer,
are they drifting off because you've suddenly started using terms
that are just way over their heads?
Or have they stopped listening because you have said something
that is essentially a stop sign, like hospitalization,
and they're not going to hear anything else because they've suddenly broken into tears?
And then you change your communication;
you stop talking about the reason for that and you console them.
You know, you kind of have to really deal
with the things that are on your patient and your family's agenda first.