-Welcome to the show, everybody,
and happy Teacher Appreciation Day.
-Yeah! [ Cheers and applause ]
Tonight's audience is made up of --
[ Chuckles ]
Oh, we love you.
Tonight's audience is made up of
over 200 New York City public schoolteachers.
New York City... [ Cheers and applause ]
...has a program called The Big Apple Awards
where they recognize outstanding teachers
who inspire their students and promote quality education
in their communities.
And everyone here tonight is either
a Big Apple Award winner, finalist, or nominee.
Congratulations, everybody. -Oh!
[ Cheers and applause ]
-None of us would be here without our teachers.
And we love you guys so much, and every teacher out there,
really -- we're so glad.
-Thanks, Jimmy. -Thank you so much. Really.
[ Cheers and applause ] We're glad you're here.
We're going to have a good time tonight.
Last night, I had a fun night. My throat's a little hoarse.
I was singing last night. I went to the --
I was at the Met Gala last night.
Yeah, oh, yeah, I got invited.
And, dude, everyone goes for it at this thing.
I gotta show you some of the pictures.
The theme was Camp.
You know, Anna Wintour does a great job raising money
for the fashion institute.
And everyone wears these
unbelievable outfits and goes for it.
So, it was like, campy.
So you can go as campy as you want.
Very colorful, very odd.
Here's JLo, just looking gorgeous.
Yeah. Nice. [ Cheers and applause ]
-That's camp.
I think Jared Leto won the night for me.
[ Laughter ]
He was walking around with his own severed head.
[ Cheers and applause ]
Oh, Ezra Miller. Look at what he did.
This is real. I went -- And I talked to him like this.
Can we zoom in?
[ Audience oohs ]
Look at that. Isn't that insane?
Yeah, it was so bizarre talking to him,
I didn't know what eye to look at.
[ Laughter ] -Wink!
-Tessa Thompson, looking gorgeous.
Wearing so much latex, she was like sweating.
My buddy of the night. You know who I hung out with all night?
-Who? -James Corden.
-Oh, I love him. -He was fantastic.
[ Cheers and applause ]
He was so funny.
He was so funny. We hung out. He was sitting next to Gaga.
And we were all talking, hanging out the whole night.
So here's the way it works --
I shouldn't even be invited to these things.
Let's be honest.
But I was sitting at the Chanel table.
-Ooh.
So that's table number five.
-It was table number five, yeah.
Thank you, I'm gonna use that joke.
-Take it, it's yours. -So I'm sitting at the table.
They don't make men's wear, so I'm wearing a tuxedo by The Row
which is Mary Kate and Ashley Olsen.
They make really beautiful clothes.
Is that me? Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ]
-Rico Suave.
-So I wore this brooch.
It's a Chanel -- This is a camellia.
-A camellia. -A camellia flower.
Right, and so I wore this.
This brooch, and so, I go over,
and I see Tom Ford, who's one
of the best-looking dudes on Earth.
And he's an amazing designer.
And I went over to him, and I said hi to Anna Wintour
and I said hi to Tom. I go, "How are you doing, buddy?
He goes, "Oh, you look nice." I go, "Thank you very much."
And this beautiful woman next to him goes,
"I love your camellia."
I go, [ Chuckling ] "Well..."
[ Laughter ] Someone knows fashion
here at the fashion institute.
I go, "Thank you very much."
I go, "Let me tell you something, this is a Chanel.
That's why I'm wearing -- I'm at the --
hate to table drop, but I'm at the Chanel table, okay?
And, you know, I got the camellia flower there,
because it has no scent.
That's why Coco invented -- that's the house flower."
And Tom Ford goes, "I'm going to stop you right now, you idiot."
[ Laughter ]
"That is Lady Amanda Harlech.
She is -- she is Chanel."
[ Laughter ]
[ Sad tuba plays ]
-Wow! Nice! Come on! -So I'm going, "Oh, my God."
-Love it! -I'm so embarrassed.
I go, "Oh, my gosh. I'm telling her all about Chanel."
I go, "Would you want me to continue?"
She goes, "Yeah, I would." [ Laughter ]
Okay. I go, "Well, I heard about this.
The camellia flower is used because it doesn't have a scent
to it, and that way if you wear a fragrance, it won't compete.
Where Tom Ford is wearing a flower and a fragrance,
and you're fighting yourself, dude."
[ Laughter ] And he goes,
"I invented this fragrance around my flower."
I go, "Oh cool it, buddy." [ Laughter ]
So she goes, "Let me just tell you something, you fool."
-She called you a fool, as well? -Yeah, she called me a fool.
She goes, "What you're wearing, the camellia flower,
yes, the real flower has no scent.
You are wearing fabric. [ Laughter ]
That of course has no scent, so what are you talking about?"
But then we got talking and we're joking and, you know,
they're both making fun of me, but I was laughing.
And she was so nice. We hit it off.
And she said, "By the way, Tom, look at his tie."
My bow tie. She goes, "That is a real bow tie."
It's the handmade one. Like I hand --
I didn't do it. Let's be honest.
-Your people tied it.
-Stephanie Biear here from wardrobe did it.
And she goes, "That is class." Yeah.
[ Cheers and applause ] -Ooh! Yeah!
-Lady Amanda Harlech said I was class!
-Nice! -And then invited me to Paris!
-What?! -We had a great time.
Thank you for inviting me everybody at "Vogue"
and Anna and everybody at the Met ball. It was really fun.
[ Cheers and applause ]