- Oh, what me?
Oh nah, nah, I just woke up like this,
you know what I mean?
And then paid someone to do my hair and makeup
and dress me.
And pluck my eyebrows.
(horse hooves)
What up everyone, it's your girl Superwoman.
So initially, right, I had this dope video idea,
it was a skit with all these characters
and it was so fun.
Even wrote it a few days ago,
and I was supposed to record it two days ago,
like a responsible adult,
and then a fever came along and hit me upside my head
and I got sick.
In fact, I'm sick right now.
Don't let this fool you.
I just had to go to an event,
but I'm dying inside.
In fact, I feel like so much crap
I wasn't even gonna make a video today.
But then I'm like, "Nah, I look too fly
"to waste this opportunity."
When the f I'm gonna be able to do a smoky eye like dis?
Never.
So instead I decided to make a super easy video.
I think this video is so easy because in my opinion
it's just common sense.
Now, I would like to believe I'm a pretty humble person.
Okay, obviously.
I mean, humble people clearly talk about
how humble they are.
No, but for real.
I feel like I don't brag much about myself,
but I do brag about the people in my life
that are awesomesauce.
In other words, I will brag your mothereffin' ear off
about how my viewers, AKA my fans, AKA Team Super,
are the best fans in the entire universe.
And if you disagree with me I'm gonna have to
A) laugh at you, okay,
B) book you a doctors appointment,
and C) pay for your tuition so that you can learn something.
Because just like how people brag about their kids
or their friends or their siblings,
I brag about Team Super all the time.
And if you're sitting there all confused
because you're living under a rock,
A) I'm jealous of you, say what up to Dwayne,
and B) let me educate you real quick.
I have a group of awesome fans,
and I sincerely hope you don't mind me calling you fans,
called Team Super.
And they're quite simply the best people on the planet.
Okay, and if you disagree with me
I'm gonna have to go to the store right now,
buy a white glove, and challenge you to a duel.
This is not my opinion.
This is a fact.
My viewers are the best for the following,
but not limited to four reasons.
And I don't care what you doing.
You gonna sit there and you gonna listen to these reasons,
okay, because these my babies.
And also, I'm sick and I keep sniffing my boogers
because I don't want to wipe them and ruin my makeup, so.
(sniff)
Boogers are on my brain for this video.
Number one.
Team Super is my mother.
Today's Super Monday, right, I tweet like
"Hey, it's Super Monday.
"What do you want to see?
"Put in all your video suggestions."
And all the tweets are, "We want to see you sleeping
for 10 hours."
"Sleep, rest, take some medicine.
"Don't have to make a video if you're tired."
Team Super stays wanting me to sleep.
Okay, straight up, if I was Sleeping Beauty, and sleeping,
and they saw Prince Charming walking towards me,
they'd be like, "Oh no, he's hella fine.
"But he got like a 14-pack.
"He got a chiseled jaw, sexy AF.
"Let's tie him up and throw him into a river.
"Mothereffer don't even think about kissing Lily
"and waking her up because she is sleeping
"and she needs to sleep, okay?
"Now I don't give an eff if she's sexually frustrated
"and gonna be single.
"Don't you worry about it.
"Get the eff out of here.
"I will buy her nine cats when the time is right."
They care about my health and sleep so much,
and to be honest, sometimes my creator friends
will message me being like, "Yo, my fans get pissed
"if I miss a video or don't create like regular content."
And I'm just like, "Yo, we are not cousins,
"because I do not relate.
"My fans are the best."
Number two.
Team Super is made up of a group of detectives.
Y'all know things about me that I don't know about me.
I can't tell you how often I will look
through my tag pictures and I will see pictures of myself
that I have not even seen.
You will show me a picture of me.
I'm like, "I don't know where I was,
"I don't know when this was taken,
"I don't know how I got here.
"It's a mystery."
It's the Bermuda Triangle of tagged pictures.
Straight up, and they're quick, okay.
Team Super be tagging me in pictures from an event
that I haven't attended yet.
Straight up effin time traveling for these tagged pictures.
If I post a picture right now of my friend and I,
within 15 seconds there's going to be 10 different edits
of this picture posted that I am tagged in,
as well as a video montage of our friendship.
And I'm just sitting here in awe, like
what kind of factory y'all got runnin'
behind these fan accounts?
Also, can I hire you all?
Like straight up, Team Super is so on point
that if I'm ever in a relationship,
if that ever happens,
and anyone is like, "Yo, it's cool, like,
"we like you for who you are and stuff,
"and it's cool to dress up like a man sometimes."
If I'm ever in a relationship, right,
and this person cheats on me,
y'all are gonna know before I do.
In fact, you're probably gonna be the one
to tell me this, and I'm gonna be like,
"Dude, what the eff are you talkin' about?
"Show me the receipts."
And y'all just gonna be like--
(paper rustling)
Done.
These are the chapters of my book, you know.
I gotta put them back in order.
Cha.
Preorder lillysnewbook.com.
Team Super knows all.
When I take a flight and they ask me for my
emergency contact, I don't know why I put my parents.
I put my parents every time.
Straight up one day a doctor is gonna call my parents
and be like, "Hey, we need you to identify your daughter.
"Can you please tell us her eye color."
My parents are gonna be like, "Uh, magenta?"
I should just put Team Super as this contact
because if Team Super ever got this call,
they'd be like, "Yeah, eye color?
"Height?
"Weight?
"Blood type?
"Last video?
"Last sent me news?
"What you need?
"Let me know.
"Here it is on an Excel sheet.
"Yeah, for PC and Mac."
On point.
And number three.
Team Super is a team.
Duh.
Anytime I have an event, a project,
or I'm nominated for an award,
Team Super is the best marketing team on the planet.
Straight up, I don't know why I be payin' other people
to do my PR and marketing because Team Super
is the most loyal and effective billboard to ever exist.
Can I just be real right now?
Okay, the way my audience comes together
and works together as a group is phenomenal.
And I mean this in the most loving way.
You know the movie Ants, okay?
Those ants, that's Team Super.
They get together and they build bridges
and ish with their body.
They just move and function as a unit
with their group projects and all these teams and groups.
Straight up, if they were on the Titanic,
no one would die, okay.
Both of those mothereffers would have survived
floating on that door, because Team Super
would have been there like Tetris,
"Bring me that, you go there, your leg here,
"let's balance it all here."
Okay, no deaths.
Effin Jack and Rose with their weak-a squad.
Shipping was expensive for my girl Larifiki,
so what did they do?
"Hey, let's buy them together and buy 20
"and then meet up and divide them amongst ourselves."
That's project management.
That's more organized than some countries.
People out here tryin' to have kids to make them proud.
I'm like, "Nah.
"Y'all should be trying to have a Team Super."
Number four.
Team Super treats the people I love with so much kindness.
When it's one of my friend's birthdays,
Team Super wishes them, and even gives them gifts sometimes.
Okay, and then I'm sitting here and my friend
is texting me like, "Yo, you want to come
"to me birthday party?"
I'm just like, "Yo, new phone, who dis?"
"It's your best friend."
"Who?"
"Your best friend, yo."
"Alright, k, I'll be there, I'll be there.
"I'll be late though, okay.
"I'm not getting a gift either.
"Yo and also you have to pay for my parking."
And Team Super will be out there drawing pictures of them.
When I was in Spain a few days ago,
almost every fan that approached me wished my mom
happy birthday, because they knew it was her birthday.
I don't even know if it's my birthday
unless I go on my Twitter profile
and see the balloons floating.
You smart.
You royal.
I 'spect that.
And for these reasons and many, many, many more,
my fans are the best fans.
And if you're watching this and are for some reason
offended, don't be, okay?
The subscribe button is right there.
This is in your hands.
Dang, though, this video was easy to make.
This video was so easy to make.
I should have made this video a long time ago.
I shoulda made this video so long ago,
when people thought Donald Trump being the president
was still a joke.
Back in those naive, innocent days.
Yo, what's up?
I hope you enjoyed that video.
If you did, please give it a thumbs up.
I know it was a little bit different
and not to funny, but I'm sick and I don't feel good,
so I'm sorry.
Another thing I want you to do is
my 12 Collabs of Christmas are coming up.
I want you to comment, letting me know,
who do you want to see me collaborate with?
Because I'm very excited about it.
Every December I do my 12 collaborations of Christmas.
So comment below.
Let me know.
You can check out my last video right over there.
It is a collab with Victoria Justice.
So make sure you check that out.
My second blog channel is right over there,
if you want to check out my Spain adventures
and any other adventures such as today, just now,
I just mingled with my bey, the Rock,
if you want to check it out, it'll be there,
hey, tomorrow, just sayin'.
Oh lord, what else I got to tell you?
Let me check my list.
Oh yo, pre-order my book and stuff if you want to.
The link's up there in the island, the description,
whatever, no big deal, whatever you want to do,
you know what I mean?
And make sure you subscribe because
I make videos every Monday and Thursday.
And I would really love for you to be here,
because you know what?
Love is yours, all the best.
One love, Superwoman.
That is a wrap and zoop.
Oh no, the blazer's too tight to go that high.
I just learned that right now.
Did I rip something?