RUTLEDGE WOOD: My brother-in-law found this.
He said "One of the funnier critiques I've seen.
Seriously, those guys have no on-screen chemistry together.
It looks like they took some doof from NYC, a guy who's
never gotten more than a sloppy BJ, and a guy who
refused to leave the hipster cake-eating contest, and put
them in a TV
show together." [LAUGHTER]
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I like that.
That's creative.
That took thought.
RAY WERT: Yeah, that was--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I also like that my family members will
send stuff like that to me.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
RAY WERT: Our first guest in the very first episode is the
co-host of History Channel's artisanal automotive program,
as well as also a Speed TV NASCAR micro-celebrity, as
well as an amateur beard enthusiast.
Please welcome Rutledge Wood.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Hey, hey, thank you, thank you, Ray.
It's so nice to be here.
RAY WERT: Good to be here as well.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I didn't know how to enter, so I just went
over the chair.
Can I say, not only am I super pumped to be the first guest
on the Jalopnik show, but to be here at the Classic Car
Club of Manhattan, this would either A, make me want to move
to New York, or B, get a membership and just use a lot
a sky miles to come up and drive cars.
RAY WERT: You're dressed appropriately for New York,
you're looking very hipsteresque right now.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I don't know why you and some of the people
that follow Jalopnik--
do you call them Jalopnikers, Jalops, Jalopies?
RAY WERT: I think they self-identify
themselves as Jalops.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: OK.
I don't want to sound like a jerk, but you guys don't know
what a hipster is.
Number one, you've obviously never seen Joel, who writes
for Jalopnik.
I don't wear cardigans.
I don't wear skinny jeans.
Hipsters tend to match.
I actually--
RAY WERT: I was going to say, it sounds like you got a list.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Well, I actually wrote a list down
this morning because I was thinking about this, the
difference between hipsters and myself.
Also, I'm going to go to Dave's Quality Meats, which is
a sneaker store.
It's really good.
Hi, ladies.
How you doing?
Jalopnik show, first one.
Yeah, ultra tight everything--
don't.
I washed this shirt twice.
Skinny jeans, cardigan--
fixed-gear bicycles.
If you ride a fixed gear, you're a hipster because
you're not thinking about your knees later in life, which is
ridiculous.
I'm all for-- paint your bicycle up.
I love it.
But don't be a horse's ass and ride a fixed gear.
That's not--
there's nothing trendy about that.
RAY WERT: Well, plus you can't brake.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: No, it's a terrible idea.
Come on, make it a free wheel, put one brake on there.
You can still be edgy with just one brake.
Also, hipsters know the lyrics to the band Phoenix and all
their songs, whereas I know all the lyrics to the group
The Wiggles because I have two kids.
RAY WERT: That'll help.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: And also they have crazy unkempt beards, and
I trim mine.
That's just basically my life.
So I'm not saying you can't--
you can keep calling me a fat hipster, but it means you both
don't know what fat is or what a hipster is.
And also, if we went to Middle School and you're calling me
fat, I still think you suck.
RAY WERT: By the way, I think the first rule in any type of
show is you should definitely come on and completely insult
the audience.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yes.
RAY WERT: I think that's the right way to do it.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Well, there was probably only six.
Six, I mean you have--
RAY WERT: There's probably dozens of viewers out there
who are probably going to be watching this.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Well, in general, I meant those six
that still think I'm a hipster.
RAY WERT: Yeah.
All right, let's talk about Top Gear USA.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yes, please.
RAY WERT: So you're entering your third season.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: We're entering our--
it seems like third, it's really the second
half because of the--
RAY WERT: It's been the second season forever.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: --second season.
I know, it's like season 2.5, is a good way to look at it.
The History Channel, when we started, what happened was we
had planned to make 10 episodes.
And they saw how good they looked before any of them
aired, so they ordered six more.
So what we did was we saved two from that first set of 10,
shot six more so, so it was eight and eight, which I know
is a little bit confusing because the show just
disappears.
RAY WERT: I'm sorry.
I just completely wasn't listening at all.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I know, I know.
RAY WERT: I'm sorry.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yes.
It's about to start, Season 2 and 1/2.
We're moving to Tuesday nights at 9 o'clock, which is cool.
Sunday nights was good, and we have like the youngest
audience that History's ever had, which is great.
But I think that a lot of people DVR it because it's on
Sunday night and there's football and all sorts of
other stuff.
So we start on February 14, Valentine's Day, 9:00 PM.
And that's going to be a great date.
RAY WERT: Yeah, that's exactly what I'm thinking.
I'm totally going to--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Bottle of Boone's Farm
and some Top Gear.
RAY WERT: What was your first car?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: First car was a 1981 Rabbit, VW Rabbit, diesel
pickup, 4-speed, no options.
It had the sealed vent windows, radio delete.
My grandpa bought it.
They bought a Rabbit pickup and a four-door
Rabbit at the same time.
And I went out to New Mexico when I was seven or eight.
And I said, hey, who's truck is that?
And he said, it's going to be yours one day.
And it had this awkward, half-shell thing that I don't
know if anyone's ever seen them.
Imagine like you make a camper shell, and then like halfway
through, you stop and decide to make it look like a trunk
with a luggage rack on it.
It was terrible.
Oh, it looked so bad.
And then, of course, it has no options.
Like they had the LX, and there was
even the sport truck.
It sucked, bless its little heart.
But I loved it.
Ended up, I think the head gasket went.
It would smoke like a barbecue.
And I just kept trying to drive it thinking--
I didn't know a lot about cars at the time.
I kept thinking, like, if I just get some better diesel
cycled through there--
RAY WERT: Yeah, that'll totally fix the problem.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: --it'll be fine.
Yeah, it didn't.
So rest in peace.
I want another one, though.
I found a couple cool ones.
Some people have done like a G60 Corrado swap.
Or I've seen a VR6 one, but I don't think that would drive
all that well.
I think that's too heavy.
RAY WERT: So what are you driving now?
What's in your garage?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Well, I have a fairly eclectic group.
If you ask Tanner or Adam, they would say I have six
crappy cars instead of just one nice one.
My big project I've been building for the past year--
this sounds terrible when you say it out loud--
is a 1983 Honda Civic wagon.
It is way cool.
It's got a '96 Integra swap in there, LS, non-VTEC.
So we converted it to fuel injection.
It flies.
It's a fun little car.
I have a 1966 Volkswagen Double Cab Pickup, which were
pretty rare.
The single cab trucks are rare, and I've seen less
double cabs.
So it looks like you cut half of a VW Bus off the back.
It's fun.
1776 in the back, it flies.
I bought the K5 Blazer from Top Gear that we drove through
Death Valley.
Are you going to speed this up where it looks like I'm saying
this for hours?
You are, aren't you?
RAY WERT: Yes, I am.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: OK.
So I have that K5.
It's still sitting in LA.
I traded--
my best friend is Kyle Petty.
I traded a '53 Plymouth that I got from his dad to him for
his '69 Charger.
And his uncle is building that, fixing the motor for me,
Uncle Maurice, Maurice Petty.
I have a '96 Roadmaster Wagon that I was
thinking about selling.
I really wanted to trade it for an old truck, but I have
convinced my wife to let me keep it.
She thinks it's creepy.
RAY WERT: I can't imagine why she would think it's creepy.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Beats me.
RAY WERT: But it's awesome.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: It's a great car.
RAY WERT: Why would anyone think that's a creepy car?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: LT1 power.
It needs a Z06 swap.
It needs a 6B and a big-ass LS under the hood.
I know that.
But that stuff doesn't grow on trees.
You've got to wait for someone to wreck a car.
And then my daily driver--
I think I told you.
Right now I'm driving this F250 my friend Jeff
Kelderman loaned me.
But I also have a Suburban because I'm a family man, and
I need to pull my car trailer.
So I had to have something big.
I wanted a Raptor but I just--
I weened out at the last minute.
RAY WERT: Really?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yeah.
RAY WERT: Even with the bigger engine?
I mean, it's a--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I was waiting for the Crew Cab to come out.
Then when I saw Tanner abuse the hell out of it on Top
Gear, I was like, OK.
OK, I definitely want one.
RAY WERT: There's some awesomeness.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: They're incredible.
But I also thought I was going to pull an Airstream.
I bought a '73 Airstream that was in this guy's backyard for
20 years, untouched, for $600.
It's a bad idea, Spinelli.
Exactly.
I drug it home.
It was a terrible mess.
We realized how much mold and everything else was in there.
Well, at the time, I thought I could fix it.
You gotta believe.
Just like a car, I can save it.
RAY WERT: It's like--
you see, the problem with an Airstream, though, is it's not
like just fixing a car.
It's like fixing a car and a home.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yes.
RAY WERT: And a convertible and a--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: All combined.
RAY WERT: Yes.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: There's like 3,000 rivets holding just the
inside on, and I had to take the inside skin off, in
theory, to clean it out.
So I bought the Suburban, thinking I would be pulling
the Airstream.
And I thought I would look like a jackass pulling an
Airstream with this gigantic Raptor.
So that's why I leaned the other way, but I sometimes
wish I hadn't.
I do like that Suburban.
RAY WERT: I actually think that would look fairly normal.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: It would.
RAY WERT: Mostly because no one else would be doing it.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: That's true, that's true.
I'll have another Airstream.
I sold it.
My town got mad at me because apparently you can't have one
in your backyard.
I didn't know that.
Vicky, at History, who does all the PR, has thought,
literally, since we started Top Gear--
I one day made a joke like, oh yeah, I got all kinds of cars
up on blocks in my yard.
And every time she reaches out to people, she tells them that
I have cars in my yard up on blocks, like I'm
that kind of redneck.
RAY WERT: It sort of sounds like it, actually.
Except--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I don't.
Well, I don't, is the good news.
RAY WERT: But is the reason really just that the city
ordinances won't allow you to do it?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yes, the city and my wife.
I probably would.
I'd have like a--
RAY WERT: See, you are exactly that kind of redneck.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I am.
I'd have like a Nash Metropolitan hidden somewhere,
an old right-hand drive Mini.
I like too many cars.
That's my problem.
I just can't stop.
That's why I have six crappy cars instead of one nice one.
RAY WERT: So let's get to our first segment of our very
first episode of the very first Jalopnik TV show.
It is a game that we're going to call toggle switch.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Great.
RAY WERT: We're going to give you two options, and you're
going to have to pick one.
And at the end, we're going to score you and see how many of
them you got right.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Ooh, so this could be a trick.
RAY WERT: Yes.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Like you could say,
Angelina Jolie or Jennifer--
RAY WERT: Aniston.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: --Aniston.
And clearly, it's Jennifer Aniston, but you might be
thinking that it's the other one.
RAY WERT: No, the correct response there would be
Angelina Jolie.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh, I'm going to have to say you're wrong.
RAY WERT: We're going to have to cross that one off.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: OK, sorry.
Let's get--
RAY WERT: So let's start.
NASCAR or Formula One?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: NASCAR.
100%.
You know, the difference is champagne versus the
champagne of beers.
RAY WERT: Well, that's clearly the difference.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I'll take the High Life.
RAY WERT: It's Miller High Life all the way for this man.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh, totally, totally.
RAY WERT: All right, New York thin crust or
Chicago deep dish?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh, New York thin crust.
I've tried Chicago deep dish.
And it's fun.
It's like--
gosh, there's a terrible analogy running through my
head, and that would not be nice to share.
RAY WERT: Oh, come on, it's on YouTube.
It's not like there are
countless little kids watching.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I can't do it, but I'll tell you later.
I'll tell you later.
Yeah, New York thin crust, so much better.
Is Ray's Pizza truly the best pizza?
RAY WERT: No, it's actually the worst pizza in New York.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: The movie Elf told me Ray's Pizza is the
best, but there's like 15 of them.
The original one is on something.
RAY WERT: It's a Will Ferrell movie.
Seriously, you're going to decide what New York is about
based on a Will Ferrell movie?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I love smiling.
Smiling's my favorite.
RAY WERT: I'm smiling.
Yeah, smiling--
yeah, I can tell.
I like to smile.
You have to sing it out loud.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I'm smiling.
RAY WERT: I'm smiling.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I'm at a car club, and I'm smiling.
RAY WERT: And I'm smiling as I give you the next
question which is--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Ok, sorry.
RAY WERT: Facebook or Twitter?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Gosh.
Twitter, Twitter.
I think Facebook will die, just like
MySpace did at some point.
And I hope that Zuckerberg guy pulls the ripcord and makes a
lot more money before that happens.
Great movie.
Obviously--
RAY WERT: It was obviously true to life.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yeah, completely true.
Great movie.
How about that one guy who played the twins?
RAY WERT: Yeah, that was pretty awesome.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: That got me.
That was really good.
RAY WERT: Starbucks or Dunkin' Donuts?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Neither.
Chick-fil-A sweet tea.
I don't like coffee, goes through me
like a lightning bolt.
I mean, if I have coffee, we could time it, and then I'm
going to need a toilet, and it's going be violent.
I'm sorry, that's probably too much information.
RAY WERT: It was a little bit more than we were hoping for,
but we'll take it.
We'll take it as an answer.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Sorry.
RAY WERT: Brian Williams or Anderson Cooper?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Brian Williams.
Brian Williams, I would shout that from the mountaintops.
Love Anderson Cooper, he's fantastic.
But Rock Center-- what Brian Williams does is great.
I heard someone say that Brian Williams should be the next
toast of the Tonight Show, and I agree.
RAY WERT: He is.
He is one of the funniest people in TV.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: And he loves cars.
Did you know he likes NASCAR?
RAY WERT: He's a huge NASCAR fan.
He's a huge Jalopnik fan, actually.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: No, he's not.
RAY WERT: Yeah, he reads Jalopnik.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Brian Williams might see this?
RAY WERT: Yeah, he absolutely--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh, gosh.
RAY WERT: You should've put on a--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: How do I look?
RAY WERT: --better JC Penney T-shirt this time.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Cut out that part about what
coffee does to my body.
RAY WERT: Yes, I will definitely--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: OK, good.
Crap.
RAY WERT: Brian Williams is an absolute huge car guy.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: When I heard you say Brian, I thought you
were saying Brian Adams, which also, whoever you say after,
you going to have to choose Brian Adams.
RAY WERT: Absolutely.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Because everything I do, he's going to
do it for you, or everything he'd do, he does it for you.
You know the song.
RAY WERT: I think we all do.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: "Summer of '69." Oh, he's a hit machine.
RAY WERT: Xbox or PS3?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: PS3.
I just never liked that red ring of death
you get on the Xbox.
I just feel bad for people.
RAY WERT: I think they stopped that.
I think they fixed it.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I don't know.
RAY WERT: All right.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: We could call somebody.
RAY WERT: Are you still one of those people who blows in the
cartridges, the Nintendo cartridges?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: You know I still
have an original Nintendo.
That might lean towards the hipster category.
RAY WERT: A little bit.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: But I also have the original Super Nintendo
because I love Mario Kart.
Someone gave me a video game thing called an Odyssey, which
was made by Magnavox.
They were like going to throw it away.
I'd never seen it before, and I have one cord that's wrong,
so it won't turn on.
RAY WERT: Steve Carell or Ricky Gervais?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: That's a tough one.
For everything but the Golden Globes, Steve Carell, Ricky
Gervais, Golden Globes.
The fact that he can make fun of those people so
brilliantly--
RAY WERT: And get invited back.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: --and get invited back.
That's like slapping your girlfriend's mom at dinner,
and then she says, why don't you come over for breakfast?
That crap doesn't happen, especially in that circle of
people that are so crazily vain, which is what he made
fun of most of.
But I love both those guys.
RAY WERT: Which do you think is a better
Michael on The Office?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: To me, what's funny is that they seem so
different, those shows.
Probably a lot like Top Gear--
RAY WERT: Yeah, I was going to ask--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: --US and UK.
RAY WERT: Is it similar to that?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I see what you're doing here.
I really like watching.
And I did not--
I knew of The Office, but didn't watch it
before it came here.
And so when I heard it was coming here,
then I watched one.
And I thought was really funny, but it's also I like
British humor.
Not everybody does.
My dad won't watch The Office because he feels too much like
that's what it was like in the past 15 years he was at work.
It just freaks him.
He's like that guy was my boss.
RAY WERT: Beverly Hills 90210 or Saved by the Bell?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Saved by the Bell.
Saved by the Bell.
Carryover mention when Tiffani Amber Thiessen went to Beverly
Hills 90210, though.
Here's a 90210 trivia question that's for cars.
There was a black Corvette that Ian Ziering drove, Steve
Sanders was his name on the show, had a California vanity
license plate.
What was it?
RAY WERT: Oh jeez, I don't remember.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Anyone?
RAY WERT: I'm sorry, I'm not as up on my--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: You should know this.
RAY WERT: --trivia.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Technically, this is your wheelhouse
because it did have to do with cars.
RAY WERT: Just barely the wheelhouse.
I mean, because you'd have to get through how many episodes
in order to be able to actually see that?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: A lot.
RAY WERT: Yeah, I mean that--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: It was California vanity plate--
RAY WERT: What was it?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I8A4RE.
I ate a Ferrari.
[LAUGHTER]
RAY WERT: Was it an actual plate or was it a--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I'm sure it was fake.
You know how shows are.
RAY WERT: Always faking everything.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: They really are, those rascals.
RAY WERT: Last question, Top Gear
Australia or The Car Show?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: What kind of question is that?
Top Gear Australia.
RAY WERT: Top Gear Australia.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: It will be back one day.
It will rise from the ashes.
Shout out to The Car Show.
Rest in peace.
RAY WERT: All right, let's score the 10 questions.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh, no.
RAY WERT: First question, the correct answer is actually
Formula One.
The second question, you are correct.
It is New York thin crust.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Thank you.
RAY WERT: The third question, you are absolutely wrong.
It is Facebook.
I mean, come on.
How many Twitter movies have there been?
Really?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Fair point.
RAY WERT: All right.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: OK.
If that's the basis, Ray.
RAY WERT: I mean, it is.
You even mentioned it.
I mean, the movie is where it's at.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Totally.
RAY WERT: Starbuck's or Dunkin' Donuts?
You are absolutely correct.
The answer is none of the above.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Chick-fil-A sweet tea.
RAY WERT: So that's fine.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I'll take it.
RAY WERT: That takes it.
The correct answer was Brian Williams.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yes.
RAY WERT: Xbox was actually the correct answer.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Get out of town.
RAY WERT: There's only one that has a motorsport Jalopnik
car pack on it.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh, this is such a weighted question.
RAY WERT: Seven, the correct answer was Ricky Gervais.
You kind of got it half right.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I mean, I did give him love.
I think he's wonderful.
RAY WERT: Oh, and it actually turns
out we missed a question.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Oh no.
RAY WERT: Yes, so the missed question was boxers or briefs?
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Boxer-briefs is what I wear.
RAY WERT: OK.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: That's a combo.
RAY WERT: That is the correct answer.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Good, good, good.
Oh, man.
That's such a trick question.
RAY WERT: And then, the correct response was actually
Saved by the Bell.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Thank you.
RAY WERT: Or we would have also accepted
see none of the above.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Or California Dreams.
RAY WERT: Not a chance.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Did you ever see that one?
RAY WERT: Not a chance, not a chance.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Matt Hardigree saw that one.
RAY WERT: Well, Matt Hardigree is a very
interesting young man.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: He is.
He loves it.
RAY WERT: Speaking of hipsters.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yeah.
RAY WERT: Much more of a hipster than you are.
Still not a real hipster, but hipsteresque.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: He's halfway in between Joel and I on the
hipster scale.
RAY WERT: I could see that.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I'm way down here, and Joel is in "seven
layers of cardigans" hipster.
RAY WERT: And the direct response
was Top Gear Australia.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Good.
RAY WERT: So you--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I nailed it.
RAY WERT: That would mean you got one, two, three, four--
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Seven--
RAY WERT: --five.
You got five correct out of 10.
Congratulations.
You are top of our completely nonexistent leader board.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Pass/fail, I think I passed.
RAY WERT: Yes.
If it were a pass/fail test, Rutledge Wood would have
absolutely passed.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Just barely passed.
Hey, thanks for having me.
RAY WERT: Absolutely.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: I had a great time.
RAY WERT: Thank you.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Anytime you want me to come back here to
this place, I will come.
RAY WERT: Thanks.
And notice how he didn't say come back to the show, just
come back to this place.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: Yeah, I didn't say I'd do the show again, but
I will hang out here gladly.
RAY WERT: Thank you, everyone.
Remember to follow us on Twitter at Jalopnik as well as
also at the @Drive TV Twitter account.
Thanks, and good night.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: You didn't even mention Facebook.
You're full of [BLEEP].
RAY WERT: [BLEEP].
And at Jalopnik on Facebook at facebook.com/jalopnik.
[LAUGHTER]
RAY WERT: And it's not even pointed at me, and I'm a--
MALE SPEAKER: Well, that's life.
That's life.
RUTLEDGE WOOD: How'd we do?
Do we need to do any pickups?