TODAY IN OUR RELATIONSHIP
REBOOT WE ARE TALKING ABOUT IF
YOU ARE DATING A DUD.
HAVE YOU DATED A DUD BEFORE?
I HAVE NOT CONFIRM OR DENY.
I HAVE BEEN MARRIED 26 YEARS SO
IT HAS BEEN A LONG TIME.
I KNOW MY HUSBAND SAID WHAT DO
YOU KNOW ABOUT DATING?
NOT MUCH, I HOPE.
THERE ARE WARNING SIGNS TO
LOOK FOR.
ABSOLUTELY.
I PICKED SEVEN SIGNS THAT YOU
ARE DATING A DUD.
WHEN WE SAY DUD THIS IS EQUAL
OPPORTUNITY DUDNESS.
THEY ARE MEN AND WOMEN.
WARNING SIGN NUMBER ONE IS THAT
YOUR FRIENDS DON'T LIKE THIS
PERSON.
IT TAKES A WHILE FOR THEM TO
TELL YOU.
SOMETIMES WE HEAR OURSELVES
RATIONALIZING THIS PERSON TO
OUR FRIENDS.
YOU DON'T KNOW THIS PERSON LIKE
I DO.
LISTEN TO YOUR FRIENDS.
FRIENDS SPEAK UP.
YOU KNOW THIS PERSON BETTER
THAN ANYONE ELSE.
WARNING SIGN NUMBER TWO
COMES AFTER NUMBER ONE.
YOU MAKE EXCUSES FOR THIS
PERSON'S BEHAVIOR.
YOU SAY HE JUST HAD A BAD DAY
OR SHE DOESN'T LIKE CROWDS OR
BOYS WILL BE BOYS.
RED FLAG.
YOU SHOULD NOT BE MAKING
EXCUSES FOR THE SIGNIFICANT
OTHER.
WHAT KIND OF EXCUSES WILL YOU
HAVE TO MAKE DOWN THE ROAD?
PART OF THAT IS NOT
RESPECTING THINGS YOU LIKE.
WARNING SIGN NUMBER THREE IS
IF THIS PERSON DOES NOT RESPECT
THE THINGS YOU LIKE.
NOT EVERYBODY LIKES THE SAME
STUFF.
EXACTLY.
SAY YOU LOVE SAVING THE WHALES,
IT DOESN'T MEAN YOUR PARTNER
HAS TO LOVE THOSE THINGS BUT
YOUR
PARTNER HAS TO RESPECT YOU LIKE
THOSE THINGS.
WARNING SIGN NUMBER FOUR
THEY DON'T ASK YOU QUESTIONS.
THEY DON'T ASK QUESTIONS.
WHAT I MEAN BY QUESTIONS ARE
MEANINGFUL QUESTIONS.
NOT QUESTIONS LIKE WHAT IS UP
OR HOW WAS YOUR DAY?
QUESTIONS ABOUT YOUR DREAMS AND
HOPES AND FEARS.
THINGS THAT YOU ARE PASSIONATE
ABOUT.
WARNING SIGN IF YOUR PARTNER
IS NOT WILLING TO LISTEN THAT
IS A
RED FLAG.
THIS IS THREE MARRIED PEOPLE
WHO HAVE NO IDEA WHAT THEY ARE
DOING.
WHAT IS NUMBER FIVE?
THEIR IDEA IS ALWAYS THE
BEST IDEA.
WE KNOW AS HAPPILY MARRIED
PEOPLE ON THE PANEL
RELATIONSHIPS ARE ALL ABOUT THE
WE AND NOT THE ME.
IF YOU ARE DATING SOMEONE WHO
BELIEVES THEIR IDEA IS THE BEST
IDEA AND THEY ARE DEFENSIVE
WHEN YOU HAVE AN IDEA IT IS A
BIG RED FLAG.
DEFENSIVENESS PREDICTS DIVORCE.
WARNING SIGN NUMBER SIX IS
POTENTIALLY DANGEROUS.
IF YOUR PARTNER PUTS YOU
DOWN IN ANY WAY.
A LOT OF US RECOGNIZE THE
WARNING SIGNS OF PHYSICAL
ABUSE.
PUTTING EACH OTHER DOWN AND
CONTROLLING YOU, THOSE ARE
EMOTIONAL ABUSIVE BEHAVIORS.
BIG, RED FLAGS.
YOU NEED TO GET OUT.
WHAT IS THE LAST ONE?
THEY COMPARE YOU TO OTHERS.
IF YOUR PARTNER IS COMPARING
YOU TO OTHER PEOPLE THAT IS A
BIG RED FLAG.
GREAT PARTNERS LIFT EACH OTHER
UP AND AFFIRM ONE ANOTHER.
THEY LOVE YOU FOR WHO YOU ARE.
IF YOU ARE BEING COMPARED TO
SOMEONE ELSE THAT IS A RED
FLAG.
A GUY WE BOTH KNOW, AN OLD
COLLEAGUE AT THE UNIVERSITY OF
ST. THOMAS HAS WRITTEN A BOOK
THAT MIGHT BE HELPFUL.
INTENTIONAL DATING.
GETTING RID OF LIARS, LOSERS
AND LEMONS.
THIS BOOK HAS GREAT TIPS IF YOU
ARE IN A DATING PHASE.
IT HELPS YOU RECOGNIZE SIGNS SO
YOU DON'T COMMIT YOUR LIFE TO
THE WRONG PERSON.
IT IS NEVER TOO LATE TO MAKE
THE RIGHT CHOICE.