Hey guys, it's me Veralyn.
So New York City has shaped so much of who I am that semi-randomly I decided to book
flights to the Mid-West.
I went to Kansas City and Minneapolis in search of discovering what it may be like if I grew
up there.
First observation, I'd probably be married, and maybe even divorced by now.
I married when I was 17.
My mom and dad had to sign for me.
My dad wouldn't sign for me, so he didn't come to the wedding.
You've been married, you've already been divorced.
Would you say- you're still young- so would you say that that's something that happens
a lot here?
People getting married young?
Um, yes I think so.
A lot of the people I know.
One thing with me was um, I was pregnant too.
So you're 23 I'm looking at you like, oh my God you're married?
Right?
Um, I wouldn't say a lot of people do around here.
But in our home town everyone's married like senior year of high school.
Yeah in our hometown, but I wouldn't say here in the cities, that's very common.
Maybe more common than it would be in New York.
They think it's a place that people get married when they're 22.
Isn't that the case?
That's not necessarily the case, you get a lot of people who get back here from undergrad
and they take their time, so that stereotype doesn't necessarily hold true in all cases.
The fact that is the Bible Belt there is a type of religious, you know, philosophy that
comes into how you practice your engagement with other people and relationships, dating,
or anything, marriage- that would become a huge factor into it.
And ah, I think people don't necessarily want to wait as long to find that and make it work
in one way or another.
Um, is that because you have to wait until marriage to have sex?
I think some people are like that.
Some people, but that's not like, the reason we want to get married, that's just like,
a nice perk.
Yeah I mean, you're not going to buy a car, just because they're air conditioning, right?
Now while men might not always be stepping up when it comes to birth control, it's definitely
not unique to the Midwest.
But in Kansas City, it didn't seem like they were just being neglectful.
A lot of men here wan't children.
Why?
I have no idea.
They've got money to raise them?
I really don't- in my situation yes, but I don't know.
Where do you think that comes from, "I want to have a kid?"
Where do you think that comes from?
Um, I'm getting older.
That's where it's really coming from.
Cause I don't want to be like 50 and have like a five year old kid.
You're 29?
Yeah.
So I'll be 30 in September.
My clock is ticking.
A couple of people- my friends- they do not mess with condoms or anything of that nature.
So I would probably say like on hand, he's only used it a couple times.
What about you personally?
Me personally?
I'm not a fan of them either.
Ha, I am not a fan of them because I just, I don't want this to come off a bad way but
to me they're just not comfortable.
They're very uncomfortable, like so I don't like to wear them.
So do you have any kids?
No, no kids.
So what has been your game plan to make sure that you don't have kids?
I've almost had kids like four times, like, four times.
I was really just disappointed in my myself because at the end of the day, you know the
first time I'm like I understand.
The second time I'm like "really?"
you know.
The third time, after that I'm like okay I'm just being reckless.
And finally, one of the biggest developments for me, if I had been in either of these two
cities, I probably would have been in an interracial relationship by now.
Do you think that there's more interracial dating that happens here?
Why?
Um, just because there's different people that come here everywhere for business.
I don't think dating here in Minneapolis is very prominent, but for me, being a Black
woman wanting a Black man.
But then, if I was not to succeed with the guy I'm with, then I would have to tailor
my wants.
What do you mean tailor?
I would have to go outside the box: another race, um another social- I'm not crossing-
another socioeconomic status.
I could possibly date a mechanic.
Here living in Minneapolis, if you want to date out here as a Black woman, or anybody,
but especially as a Black woman, you do need to be open to dating outside of your race.
A lot of the Black men that I know out here are either taken- you know who are really
good, smart, professional- so that is what you are faced with.
But there's a plethora of other nationalities here in Minneapolis, um so one thing that
you'll find here are couples that come from different heritages.
So yes I've discovered that the Midwest is more than just The Wizard of Oz and farms.
But obviously these are just assumptions, and it's hard to say what I'd really be going
through if I grew up there.
How do you meet women?
Um, right here- we just give them money, and they do whatever we want.
So hopefully, not that.