what's poppin peeps?
so, there are many people who have noticed that I am Mexican
so naturally, I have also been asked if I can speak Spanish
and my answer is...
no
let me explain
I'm Chicana, which means I was born in the U.S.
but my parents were born in Mexico
I was born in Los Angeles, California
and it's common for Chicanos not to speak well in Spanish
because, duh, we weren't born in Mexico
and many of you have requested I do a video in Spanish
so that's what I am going to try and do today
specifically, I'm gonna get ready
I'm gonna go to a friend's birthday party
I don't know how to say it in Spanish, but in English it's called a, "get ready with me"
look at me
so, we have a lot to do
so before everything, first I'm going to wash my body
because like my mom always told me growing up
I smell likes rotting buttcheeks
honestly, like...
I don't know what to say, like...
I think in English, not in Spanish so I don't know what I want to say
so whenever I shower, I always sing a song
so I have to sing a song in Spanish
and I have the perfect song...
for the people who want to know what mask this is
it's the skin of my victims
so I didn't wash my hair because, um...
I'm nasty
*raps about being nasty*
how do you say...?
I'm playing???
I'm playingggg
I didn't wash my hair because it takes 6 hours to dry
The party starts in three hours and um...
I'm naked, and I still haven't bought her a gift...
this is my life
so I'm gonna use-
*my neighbor taking a dump*
so I'm gonna use this cream
honestly I thought this video idea would be fun, but honestly...
I'm stressed
I feel like I can't make jokes because my mind doesn't
think in Spanish, I think in English
It makes me think of people who come to this country without knowing English
and they can't-
they can't express themselves how they want because they don't know the language
I'm putting cream on my undereye circles because-
I'm putting cream on my undereye circles
because like my Uncle said, I look like a raccoon
more specifically, a dead raccoon
that got run over 20 times by a truck
so I'm gonna part my hair down the middle like Moses part-
I don't know how to say, "red sea"
I shouldn't have to explain the story of Moses because if you don't already know it...
satan
IT'S A JOKE ILY
so the first thing I'm gonna do. I think you say, "humidify"?
I'm gonna humidify?
my witch hair
also I got some white hairs, and now I really look like a witch
so I'm gonna do two braids, and you know you did it right if you look like La India Maria
and then I put on a hat-
so I can-
so I-
I'm not a siNnEr
so the last thing I'm gonna do is use perfume
*when you walk in after your dad*
I almost DIED
so this is my, um...
how do you say, "outfit"?
jacket? no, wait-
anyway so this is what I'm wearing to the birthday party
so usually, when I finish my videos I say, "alright ya'll"
but I can't say it cuz I have to speak Spanish
and honestly, this was way harder than I thought it was going to be
I know I don't speak Spanish perfectly
but I tried my best :')
and I don't want ya'll in the comments like-
"oh my gosh she can't even speak Spanish asdfghijkl"
*continues to struggle in spanish*
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thank you so much for watching this video
and I hope you have a great day