and some people wonder why use YouTube couples as examples of unhealthy
relationships in my videos what is up everybody this is Chris from the rewired
soul where we talk about the problem but focus on the solution and if you're new
to my channel my channel is all about mental health and what I like to do is
pull different topics from pop culture to try to teach you how to improve your
mental and emotional well-being so for any of that stuff makes you subscribe
and bring that notification about and for everybody who has signed up over on
patreon at the $10 tier and above I am starting the monthly group calls the
last Thursday of this month it's gonna be the last Thursday of every month so I
just made a post over on patreon I also opened up the private Facebook group so
make sure that you go check that info out and if you would like to get
involved and be part of this group monthly call make sure you head over to
patreon and check it out it's always down in my description I'll put it in
the pin comment as well so yeah a lot of you know I've been getting some flack
lately for using examples from YouTube as what an unhealthy relationship looks
like people are coming out beside ways but this morning one of my most
wonderful subscribers Josephine she actually has a YouTube channel as well I
will link it down below but she tagged me in a post on Twitter from Millie Bobby
Brown from Stranger Things and I was just appalled so here's a clip right here he's not creepy (Millie Bobby Brown) he's
in love with her and it's okay so I'm obsessed with it I've been watching it
absolutely banging Netflix by the way I know everybody's okay I know everybody's
a stalker why would you support that no like he's in love with her and it's just
like just watch the show and don't judge me on my opinion you guys you guys this
this right here is the exact reason why I talk about this stuff
people not even just young people but people in general need better examples
of healthy relationships that they're seeing on
regular basis like oh my god you guys if my son if my son posted this to social
media and I saw it me and him would have a long talk a long talk all right like
you guys there's a reason why I do what I do but part of it is because I realize
this is a great way for my son to learn things my son loves watching YouTube he
loves watching movies and stuff like that
we sit down and we talk about it like okay do you think this is good do you
think this is bad why explain it to me then I talked to him about it and say
okay this is healthy this is unhealthy right there's a reason why my son
doesn't watch the palm brothers and that's not even a choice of mine he just
doesn't do it alright so with our children are looking at unhealthy
relationships whether they're on Netflix or they're on YouTube we need to sit
down and talk to him about it but not only that I know like for for the vast
majority of my audience my typical age range for this channel is not like 18 to
34 alright so this is the primetime where people are looking for love
looking for the person that they're gonna marry and we need to discuss what
healthy versus unhealthy relationships look like in my video that I just made
about Bionic pig I talked about it there's a right way or wrong way to do
everything right so when we're looking at love when we're looking at
relationships okay there is healthy love and there is unhealthy love there's
healthy relationships and there's unhealthy relationships for those of you
who don't know about the show you over on Netflix or you haven't watched any of
my other review videos like there's gonna be some minor spoilers while I
discuss this but for the most part like you get the gist of it just from
watching the trailer all right but here let me summarize this show for you real
quick okay to give you some context as to what Millie Bobby Brown think is
healthy love okay Jo Goldberg the main character meets what if you're back at
the book stock bookstore that he's a manager of all right and he becomes
obsessed with her immediately all right we hear his first-person point of view
and he becomes obsessed with her he leaves that night and he goes and just
starts looking up all our information looking at her over on you know
Instagram and Facebook and all these other thing
he starts stalking her because that same night he shows up at her house after he
found it okay Joe is not only a stalker but the guy is a murderer okay
even the actor Penn Badgley has been posting on Twitter saying like yo do not
be attracted to this guy Joe this is not good like you guys like that is what I
deal with on a daily basis I'm like looking at this stuff I'm like you think
this is a role model you think this type of behavior is okay and like trust me I
get it I get it my life was chaotic for the first like 26 years of my life hell
if I'm being honest first 28 years of my life like a few years after getting
sober right like we need to look at these things and really understand what
healthy and unhealthy is so if you are attracted to a guy who is stalking and
murdering that's an issue so one of the things is that we need to talk about
when it's coming to healthy and unhealthy like you are Netflix I
understand why people are conflicted I understand now part of it is is that I
know a lot a lot of people think that Joe is attractive right now let me know
this down in the comments below because I've done it too I've done it with women
in the past - I have justified the fact that they are attractive really
attractive or like even in my case I thought I was like man I'd have no idea
why she's dating me way out of my league I think that about twisting all the time
I fooled her somehow but like the more what I've noticed with
humans in general the more attractive a person is the more BS that will put up
with like let me know down in the comments below if you've had a past
relationship whether it was just a hookup or a long-term relationship
whatever it is let me know did you ever stay in a toxic
relationship or even get into a toxic relationship with somebody that you
weren't even like that like mentally attracted to just because their physical
attractiveness was really high let me know I want to know if I'm the only guy
who does this right so I understand why people find him attractive but the thing
is people think that his obsession is a good thing like you guys let me tell you
this if you are like in the like courting phase if you're just starting
to see somebody you know you're just sorry
today like I've mentioned this in other videos before if they are obsessive that
is a red flag that's not a good thing so a lot of us who struggle with you
know like we don't get enough attention we feel like this need you know we need
somebody around all the time we hate being lonely we're afraid to be lonely
we are more likely to find somebody that will give us an unhealthy type of life
we're more likely to find somebody who will blow up our phone all the time but
these are signs of a bad relationship okay because the other person that
you're seeing they don't know how to turn that off right so yeah maybe it's
nice in the beginning when they're showing you all this attention but when
you need some space they will freak out like I've dated women like that like
where I'm at work and they will blow up my phone where are you oh my god I'm
working you know what I mean and this is why we need to work on our own mental
health and we need to work on our own fear of abandonment because typically
with someone's blowing your phone up like that it is because they have a fear
of abandonment or they're having like irrational fears and anxieties all right
but anyways like we're talking about Jo and back from you let's move past the
murder let's move past the stalking and talk about some other issues in their
relationship going through each other's phones going through each other's phones
like you guys that is not healthy at all if you're in a relationship where you
have to go through each other's phones you really need to sit back and
reevaluate that I have been in relationships for years for years where
half of the relationship was trying to figure out each other's passwords to our
phone and going in there and we were constantly catching each other doing
stuff right talking to other people are doing whatever like that like that
wasn't healthy that was not healthy so like Tristan and
I we've been together for over two years now never gone through each other's
phones not with that intent but like it's also nice because I'm not a scumbag
guy anymore so I can hand her my phone anytime and I'm not afraid of what she
might find so like we were driving on Mike here look up directions or find you
know the place that we're going to go eat or whatever I can handle my phone
I'm not worried about who's gonna be texting me but both Jo and back
we're snooping each other you guys that is a red flag
for an unhealthy relationship all right the other thing that we needed
to talk about is the baggage from previous relationships so one of even
though Joe kind of hid it a little bit better like one of Joe's biggest issues
was his previous relationships right Candice cheated on him so it made him
extra paranoid about back and that's one of the reasons why he went through her
stuff all the time now in Beck's case a lot of her baggage came from her
alcoholic father fear of abandonment and all sorts of things like that right and
that kind of paranoia okay now we all have baggage don't get me wrong we all
have baggage but if you see my other videos where I'm talking about
relationships and couples and things like that like you need to work on that
stuff it's not fair to bring that and put that
on somebody else and if you are because you're so working through the process
apologize for it say hey I'm sorry I'm dealing with some other stuff like you
need to realize that a lot of things are you issues and not them issues all right
if you're paranoid because your ex cheated on you do not put that on your
new partner and if you do because you're still having problems managing your
emotions like you need to apologize that person say hey this isn't about you
I did some videos with my mom about relationships and we talked about how 90
percent of arguments are based on things that didn't even happen in that moment
right so like a lot of things are bringing up old fights but a lot of it
is bringing in baggage from the past now let me tell you this the only good thing
that back and Joe did that entire series for their relationship was go to therapy
and even that was terrible you know why because Beck was getting freaky with the
therapist and Joe when we started seeing the therapist to snoop on back some more
all right so that wasn't even that great okay so when I see somebody like Millie
Bobbie Brown saying oh oh this isn't a bad relationship
he just loves her like no baby girl that ain't good that ain't love and the last
thing I'll talk about is have any of you seen the show love on Netflix they just
had the final season last year it's three seasons
if you haven't checked it out I absolutely love that show because it is
a perfect example of a terrible relationship right so for example one of
the characters is like struggling with addiction and they get sober but then
the person that she's seeing Gus he's codependent so it is a perfect
example of a few things codependency and why you don't date your first year sober
all right but anyways I did some reviews on the show love a long time ago and
like I talked about how this show is a perfect example of an unhealthy
relationship and going through my comments and seeing how many people
think that that is healthy just it hurts my soul okay so again I'm gonna keep
making videos I'm gonna keep making videos I'm gonna keep using youtubers as
an example and if any youtubers out there are watching this start showing a
better example of what healthy relationships look like or what taking
care of your mental health looks like alright because you have kids like
Millie Bobby Brown as well as a bunch of other people watching YouTube and
thinking that unhealthy things are healthy things alright so thanks again
uh Joseph bean for showing me this Millie Bobby Brown video because I heard
about it and I hadn't seen now I'm like oh I need to make a video about this
though thanks again Josephine but again let me know down in the comments below
like have you ever dated somebody because you were extremely physically
attracted to them but it made you lower the bar and other aspects of
relationship alright or let me know some of the other questions I asked you in
this video alright anyways that's all I got for this video if you like this
video please give it a thumbs up if you new make sure you subscribe and bring
that notification Bell because I make a ton of videos and a huge huge thank you
to everybody supporting the channel over on patreon you are all amazing and don't
forget we are doing the monthly group called the last Thursday of every single
month and make sure you go join the private Facebook group alright thanks
again for watching I'll see you next time