(playful music)
- [Teacher] Alana, what noise does a cat make?
- Meow?
- [Teacher] Very good!
Graham, what noise does a cow make?
- Mooo.
- [Woman] Excellent!
Petey, F-what noise does a bug make?
(loud rip)
- [Petey Voiceover] F-what kind of stupid-ass question
is that?
Last I checked, bugs don't make noise.
This is some Zen Buddhist koan about one-hand-clappin'
John Cage 4'33-type bullshit, am I right?
(babies cooing)
- [Teacher] Wanna give it a try, Petey?
(horror music)
- [Grasshopper] Hey, kid.
(oriental music)
Woof.
- [Teacher] Come on, Petey.
Give it a try.
What noise does a bug make?
- Woof.
- [Teacher] Aww, Petey, you're just not getting
animal noises, huh?
(crying) - [Petey Voiceover] What?
Are you kidding me?
I nailed that.
- [Teacher] Okay, maybe somebody didn't get enough sleep
in at naptime?
(cage closing)
(lullaby music)
(oriental music)
- You!
Why'd you play me like that?
I said what you said and got it wrong.
(smooth jazz)
- I said, "Woof," because the What Noise game
is a real zonk to the head.
- Huh?
- They're not teaching you to speak.
They're teaching you to categorize.
Not all bugs make the same noise, ya dig?
Maybe this little buggie just wants to woof.
- I think it's fun to go "woof."
- See, that's thinking for yourself.
And teachers should be teaching you how to think.
Not how to recite back the answers they wanna hear,
Patty Cakes.
- I like to play Patty Cakes.
Wait.
Am I a conformist because I like to play Patty Cakes?
- If you like Patty Cakes, play Patty Cakes.
But don't play Patty Cakes because they told you
to play Patty Cakes, you dig?
- Umm... yeah.
I dig.
- Just because someone is in a position
of authority, it doesn't mean they have all the answers.
- Even you?
- Like the Buddhist said,
if you see me on the edge of the windowsill,
squash me.
- Okay.
Squash bugs.
- Metaphorically.
- Right.
Yeah, I knew that.
- And if you wanna say "woof," say "woof."
- Woof.
- Also.
Chemtrails have chemicals that the government
sprays from aircrafts to control the populous.
Good bye!
(mysterious music)
- I learned more in one session with that bug
than I've learned from all of the iPad
object permanence games my parents downloaded from me,
combined.
Not the chemtrail stuff, all the stuff before that.
About not letting school get in the way
of your education and stuff.
- Hey!
Baby.
Before I go, there's one more thing I think you should know.
Always, and I mean always be sure t-
(squish)
(baby crying)
- [Mother] Oh drat.
Where'd it go?
Did I get it?
(baby crying)
(oriental music)
(baby cooing)
- [Mother] I dunno if I got it.
Did I get it?
- She didn't get it.
Some people never do.
(inspirational music)
- Yoo-hoo...
(rolls tongue)
(oriental music)