Welcome back to my Dark Corner of this Sick World.
We’re looking at Crash!
Not to be confused with Crash. Or Crash.
'The car crash is our liberation of sexual energy.'
Or Crash...
'We crash into each other just so we can feel something.'
The film opens with a tutorial in how to film a car crash without having the cars involved on the road at the same time.
Cut carefully, get the actors to throw themselves around, and the resulting crash will still seem as if it comes from nowhere.
#BOOM#
#BIG BADDA BOOM#
And this is just the first as the film lives up to its name,
#KABOOM#
thanks to the ghost car.
Elsewhere, Sue Lyon is the trophy wife of Jose Ferrer.
‘I don’t want you to ever leave this home again.’
I imagine it was hard enough getting her in there in the first place.
Ferrer’s Marc Denne is haunted by the memory of a crash that left him in a wheelchair,
#SCREECHY TIRES#
#CRASH#
for which he blames his wife Kim,
so much so that he decides to kill her in a plot worthy of Columbo.
#WOOF WOOF WOOF#
That is a well-trained dog.
‘You did it, didn’t you? Yes you did.’
but Kim has survived.
‘You didn’t kill her did you, boy?’
Bad dog.
Meanwhile with the ghost car.
#BANGY BANG BANG#
These cars blow up very easily.
#FIRE GOES ROAR!#
Kim has lost her memory and is found by Director Charles Band appearing a cameo,
so far from her car that the cops can’t find it, so they can’t identify her either.
‘Who am I?’
The only thing that might help is a strange keyring she bought in a yard sale from Reggie Nalder.
‘What is this?’
and the attached idol which has strange powers.
Your first day telekinetic is always a learning curve.
Back with the ghost car.
Kim’s doctor tries to find out more about the idol, from John Carradine.
‘He’s an unpleasant character dedicated to hatred, revenge and violence.’
Who recommends Marc, who is an expert in the subject.
‘I may be able to help you but I’ll have to keep this piece for a few days, do my own checking.’
Which isn’t a coincidence, Kim bought it for him, it’s actually quite neat.
He borrows the idol to research it, but…
working through the idol, Kim takes vengeance on the dog that savaged her.
Leaving Marc no choice but to kill her. But first...
#KA-POW#
The ghost car cuts a swathe through the movie.
Marc makes contact with Kim.
‘Why don’t I pick you up, we can go out to my place.’
who doesn’t remember him but is never the less unbelievably trusting of a total stranger.
‘I’d love that.’
No matter how suspicious he sounds.
‘Looking forward to meeting you.’
At Marc’s house.
‘Don’t feel sorry for me Kim’
Slipped up there.
‘Kim? You called me Kim. Why?’
Busted.
‘I don’t know. I suppose you remind me of someone.’
Again, Kim too trusting of suspicious strangers, and it looks like she’s going to die for it.
‘It was my dog.’
It’s important to me you know why this is happening.
Meanwhile...
#CAR CRASH SOUNDS#
By this point you must be wondering what the deal with the ghost car is
and just as Kim is locked in a sauna, the police find her car.
‘Just got this strange feeling like it’s ready to jump out at you.’
and put the key in the ignition.
So here’s what I think happened;
producer/director Charles Band wanted to make a film with a Blues Brothers level of car crashes
and he had a pretty decent story into which those crashes could be made to fit,
but, only at the end, by which time the audience may have lost interest.
‘Doesn’t seem to matter any more’
Charles Band is not a man to let a thing like that get in the way, so now...
All the car crashes we’ve seen, peppered through the movie are flash-forwards to this point,
as the ghost car races to save Kim.
#SAME EXPLOSION SOUND AS EARLIER#
So now we get to see them all again through a hazy filter.
7 minutes worth.
They enliven the film but once was enough, they’re very confusing in context,
and, while it’s nice Kim can save herself, she kills everyone she meets on the way.
'It's OK, you are alright.'
With all this going on, the climax is a chase scene between a camero and an electric wheelchair,
Guess who wins…
and the car pounces.
#BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM!#
But what about the opening scene,
this has to be where Marc was injured but we don’t see that half of the crash
and this does bring up an issue.
Throughout, the ghost car is barely involved in the crashes because,
in a low budget film you can’t afford to damage your lead car until the end.
‘Absolutely foolproof’
So credit to Charles Band for making a film about car crashes out of a story with no car crashes
and for not crashing the car that keeps crashing.
#ANOTHER BIG EXPLOSION SOUND#
Thanks for watching. For less confusing storytelling check out my books, there’s a link in the description below.
What are your favourite car movies? Let us know in the comments below.
'I've had it, you know.'