>>A key component of growth lies in self-awareness. It’s difficult to begin making positive
changes if you aren’t first aware of the need for change. In 1969, Joe Luft and Harry
Ingham came up with a visual graphic to illustrate that self-awareness is derived from two sources.
Those two sources are self-reflection and feedback from others. Luft and Ingham combined
their first names to call this visual graphic the Johari Window. Using the Johari Window,
you can imagine self-awareness as a window with four panes. The first pane is called
the public area. This pane—it contains information that is known both to the self and others.
People with more information in the public area are able to share deeply about themselves
with others. This sharing often leads to feeling more connected, and to experiencing the relief
that comes from openness. The second pane is the blind spot. Information contained in
this pane is known to others, but not known to the self. Have you ever been around someone
who behaved obnoxiously, and everyone else saw the problem except the person who was
being obnoxious? For that person, their obnoxiousness is hidden in their blind spot. Others know
it is an issue, but the self remains unaware. We each have those pieces of ourselves that
others recognize, but we don’t yet recognize for ourselves. The key to learning about information
in your blind spot is in receiving feedback from others. The third pane is the hidden
area. Information contained in the hidden area is not known to others, but is known
to the self. This area often consists of information that the person feels ashamed of, regrets,
or is scared to trust others with. When people have too much information in their hidden
area, they may become isolated and have difficulties getting close to others. They may fear that
if they reveal parts of their hidden area, they might get hurt or no one will like them
anymore. Intimacy and healing often come when people are able to build trusting relationships
in which they can begin to share aspects of their hidden area. The fourth pane is the
unknown area. This part of the self is not known to others, but it is also not yet known
to the self. For example, if you had been particularly moody, you and others may have
noticed this. However, neither you nor others may understand why you have been feeling moody.
This means that the cause of your moodiness is in the unknown area. As you seek to increase
yourself awareness, pursue your two sources of information. Use self-reflection to increase
your awareness of your feelings, your thoughts, your behaviors and your impact on others.
Many people find that journaling is a way of helping them engage in self-reflection.
Others find that meditation, prayer or speaking with a counselor aids them in self-reflection.
Also, use feedback from others to increase your awareness. While feedback can sometimes
be painful to receive, remind yourself that information about your blind spot is valuable
to you, since you might never know about that information if someone were not courageous
enough to share it with you. And if you would like to receive more feedback than you currently
do, ask for it from people you trust, and who you know will be honest with you. And
when they do share feedback, work hard to remain non-defensive and open to hearing what
they say. Finally, as you pursue self-awareness, you might occasionally remind yourself of
the Johari Window. It is a helpful visual means of remembering the ways in which the
self is known.