- It's a goose foot?
Oh dear God.
(upbeat music)
- Hey this is Gabrielle Union.
- And Jessica Alba, now we are here with Men's Health
and what are we doing Gab?
- We're either going to eat disgustingly healthy food or--
- Answer a dare or a question or something.
- Or something.
- Or something, let's see.
First course, beverages.
- Usually our favorite.
- It usually is, all right let's see.
Kopi luwak coffee, also known as cat poo coffee.
(record scratch)
- Is that what it says?
- Mmm-hmm, coffee beans eaten,
and pooped out by the Asian palm civet Cat.
Okay so the question is, you play a cop on TV.
You have to do an annual review at work
for these other TV cops.
Rank them from best to worst.
Oh, I'll answer this.
I mean I'm definitely not eating poop coffee
ever in my life.
- [Woman] You don't want to smell it?
- I mean.
- Smell the poop Jess, smell that (beep) literally.
Smell that (beep).
- Smells like coffee.
- Less like (beep)?
- Less like poopies, I just don't like cats.
So like you lost me at cat.
(cat meowing)
From best to worst Donnie Wahlberg, Ice-T, Andy Samberg,
Mariska Hargitay, Mariska Hargitay.
She's a babe and she's super smart
and I would say that she is the top.
Next, Ice-T, just because I just think he's funny.
Donnie Wahlberg,
because I used to like New Kids On The Block.
Andy Samberg on Brooklyn Nine-Nine,
sorry Andy, you're at the bottom.
(dramatic music)
- You play a cop on TV,
from this list of your former costars
tell us who in your cop car gets to ride shotgun,
who has to sit in the back, and who gets the trunk.
My options are, Kirsten Dunst, Kevin Hart, and Beyonce.
Or drink the cat poop coffee.
That's too easy, let's ...
There's been worse things in my mouth.
- Oh.
(ominous music)
- It's fine, it tastes like coffee.
- Ah, that like hurt my spine.
- And you'll never even know who
I would've stuck in the trunk.
- (laughing) This is a cricket taco.
I think I'm getting hot.
Please rank these other amazing Jessica's
from favorite to least favorite.
Or ...
- Oh, and that really looks like crickets dude.
- Those are (bleep) crickets.
I can't get down.
Here's the thing, I don't like crickets, I don't like cats,
I don't like rodents, I don't like any amphibian,
not into insects, hate birds.
It can live in nature, not around me,
I will not be eating this ever,
unless I had copious amounts of tequila,
and I don't really know what I'm eating,
which is not me right now.
So I'm gonna say, gosh this is really rude.
I like everyone.
(sighing)
You're just like starting some stuff with me
because you know I can't eat this.
Oh dear God.
Sarah Jessica Parker.
Jessica Biel, Jessica Simpson, Jessica Chastain,
I like them all, but, Jesus.
So Jessica Simpson is married to a guy named Eric
that my husband went to college with,
so I've actually spent a lot of time with Simpson.
She has built a billion plus dollar brand,
sort of quietly, which I think is supercool.
- Sarah Jessica Parker, recently posted on Instagram
a fake National Enquirer tabloid
about how her and her husband are having problems
and had a fight and bop bop bop.
She's like, "We've been together for 27 years,
been married for 22 years, happily."
I really appreciate that she said that,
so she's gonna be number two.
Jessica Biel, I have known since we were 11 or 12.
When she came out for her first pilot season,
she actually lived in our apartment in Burbank,
with my dad and my brother, her and her mom.
She auditioned and I'm pretty sure she got work
because look at her now, so she'll be number three
and the only reason why Jessica Chastain is last,
is because I don't know her, that's it.
But they're all great.
- That's very diplomatic.
All right I got a worm taco.
Yup.
- I can't even look at it.
- Yup, that's a, that's a--
- [Jessica] I actually can't.
- [Gabrielle] That's absolutely a worm taco.
- [Jessica] No, I can't look at it.
- Okay.
Would you rather be retweeted by the president
or unfollowed by Hillary Clinton.
Okay, obviously, I'm not gonna eat worm tacos,
so Hillary, okay, unfollow me.
- Jellied chicken.
Jelly chicken.
Three of your former costars get busted on your watch,
who do you break out and why?
Chris Evans, Robert DeNiro, or Jason Statham.
I mean I could try the jelly.
I'm gonna get into this
because I feel like I'm probably not gonna--
- Don't you try to dig that chicken out of that gelatin.
(both laughing)
You gotta get that gelatin in there.
(ominous music)
- I mean it tastes like cold chicken.
You know the chicken that you leave in the fridge
and it gets that jelly?
That's all it is.
- Okay.
Jelly pork.
You've played a cheerleader and you've worked with DMX,
do an impression of DMX doing a cheer.
So there was this cheer that we,
I was a cheerleader in eighth grade,
DMX he be like,
"What up Gab!
It's your boy X!
Get it together boys, get it together!
G-E-T-I-T-T-O-G-E-T-H-E-R grr!
That's what it, what's good!
Ah!"
There you go, not gonna eat jelly pork.
(Jessica laughing)
- Goose web?
It's a goose foot?
Oh dear God, that's a goose foot.
With nails.
- Does it taste like chicken?
- Of your fellow Hollywood entrepreneurs,
rank from favorite to least favorite brands.
Oh Jesus, this is (bleep) up.
Kylie Jenner Cosmetics, Gwyneth Paltrow's Goop,
or Rihanna's Fenty line.
Or this?
Would you get in there?
- Oh I would just answer the question.
- Oh God.
I mean there's joints,
like you can see where it's like ...
- It's the little piece of broccoli
that I find the most offensive.
- I mean does people just eat the skin?
(people offscreen laughing)
- Wait is that it's heel?
Is that the goose heel that she's getting into right now?
- I think it's the achilles.
I think I just popped the achilles.
I'm gonna smell it.
I just can't get down with this.
Ah, (bleep).
I'm just having a hard time (laughing).
So I can't do it.
I'm gonna say, as a consumer,
how I view these brands,
Gwyneth Paltrow is an amazing curator of beautiful things
and experiences.
Kylie Jenner, Kris Jenner is an incredible business mind
and she has--
- That's the momma.
- I know, but Kris is behind all of her girls
and I can't not thank Kris for being
such an incredible business person.
- What about Kylie?
- I don't know her personally other than she's really young
and she's a mom and she has a great relationship
with her family and I think that's really important.
- Have you tried a lip kit?
- I haven't tried a lip kit.
- [Gabrielle] Okay.
- And Rihanna, I mean she's a force to be reckoned with.
She's incredible, she's a fashion icon.
- She'd grab Kris Jenner, she told you!
- I'd grab Kris Jenner.
- All right, so what do we got?
- [Jessica] Jesus.
- Chicken feet.
M'kay.
Who are you most likely to win a Twitter beef with?
Azealia Banks, 50 Cent, Jim Carey.
Or I can eat chicken feet.
All right well I'm not gonna eat chicken feet so,
some people go the extra mile with their Twitter beefs.
Jim Carey doesn't, so Jim Carey.
Thank you guys so much
for this lovely experience.
(triumphant music)
Funny enough, the least offensive thing is the--
- Cat poo coffee.
- Is the cat poop coffee,
because it just tastes like coffee.
- The least offensive I would say the jelly chicken
because it's literally just cold chicken.
- Most offensive, I mean--
- I couldn't get down with the those worms.
- Yeah, the worms - And the crickets.
- The worm taco.
- Yeah the cricket taco.
- I mean we're taco aficionado's so to really defile tacos
in this way--
- We're just not used to that type of cuisine.
I mean there are many cultures that really like it.
- You know what culture doesn't like it?
Black people culture.
We just don't.
Now the chicken feet, that is part of it,
that's part of us.
I don't do it.
(jazz music)