>> Stephen: LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND.
WE HAVE -- IT IS NOT THE HOLIDAY SEASON WITHOUT THESE TWO
GENTLEMEN. ANDERSON COOPER AND ANDY COHEN
WILL BE OUT HERE IN A LITTLE WHILE.
THEY ARE HOSTING CNN'S NEW YEAR'S ROCK AND EVE, OR
WHATEVER THEY CALL IT. FOUR HOURS OF ANDERSON DRINKING
MORE THAN HE SHOULD. ARE THEY DRINKING?
THEY ARE ALLOWED TO DRINK THIS YEAR.
GOOD FOR THEM. IT JUST MAKES IT MORE
INTERESTING. I WANT TO TELL EVERYBODY OUT
THERE, IF YOU LIKE GOOD MUSIC, STICK AROUND.
LOUIS CATO AND "THE LATE SHOW" BAND WILL BE PERFORMING THIS
EVENING. IF YOU ARE LOOKING FOR A NEW
CHRISTMAS MUSIC TO ADD TO YOUR REPERTOIRE FOR YOUR PARTY OR
HOLIDAY, OUR OWN SANTOS HAS A SONG.
>> IT IS CALLED CHRISTMAS TIME. IT IS MY FIRST SONG IN ENGLISH.
>> Stephen: CHECK IT OUT. IT IS CALLED CHRISTMAS TIME.
IF YOU WATCH THE SHOW, I SPEND MOST OF MY TIME OVER THERE,
SURVEYING THE DAY'S NEWS FOREST, HAND-SELECTING THE MOST TOPICAL
13-FOOT BALSAM FIR, TRIMMING IT WITH THOMAS GLENN PEARL STORY
ORNAMENTS AND JOKE TINSEL, ALL TOPPED WITH A NIEMAN MARCUS GOLD
STAR FINIAL TO PRESENT TO YOU THE SPECTACULAR AND LUMINOUS
CHRISTMAS TREE THAT IS MY MONOLOGUE.
BUT SOMETIMES, WHILE HIDING IN AN INDUSTRIAL PARK FROM THE
POACHERS I RUN WITH, I BRING DOWN A TELEPHONE POLE WITH A
RUSTY CHAINSAW AND BLAST IT WITH SOME GLITTER SHOT OUT OF AN OLD
T-SHIRT CANNON THEN TOP IT WITH A WAD OF DISCARDED DOUBLEMINT
GUM FOIL WRAPPERS TO ROLL OUT THE COMBUSTIBLE DRIFTER'S
HOLIDAY YULE LOG OF NEWS THAT IS MY SEGMENT "MEANWHILE."
MEANWHILE, CALIFORNIA REGULATORS JUST APPROVED RULES TO RECYCLE
WASTEWATER INTO DRINKING WATER, OR AS ONE NEWS OUTLET PUT IT,
WOULD YOU DRINK TOILET WATER? GREAT QUESTION, AND ALSO THE
SLOGAN FOR MICHELOB ULTRA. THIS DECISION IS THE RESULT OF
CALIFORNIA'S RECENT EXTREME DROUGHTS, INCLUDING THE DRIEST
THREE-YEAR PERIOD ON RECORD. IT'S GOTTEN SO DRY IN CALIFORNIA
THAT TIMOTHEE CHALAMET NOW LOOKS LIKE THIS.
AND EVEN THOUGH IT SOUNDS A LITTLE GROSS, THERE'S A
PRECEDENT. CALIFORNIA'S ALREADY BEEN USING
WASTEWATER AS ICE FOR A HOCKEY RINK, WATERING CROPS, AND EVEN
TO MAKE SNOW. AH YES, TOILET SNOW.
REMINDS ME OF MY FAVORITE CHRISTMAS CAROL -- FROSTY THE
SNOWMAN IS WEIRDLY BROWN AND HE SMELLS REAL BAD AND IT MAKES ME
SAD IS THAT A PIECE OF CORN. [CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]
MEANWHILE, TINDER HAS RELEASED A $500 DOLLAR PER MONTH
SUBSCRIPTION. PREVIOUSLY, YOU COULD ONLY GET
HERPES FOR FREE. AMONG OTHER BENEFITS, THE
SUBSCRIPTION ALLOWS PEOPLE TO SEND MESSAGES WITHOUT MATCHING
WITH SOMEONE. FINALLY, A WAY TO TELL THAT
SPECIAL PERSON, "I KNOW YOU EXPRESSED ZERO INTEREST IN ME,
BUT HERE'S A PIC OF MY DONG ANYWAY.
ALSO, I'M BAD WITH MONEY." MEANWHILE, IN ORDER TO COMBAT
SEASONAL AFFECTIVE DISORDER FROM ITS NORTHERN LATITUDE A SWEDISH
CITY ASKED ITS RESIDENTS TO SAY HELLO TO EACH OTHER.
NEW YORK IS ASKING ITS RESIDENTS -- WHAT DO YOU THINK WAS IN THAT
DROP OF WATER THAT JUST WENT IN YOUR MOUTH?
COULD'VE BEEN FROM AN AIR CONDITIONER.
BUT IT IS DECEMBER. MEANWHILE, LOOKS LIKE WE HERE AT
CBS MIGHT BE GETTING SOLD. IT CAME OUT YESTERDAY THAT
WARNER BROTHERS DISCOVERY IS IN TALKS TO MERGE WITH OUR PARENT
COMPANY PARAMOUNT. WHAT EXCITING SYNERGISTICS!
WARNER ALREADY OWNS A TON OF MEDIA PROPERTIES WHILE PARAMOUNT
OWNS ALL THIS STUFF. REALLY LOOKING FORWARD TO THE
NEW MEDIA MEGA-ENTITY -- WARNER-MOUNT PLUS MAX PRIME MAX
WITH SHOWTIME PRIME. UPLUS.
MEANWHILE, ACCORDING TO NEW WILDLIFE RESEARCH, APES MAY
REMEMBER OLD FRIENDS AND FAMILY DECADES LATER AND ALSO DOLPHINS
CAN REMEMBER EACH OTHER'S WHISTLES FOR MORE THAN TWO
DECADES. OF COURSE, SOME DOLPHIN WHISTLES
ARE MORE MEMORABLE THAN OTHERS. MEANWHILE, IN CELEBRITY BAKING
NEWS, TAYLOR SWIFT MADE CINNAMON ROLLS FOR TRAVIS KELCE'S PREGAME
MEAL. NOW, I DO NOT WANT TO QUESTION
TAY-TAY'S LOVE LANGUAGE, BUT THAT IS A BOLD FOOD CHOICE FOR
SOMEONE RIGHT BEFORE A FOOTBALL GAME.
THOUGH IT DOES EXPLAIN TRAVIS KELCE'S THIRD QUARTER NAP.
MEANWHILE, VICTORIA BECKHAM TOOK THE INTERNET BY STORM WHEN SHE
POSTED A VIDEO OF HER HUSBAND DAVID BECKHAM WORKING OUT.
♪ ♪ NOW THOSE ARE SOME PRE-GAME
CINNAMON ROLLS! WE'LL BE RIGHT BACK WITH
ANDERSON COOPER AND ANDY COHEN. ♪ ♪