>> LISTEN, JAMES, WHERE ARE WE GOING?
>> JAMES: JUST YOU WAIT!
I'M TELLING YOU, YOU'RE GOING TO ABSOLUTELY LOVE THIS.
>> OKAY, BECAUSE I JUST CAME HERE TO PROMOTE MY NEW FILM,
"MOTHERLESS BROOKLYN."
>> JAMES: YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, WE'VE GOT PLENTY OF TIME FOR ALL
OF THAT!
GOING TO DO IT.
I PROMISE.
READY?
>> SURE.
ALL THIS SEEMS WEIRDLY FAMILIAR.
OH, NO.
NO, YOU -- WHAT -- WHAT -- WHAT IS THIS?
>> James: THESE ARE THE STAFF OF "THE LATE LATE SHOW."
( LAUGHTER ) WELCOME TO "LATE, LATE SHOW
FIGHT CLUB!" >> IS THIS A JOKE?
>> JAMES: DO I LOOK LIKE I'M JOKING?
>> OH, NO, JAMES -- >> James: OKAY.
AMES.
>> James: LISTEN UP.
THE FIRST RULE OF "LATE, LATE SHOW FIGHT CLUB" IS YOU DO NOT
TALK ABOUT "LATE, LATE SHOW FIGHT CLUB."
>> JAMES, REALLY, PLEASE -- >> JAMES: SHH!
THE SECOND RULE OF "LATE, LATE SHOW FIGHT CLUB" IS--
>> LOOK, LOOK, JAMES, THE FIRST AND SECOND RULE OF
"LATE, LATE SHOW FIGHT CLUB" IS, I'M NOT DOING "LATE, LATE SHOW
FIGHT CLUB," JAMES!
>> JAMES: WHAT?
OH, COME ON!
DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW LONG IT'S TAKEN TO ORGANIZE THIS?
I MEAN, THE STAFF HAVE BEEN TRAINING FOR WEEKS.
MOSTLY.
WELL, NOT HIM.
I TOLD YOU TO BULK UP!
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN DOING?
>> I'M SORRY, WE'VE JUST HA A LOT OF PAPERWORK, AND I HAVE A
LIFE OUTSIDE OF WORK, TOO, SO -- >> JAMES, THERE IS NO WAY I'M
DOING THIS!
>> JAMES: WHY, WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?
>> OH, I DON'T KNOW-- MAYBE THE FACT THAT "FIGHT CLUB" CAME OUT
20 YEARS AGO!
>> JAMES: AND?
I THINK WE'VE ABSORBED THERE ARE BERT WAYS OF EXPRESSING OUR
MASCULINITY AND -- >> JAMES: OH, I GET IT.
I SEE, I SEE.
YOU'RE SCARED, AREN'T YOU?
>> I'M NOT SCARED.
I HAVE SELF-RESPECT.
>> JAMES: ALL RIGHT THEN.
I WANT YOU TO HIT ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN.
>> NO.
I'M NOT HITTING YOU, JAMES.
>> JAMES: INTERESTING.
YOU KNOW, I WATCHED YOUR "INCREDIBLE HULK" THE OTHER
NIGHT.
MORE LIKE THE UN-CREDIBLE HULK!
>> OH, HE GETS AWAY FROM HIS WRITERS AND IT ALL GOES SOUTH.
>> JAMES: YEAH?
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT ELSE I WATCHED.
"AMERICAN HISTORY X."
MORE LIKE AMERICAN HISTORY NEXT!
>> IT JUST KEEPS COMING.
>> JAMES: HEY, GUYS, REMEMBER WHEN WE SAW "BIRDMAN?"
BECAUSE WE CALL IT "TURD MAN," DON'T WE?
HA!
YOU DIDN'T LIKE THAT ONE, DID YOU?
TURD MAN!
COME ON!
LET'S SEE WHAT YOU GOT.
I WANT YOU TO HIT ME AS HARD AS YOU CAN.
AAAHHH!
( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ) >> OKAY, LISTEN, LISTEN, I'M
OUT.
WHO'S COMING WITH ME?
>> ALL OF US.
ALL OF US.
>> I JUST WANTED TO SAY THANK YOU SO MUCH FOR DOING THAT.
LITERALLY, NONE OF US WANTED TO BE HERE.
>> IT WAS A LOSS OF CONTROL.
'S FINE.
IT'S FINE.
TELL US ABOUT THE MOVIE.
>> IT'S MY MAGNUS OPUS.
I DIRECTED, WROTE IT.