Anything that you guys argue about yet?
Yeah.
Today, we were talking about me taking his last name.
Oh.
I was like, I have my degree.
I have my doctorate.
Like, I've been an LOA for 29 years.
It means a lot to me.
And he's asking me, as soon as possible, to take his name.
I want to be Santiago.
Like, that is the goal.
But like, there's a lot of check marks for me
before I'm ready to take your name.
And there's, like, a conversation of health care
coverage that's being dangled.
I don't have health care, and he does for his spouse.
We're married.
And I've asked to be on his health care.
And it was brought up today, and it was very much,
so are you taking my last name?
[music playing]
Wait.
Miguel has come out to say, I'm not
going to put you on my health care as my spouse
unless you take my name?
That's what was said.
Can I tell you what I think it is?
Please, because I don't understand.
Getting married to a stranger is [bleep] crazy, OK?
I think you are a lovely, wonderful person.
I think you guys are getting along swimmingly.
However, to say that you guys went
from stranger to marriage--
[snaps] like that is banana sandwich, OK?
Let's just keep it real.
I do not doubt that he cares about you immensely.
I do not doubt that he is wanting this to succeed.
I still think he has doubts about its level
of being successful.
But we're saying the same thing then.
We're literally saying the uncertainty thing.
Like, I'm not-- I can't take your last name until I know.
And he's saying, what, you can't be on my insurance
until I know?
Right.
Fine.
If you don't want to protect me, OK.
Like, that's where we're at.
But it literally cost him a phone call.
That's what I'm asking from him, to care for me as his wife.
And that is a red flag to me.
I don't understand why that's such a big--
I don't get it.
That was fun.
Yeah, I brought up needing and wanting
to be on your insurance, and then how you brought up me
wanting to take your last name.
And it just felt like we were saying
the same thing as far as, like, we're both
being cautious and hesitant.
Me taking your last name is a big deal.
And it's a big deal for you for me to be on your insurance.
What do you need from me?
What do you need from me to prove
to you that I'm in this enough for you
to want to take my last name?
I mean, right now it's so like--
it feels like we're just so testing the waters.
Like, we have separate finances, as we should.
We've known each other for two weeks.
But I need a joint account.
I need-- - You want a joint account.
OK.
I need, like, a plan of where I'm moving in eight weeks.
I need so much more.
OK.
But I need those milestones.
I need that security and those steps.
Mm-hmm.
There's certain tangible things that can happen before
I'm ready to just be-- change my identity, my identity,
my name, the only thing that's been given to me since day one.
We can talk about the finances.
We can talk about all the things you need for you to feel safe
and for me to prove to you that I'm about this.
But I feel like I kind of have.
You're asking so much of me.
I've been an LOA my entire life.
I have my doctorate.
Like, it's a big deal.
It is a big deal.
And until I feel secure, I can't give you that.
Mm-hmm.
And no, I don't feel secure right now.
I want you to understand that, like,
you-- what you're asking from me is
to live like a married couple.
Yeah.
But as a married couple--
like, married couples don't live as a married couple
before taking their last name, their husband's last names.
I feel like that's just like a legality.
Well, it's not.
I mean, I'm telling you it's how I would envision being married.
And you are married to me.
So my opinion matters in that regard.
But you're like, I don't want to be around her or with her
if she doesn't take my name.
Like, that's where you're at?
No, but I would like--
the more we talk about it and the more I
express my feelings on the matter, the more important
it becomes to me.
But you're hearing me and my reasons?
Oh, I am.
I am.
It's the same way for me.
Like, the more I explain and tell you how I feel,
the more important it becomes to me.
I need my last name.
I need my identity.
I don't need your insurance.
If I get hit by a car, then [bleep]..
You don't want to take care of me?
That's painful, and I don't understand that,
but that's your decision.
You can't even extend a hand to help
me see a [bleep] physician.
So if you can't do that, then how
the [bleep] do you expect me to take your last name, Miguel?
How?
I don't like this version of you.
I'm being myself. I'm being authentic.
I'm being real.
[music playing]
[sighs]