- Put on "The Nutcracker Suite,
perform your own inspired take on the ballet.
I can do that.
(whimsical music)
- Merry Christmas.
Ho ho ho ho.
- Hello.
- Hi. - Hello.
I'm Nanta, and I'm about to win beer pong.
- Mattie,
and Nanta doesn't know what she's talking about.
- We're dating, we've been together-
- For like three years.
We usually argue around Christmas.
- The past two Christmases we didn't spend it together
because we were arguing.
- We broke up last Christmas.
- Because of Christmas, we were openly dating.
- I feel like that's not what started it.
I feel like Nanta was like, not sure about like commitment.
And I was like, fuck it.
Date other people.
So then Nanta started dating or whatever.
It was like queer drama.
- [Together] Santa, elf, reindeer.
- Oh!
Oh.
Yes. - Fuck yeah.
Decorate yourself like a gorgeous Christmas tree.
I feel like I'm gonna decorate myself
as a Christmas tree.
♪ On the first day my true love gave to me ♪
♪ A partridge in a pear tree ♪
- Oh yeah.
(Nanta clapping)
- Oh.
- [Together] Oh.
- Reveal which one of Nanta's family members
you dread seeing the most at the holidays.
- You could say it.
- I don't know.
I feel like any one of like Nanta's family members
that are like Trump supporters,
that are gonna be talking about like Trump shit.
- Embarrassingly, yes.
Some are supportive and some are not because we're queer.
- Part of last year's Christmas argument was definitely,
mainly comments that were like super racist, so.
- Dude I don't mind you expose them.
Maybe, you know,
if they're - Put on blast.
- Yeah, they'll reconsider their life choices.
- [Together] Oh!
- Reveal a present you've received from Mattie
that you only pretended to like.
- I feel like there've been none.
- Yeah wait. Hold on though.
I mean, no, no.
I mean, every gift you've given me,
like outdos any- - Outdos?
- (laughing) For the sake of answering this,
the Idaho crop top.
- Oh.
(both laughing)
- I don't even wear crop tops.
- Gifts is like my love language.
I got Nanta like a custom made jewelry box
with like her name on it.
- Honestly, I can't remember.
And that's kind of sad.
- Yeah. - Somehow we made it this far.
- It's a miracle, Christmas miracle.
- Uh yes. - Oh no.
Make a Santa's beard out of whipped cream.
- Yes.
- I could do this.
You said I look nice.
- I am.
- Ow! - Sorry.
Wait.
(both laughing)
Uh!
- Choose any object in the room to kiss tenderly
under the mistletoe.
Slow dance with it as the holiday spirit descends.
- Do you wanna make out with something?
- Yeah,
I see elf over there.
Merry Christmas elf.
Where's my music?
♪ I don't want a lot for Christmas ♪
♪ Baby all I want for Christmas ♪
♪ Is you. ♪
(both laughing)
- I was at a karaoke bar.
- Then she saw I had a fan club.
So she was like, oh,
oh Mattie.
- Oh damn I gotta scoop them up before it's too late.
- As y'all can see, like that's the Leo coming out.
- What? No I really did have a fan club though.
- I know but like, it's just the bragging and stuff.
I'm a Pisces.
That means I'm really sweet.
- That's obviously not fucking true.
(Nanta laughs)
- Ah!
- Yes.
- Okay this is take a shot of fireball
and chase it with a shot of soy sauce.
- Soy sauce?
- You know I don't like salt.
- Just chase it with a Hershey kiss after.
- I'll do it, I guess.
- Yeah.
- If I vomit, I swear.
(Nanta laughs)
- Keep your nose plugged.
- Countdown.
One. - Oh, wait.
That's up counting.
- I'm fucking counting.
One,
two,
three.
- Oh, you got it.
Yeah, you got it.
(Nanta clapping)
You did it.
Babe, you can't be coughing these days.
- I don't really like you guys.
- Yes.
- Put on "The Nutcracker Suite"
and perform your own inspired take on the ballet.
I can do that.
(whimsical music)
- Oh. (laughing)
(both laughing)
- Okay I'm done.
- (clapping) Yay that was awesome.
- It is my last cup.
There's not so much.
- I mean, I've been out of college for a long time,
but I did play- - Nanta was in a sorority.
So you know.
- Yeah.
Yeah, surprisingly.
- I came out when I was in junior high
and my dad thought it was a joke.
The first thing my dad said to me was like,
Africans aren't gay.
Well. jokes on you.
I'm pretty gay.
Don't do it.
(Nanta cheering)
(Nanta laughing)
- As I said in the beginning,
I was gonna win.
I have now grabbed life by the ball
with this new fear pong pin.
- Happy Christmahannukwanzadan.
(clapping)