I gotta send some,
some love and some light out to the
family of the great David Crosby.
Definitely one of the people that
took me through my formative years,
especially the classic song Ohio.
He will be missed. Good evening.
Welcome to open mind.
We'd like to start off with a
few hot takes on news stories
you won't find anywhere else.
Let's start things off in Capitol Hill,
where Capital Riot defendant
Richard Bigo Barnett suggested.
Copywriting the message he
left on Nancy Pelosi's desk
during the insurrection,
which read Nancy Bigo, was here.
A high profile
case surrounding the January 6th
Capitol Insurrection starts today.
Remember this photo on your screen?
It's one of the most iconic
images from that day,
an Arkansas man sitting behind the desk
of former House Speaker Nancy Pelosi.
And now, two years later,
his trial is expected to begin
this morning at District Court.
Come on, big oh come on, dog.
This guy put his dirty work
boots on Nancy Pelosi's desk,
then tried to make it a brand bingo.
Looks like a big old disgrace.
Are you even allowed to copyright crime?
You know what?
I guess it doesn't matter,
because big O could never be the face
of the insurrection because the Q Anon
shaman dressed like Parliament Funkadelic
and a Jamiroquai hat already took that.
But the best big O could hope to be is
like the Larry the cable guy of January 6.
But then he needs a better catch
phrase than Nancy Bigo was here.
That's crap, that is.
That is no Gitter done.
Now big O will have time to work
on a new one if in fact he gets
sentenced to prison time, which?
He probably will.
Let's head to Delray Beach,
FL for this next story where,
according to police.
A woman named Lindsey Jane Kennedy
was pulled from a storm drain for the
third time in just over two years.
Yes, this happened three times.
Not once, not twice, but three times.
How does this happen that many times?
I have so many questions,
I don't even know where to start.
Lindsey was in that water.
Like, fool me once. Shame on shame on you.
Fool me. You can't get fooled again.
Shout out to George Bush and and J.
Cole now.
Lindsey Jane Kennedy was also
rescued from a storm drain in March
of 2021 after swimming in a canal,
then getting lost and wandering
through the tunnels for weeks.
Two months later she was rescued from
a storm drain in Grand Prairie, TX.
That's right,
not only is she a repeat offender,
she's doing it in multiple states.
No storm drain is safe now.
I don't know personally what the allure.
Is maybe she's looking for master
Splinter and the Ninja Turtles.
All I know is she finds storm
drains irresistible.
Her friends need to go ahead and buy
her a YMCA membership with pool access,
cause pool drains are too small
to get stuck in.
Let's stay in Florida for this next story.
Ohh.
What?
You mean that they won't let you
take AP African American studies now?
We might have that one for tomorrow.
Carol Baskin of Tiger King fame said
her missing husband Don Lewis is alive
and well and living in Costa Rica.
When they resurface 2021 interview.
Yet local law enforcement
still considers Lewis missing.
I thought that we were finished
with all the Tiger King people,
but they just they just keep
finding new ways to be messy.
Baskin claims that the Department
of Homeland Security told her
that Don Lewis is still alive.
Meanwhile,
the Hillsborough County Sheriff's
Office essentially said,
Nah, Nah, yeah,
we're we're still looking for him.
I'm gonna need Carol to show some receipts.
And I mean like real receipts,
like photos and videos of Don
living his best life laid up on
the beach next to Laurie Harvey.
That's the only way I'm
taking any of this seriously.
You know what this says CBS.
Let's get the CSI team back
together and have them investigate,
since Carol wants to bring
all this back up again.
And by the way,
in case you can't tell I'm over it,
let's leave all things Tiger King
and the place where they served
us back in quarantine 2020.
Now, Joe's last story,
because I know somebody out there
will want to take advantage of it.
A fine jewelry retailer named Shane
Company is looking to pay somebody
$1500 to go on 15 first dates
within the course of five months.
Now, some of y'all are already
doing this for free,
so you might as well get paid
for your commitment issues.
City boys getting paid to avoid
attachment sounds like a brilliant thing.
But remember,
dating is expensive and DC
is especially expensive.
You won't spend that.
1800 by date three that is
unless you plan strategically.
Now luckily they want 15 first dates
so in theory you could take each
date to a different free museum or
to the same museum if you're if
you're super basic National Portrait
Gallery staff won't be like Dang
you again this plan does involve
a lot of money and or I'm sorry
it does involve a lot of walking,
but you do get to pocket all the money
you know from 1 cheapskate to another.
Don't say I never looked out for you.
Now.
The only way this could get tricky is if
you meet somebody that you actually like.
Then you have to have an
awkward conversation.
Like, sorry,
I am contractually obligated
to see other people.
I need to sweep five more
ladies up off their feet.
Then it's you and me, baby.
Good luck and Godspeed to
whomever takes on this challenge.
City boys. My favorite story.
You know it's the 15 first
dates I'm out the game,
so I love watching other
people make poor life choices.