>> DON'T EVEN POINT AT ME.
I'VE GOT NOTHING.
I WAS PLAYING DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.
>> James: YOU WERE A COMIC BOOK KID?
YOU WERE INTO THAT.
>> YES.
>> James: DO YOU STILL HAVE YOUR COMIC BOOK COLLECTION?
>> NO.
I STOLE THEM ALL.
>> James: HOW OLD WERE YOU WHEN YOU STOLE THESE COMIC
BOOKS?
>> AS YOUNG AS I COULD BE WHEN I COULD FIGURE OUT ALL THE SIGHT
LINES AND BLIND SPOTS IN A STORE.
I -- NO, I READ -- >> James: AT 23 YEARS OLD?
>> I READ THEM SO FAST.
I WAS A HUGE NERD.
INTELLECTUAL.
I HAD BIG COKE BOTTLE GLASSES.
I READ LIKE CRAZY AND DREW AND PAINTED AND WHATEVER.
I WOULD GO TO COMIC BOOK STORES AND READ SO FAST THERE'S NO WAY
YOU CAN AFFORD THAT TYPE OF A READING HABIT.
>> James: RIGHT.
>> SO I TURNED TO THIEVERY.
>> James: TURNED TO CRIME.
>> RIGHT.
TURNED TO CRIME.
I STOLE TONS OF THEM -- ONES WORTH A LOT OF MONEY.
YEARS LATER, I GREW UP AND I THOUGHT, WHAT WOULD I TELL MY
KID IF I CAUGHT HIM DOING THIS?
YOU HAVE TO GO RETURN THEM!
SO AS AN ADULT, I WENT BACK TO MY MOM'S HOUSE, WENT IN THE
CLOSET, FOUND ALL THE COMIC BOOKS, SAME OWNER PITTSBURGH AT
THE STORE AND I WENT AND RETURNED THEM ALL.
[ APPLAUSE ] >> James: WHAT DID HE SAY?
WHAT DID HE SAY WHEN YOU RETURNED THEM?
>> MALL SECURITY CAME OVER.
THEY'RE LIKE, WHAT'S GOING ON OVER HERE?
AS I'M PULLING OUT THESE HUGE STACKS.
>> HOW MANY?
>> IT WAS LIKE THAT.
I MEAN, SPIDER-MAN, GHOSTRIDER II.
WOLVERINE.
I HAD EVERYTHING.
I PULLED THEM OUT.
HE LOOKS UP AT ME AND SAYS THE "YOU'RE ABSOLVED!"
JAMES OH, I LOVE THAT.
THAT'S GLORIOUS!
NOW, JENNIFER.
AFTER YOU STOPPED SINGING AS A "GOODWILL AMBASSADOR" IN RUSSIA,
YOU AS A TEENAGER -- I DON'T KNOW IF PEOPLE KNOW THIS -- YOU
WERE A POP STAR IN JAPAN.
>> I WAS, YEAH.
>> James: HOW DID THAT HAPPEN?
ALREADY LIKE THREE LIVES!
>> WELL, I WAS IN A LIVESTOCK SHOW -- NO!
SO I ACTUALLY JUST GOT A RECORD DEAL -- YEAH, I DON'T.
IT'S A LONG STORY.
I GOT THIS RECORD DEAL.
I PUT OUT MUSIC IN JAPAN.
IT WAS VERY POPULAR.
THANK GOD, IT WAS REALLY NICE.
I GOT TO TOUR THERE A LOT.
I WENT THERE 12 OR 15 TIMES IN ONE YEAR.
I WAS ON THESE SHOWS, BUT BECAUSE I WAS LITTLE, LIKE, MY
BED TIME WAS AT 7:00 OR SOMETHING.
MY MOM WOULD HAVE TO WAKE ME UP AT 11:30 OR 12: 00 AT NIGHT TO
GET READY TO BE ON THESE SHOWS.
I HAD NO IDEA WHAT ANYONE WAS SAYING OR WHAT WAS GOING ON.
THEY WOULD POINT TO ME AND I WOULD BE LIKE, OK.
I WOULD GO AND FALL ASLEEP.
IT WAS CRAZY.
THEN I DID A COMMERCIAL THERE AND IT WAS, AGAIN, IT WAS REALLY
GREAT.
>> James: IF ONLY -- IF ONLY WE HAD A CLIP OF YOU FROM ONE OF
THOSE SHOWS IN JAPAN.
TAKE A LOOK AT THIS.
[ SINGING ] OH!
[ APPLAUSE ] IT WAS BEAUTIFUL!
YOUR MUSIC TASTE IS A LITTLE MORE ROCK.
>> ONCE AGAIN.
>> James: YOU WERE A ROCKER.
IS THIS TRUE?
YOU ACTUALLY HAD METALLICA PLAYING AT YOUR WEDDING?
DURING THE WEDDING CEREMONY?
>> WELL, NOT THE REAL METALLICA, UNFORTUNATELY JAMES NO.
>> James: NO?
>> I SNUCK METALLICA IN.
>> YOU'RE VERY SNEAKY.
>> WHEN I WAS WALKING DOWN THE AISLE, I HIRED CELLO AND VIOLIN
PLAYERS.
AHEAD OF TIME, I ASKED THEM IF THEY COULD TRANSLATE "NOTHING
ELSE MATTERS" BY METALLICA INTO VIOLIN AND CELLO WHICH IS
INCREDIBLY BEAUTIFUL.
AS I'M WALKING DOWN THE AISLE, MY MOTHER TURNS TO ME AND SAYS,
"OH MY GOSH!
THIS IS BEAUTIFUL.
WHAT IS THIS?" AND I SAID, UM, "IT'S
METALLICA."
I LOOK AROUND AND MY BUDDY PATRICK FROM COLLEGE IS LIKE
"YES!" >> James: HA-HA!