"Hi Tripp. I enjoy watching a lot of your YouTube videos and emails. They are very engaging and
informative. He says I've used some of your material to great success. However, I was curious
about your opinion on compliments. I realize that you say no compliments until in a relationship.
However, in some videos you say no physical compliments, but compliments on personality.
In videos on top pickup lines, you said that complimenting and saying a girl's smile or
eyes are beautiful. He quotes "Hey, I saw you over here and thought you were cute. I had to say hi"
was a line that you stated to use and another line that you stated to use was to tell a girl
she's adorable. I love complimenting girls on their personality and oftentimes will compliment
them on their outfit. The only physical compliments that I have done are hair,
smile or eyes. One of the best compliments is on how their outfits match well with their hair.
Like I said, I like a lot of your advice and agree with it. But sometimes you appear to contradict
yourself on the issue. It depends on the situation and your level of rapport with a girl. Thank you,
William." William, so glad you brought this up. And I've heard from guys who said this before and
you're right, I have absolutely contradicted myself – guilty as charged. I've contradicted
myself. If you go into old material, I've been doing this for 11 years, if you go to old material
on YouTube, maybe even on the podcast, but I know 100% on the on the YouTube channel I have
a video called "The 5 Best Compliments To Give A Girl." And here's the thing, it is very rare
that my advice evolves, but it has evolved. I've been doing this for a long time. There
are some pieces of advice, not a lot, but this is an example of one of them. Just a few things.
Don't be scared by the way, going into old content, don't be too frightened of this. But
there are a few things that have evolved. And one of them is the compliment. I will admit to that.
You will find, like I said, a few things about how to give a compliment, what compliments
work well, and I still don't think it's the worst advice, but now I've evolved to a place where
I think that compliments are not productive for a guy to be dishing out as an opener.
The "Hey, I saw you over here and thought you were cute. I had to say hi." I'd rather you say, "Hey,
two seconds, I wanted to come meet you." Or "Hey, two seconds, I wanted to come over and say hi."
Not using the compliment opener as well as my newest advice which is to not
compliment in general. Don't compliment her on anything, even if it is her style or her hair,
smile or eyes. And the reason why I say that now is because as flirty as it may seem,
and it is nice to show a little bit of intent, I also believe that it doesn't help because
it subconsciously comes off as disingenuous. Most women have heard these compliments before.
It doesn't really do much for you. This is what I've come to learn and this is why I've
changed my advice on this. Most women have... it just doesn't do much because they're getting
it a lot. It's like oversaturated, her hearing a compliment on anything. Also, you're not doing it
selflessly. I've learned that too. A lot of compliments are not selfless, especially in
this arena of meeting women and attracting women. They're not. You're saying it to get something.
You're saying it, yeah, you might mean it. I'm not saying you don't mean it. You see a girl and she's
got great style, you might mean it. But you're not selflessly saying that. You're not going "Here.
I want to let you know this so you feel good. This has nothing to do with me." It's not
selfless. You're trying to get something out of it. And it is going to be more effective for you
to just not say that at all and have her chase your validation a little bit.
I don't want you to be this guy who's putting her on a pedestal and I think that compliments
do that. It's like, why does she deserve a compliment? You don't even know her? That's why
I say in a relationship. It's a lot different. But up until the beginning you don't really know her.
Even when you're dating a girl for a few months. I just think why not? And by the way, you say
this to a woman and they're gonna blow up at you and think oh my god, that's not very politically
correct this advice, that's for sure. You're gonna hear girls be like that's so evil. It's not evil.
Evil is saying to a girl like you're fat or you're ugly. But not giving a compliment. That's just
nothing. It's neutral in my eyes. I believe that it's more effective for you as a guy who's trying
to attract a woman to completely be done with the compliments, have her chase your validation,
and it's not this this ultimate form of attraction. You should be able to attract a woman
based on who you are as a man versus you giving her something. It's almost like to me,
the compliment is equivalent to... a piece of advice, by the way, that I've always given
in the past 11 years of Tripp Advice... is like giving a girl flowers on a first date.
Are you going to do that? Well, I hope you wouldn't. My advice has always
been do not give a girl flowers, don't buy her presents or gifts.
It's like the same thing. It's like this weird manipulative thing that you're doing.
No, she needs to earn that. Hey, you need to earn things too. She's treating you the exact same way.
She's not gonna just go out with you. She's not going to just sleep with you.
You have to earn that. She has to earn that too. Everyone should be earning.
It should not just be something that you just hand off to her. And again, even if you do,
repeating myself here, it's not as effective. In fact, it can hurt you. Because she's gonna
think oh, I got him. No, play the game a little bit. You don't have to be giving her everything.