okay so I have a grocery haul as you can see all of those bags there
what are you gonna do
I told you we're gonna hang out and watch your movie I'm gonna take some pictures
for these things does anyone else have an exceptionally large amount
literally just shove them in there okay so my animals have a lot of toys but I think
it's time I go through them so I'm only up three pets and it's just a lot so I'm gonna go through
them right now here's your toys all right so I just keep it in this cute little bin hi baby boy
you're so sweet yeah all right so the ones I'm keeping I'm going to show you guys
very oh she just tried to get in it oh my God
she got a toy you play this is a container because I'm actually getting out my uh Halloween stuff are
you playing oh my goodness I'm gonna get it no it's Twinkie I'm gonna get it what are you gonna
do about it alrighty that looks so much better oh baby boy so much better it's time to get
out my Halloween stuff I have a few things a few little cutesy things do have some things that I do
like so I think I'm gonna like decorate soon so I have this which is Brew poison apple book unicorn
skeleton love me some fake pumpkins I have this guy
with some roses a little carriage moment a gate moment we also have this lace pumpkin
skeletons a Bejeweled pumpkin pearly glass pumpkin another glass pumpkin whatever this guy is
last but not least some more books in the video okay end the video goodbye
oh my God I can't breathe okay so I just got out of the doctor thankfully I was able to
see my doctor today I'm gonna have to explain everything it's confusing it's weird I will
say though it feels so good outside like it makes me want to go to a park okay so
I'm now home and I've been crying since the last clip I got in the car started crying
and then got home started crying I have other personal things going on in my life
right now and I know like people have been seeing they seem so unhappy and stuff just
yeah I'm just there's a lot of things that I'm not sharing and I don't know if I want to and I know
speculation so I do keep a lot of things from you guys and I know I said I'm not gonna talk about my
[ __ ] ankle anymore and that was my goal and but it was a big part of my life and I'm sorry I look
like my makeup looked pretty decent today and then crying has made it not so decent and the reason
why it's bugging me is because I can see myself in the viewfinder and that's yeah so during my whole
ankle debacle um all of a sudden literally out of nowhere I was having
tremendous shoulder pain to the point of I couldn't move my arm it radiated to my neck
and I was feeling it in my back especially when I would Breathe In This was a couple weeks ago
um I have had a EKG and no heart attack no heart problems none of that so I was struggling with
that for a little bit and I thought it was because of how I was getting onto the bed
because of my ankle because you don't even realize how much you use certain parts of your body to do
certain things until you no longer could use said part of your body or it hurts really bad
to you said part of the body and to get on the bed I used my foot my ankle just for some help
holy [ __ ] [ __ ] I am very big I am super momently obese getting on the bed was really
hard because a I had to change how I was doing it blah blah so I thought that I had pulled a
muscle or something like that so I want to say that the pain did go away and that was after I
was taking ibuprofen I was going back and forth between heating it with a heating pad and icing it
with like a little ice pack but then it came back a couple days ago and I haven't had to get on the
bed in any weird way because my ankle is healing it is almost healed I'm so glad I I do notice that
it's healed in a very peculiar peculiar words it has healed in a very interesting way I feel like
it's a little bit more my foot's a little bit more like this instead of like this it's a little more
like this and like when I sat up from falling I looked down at the ankle that made that noise and
my foot was just like dangling and actually that happens to a lot of people who um heal from torn
ligaments and I hi baby girl so um that is like normal whatever so yeah we're we're doing pretty
good um along those lines I was very worried because the pain was so bad that I was forever
going to have ankle problems I was so scared that it was going to be like a bed bound situation like
a few days ago I started having the pain again it started just a little bit in my shoulder but
nowhere near nowhere near as bad as it was and then like when I breathed in my like where your
lug is bro like in your back it is this sharp pain and not only do I feel that but it feels like my
lung is like thumping once I reach especially once I reach that like like right there oh because I
did like a deep breath whatever so and there is a little bit of a cough and it's mainly when I get
up walk or something um and I have shortness of breath so those things are scary for anybody so
I went to the ER love my doctor absolutely amazing phenomenal um best doctor I've ever had honestly
so um I wanted to see my doctor obviously instead of going to the ER but there was no appointments
and they literally said those are your symptoms go to the ER I know a lot of people were mad
that I went to the ER which is so freaking odd to me because if you have shortest of breath
with shoulder pain back pain all of those things that's not a like those are not like normal things
especially when you're my size they said that when you come in with symptoms like that they need to
take it seriously and urgently because it's so scary so I do not feel bad for going to the ER
so after the ER you know it says follow up with your you know healthcare provider your doctor
so I instantly called and made an appointment for Tuesday today's Monday I woke up and when
I tell you like my breathing was not normal then like that sharp pain with the weird thumping so I
was like you know what I need to call the doctor see if she can fit me in for today if she can't
oh wait the doctor's calling me hold on okay so the doctor did fit me in for today she said
she's gonna look at my D-dimer which when I went to the ER that's what they should have checked
especially because the symptoms that um I had so she was like I'm gonna look and see um if they
did your D-dimer if it's normal then obviously it's on a blood clot but then if it's a little
elevated then something you need to look into um so she said I'll call you what she just called
me so just keep in mind that when I went to the ER they said oh that's normal and in my heart I
just I felt like they were wrong this has happened before uh when I had gallstones they said I didn't
even though I did with my uterine cancer I just kept getting diagnosed with the UTI and I said
that's nine times out of ten that's why people bleed in their pee I don't know it was just
so it's like when I feel like something is wrong I know that I need to be an advocate
for myself nine times out of ten just as a more really obese person we don't get the
same Healthcare even doctor now um from six from her life he's like so honest about it he's like
people who are bigger get discriminated again so I'm not saying that these people I've seen
are discriminating against me doctors are perfect they're not robots I love them I appreciate them
without them like what would we do my doctor just called me after she looked at my stuff
and she said they did not do a D-dimer she even said that she's like you you know show signs of
possibly having an able to claw in your lungs so they should have done that but they didn't and
something actually was found in my x-ray and part of my lung God I just feel like it's never ending
I don't know part of my lung is collapsed the bottom of it and it's like is that what's causing
all this and my doctor said if your breathing gets worse then that could be a bad thing why
wouldn't the ER tell me I don't understand that like partially collapsed lung just at the bottom
of it is collapsed that's terrifying and I just don't know what to do with that information
um she's referring me to the CT place so I can get a CT scan I'm just really like
this is so much on top of what I'm already [ __ ] going through already got like what
when it rains it pours like I want to believe in like tarot readings or whatever like I was
on Tick Tock scrolling through like a week ago and it said if you find this it's meant
for you you're going to be coming in with lots of good luck good things are going to happen to you
the cards can reveal things that you will never see by yourself call me now for your free tarot
reading what type like obviously not tarot reading like uh I don't even think I've processed
collapsed lung like what do I do with that information
like what do I do
this is real life like so many people keep complaining your Vlogs are so boring you
seem so sad my job is to fill my life and I'm sorry but I'm [ __ ] going through it
so that's what you guys are gonna see the only option that I want is happiness and healthy and
I don't know like I was very worried because you know I've had uterine cancer and what if
you know it was lung cancer like obviously those thoughts are in my head because of
things that I've gone through in the past and I don't know I'm just really scared you guys just
please keep me in your thoughts and if you probably pray just please good [ __ ] energy
that's just what I need right now so like I would greatly appreciate it like again